My other half occasionally claims to be a vegetarian. She knows that she isn’t really, she’s actually a pescetarian but people find it easier to understand vegetarian. For some reason it’s more difficult to accept someone not eating meat if the person in question is perfectly happy to eat fish. Not that my beloved explains her motivations particularly…
Month: May 2015
The Goblet of Football
This post is about football, so it would be remiss not mention yesterday’s Fifa election, which Sepp Blatter, won, essentially unopposed. Again. This despite much public outcry and allegations of corruption. This is the world governing body of a sport is it not? Because it felt a bit like he had held onto power in…
Parlons de la Voiture
I drive a 2007 silver Ford Ka. It is not the coolest car in the world. Still I quite like it. I live in Reading after all, a town that is perennially beset with traffic problems, so even if I owned a Ferrari, I’d be stuck in the same slow-moving one-way system. Plus I couldn’t…
Of Retail and Robins
The walk to my local supermarket is eminently pleasant. It’s a twenty minute stroll through charming green parkland, alongside a canal, complete with lock and canal boats, and at one point a dramatic river crossing, which incorporates a stunning vista of the Thames in all its glory. It makes me feel a little guilty that…
Coffee-Counter Culture
I’ve always been more of a coffee drinker than a tea drinker, which perhaps defies the British stereotype. It’s not uncommon though, and truthfully I’m not anti-tea or anything; I like tea too, I just prefer coffee. I’ve drunk coffee for as long as I can recall; certainly my habit began in primary school. If…
Eggcellent Electricals (would egglectricals be stretching the pun too far?)
No-one enjoys a bit of washboard percussion more than I. But apparently the washboard wasn’t created as a musical instrument. It’s actually, believe it or not, a device for doing laundry, but the invention of the washing machine has rendered it all but redundant in this capacity. The world is full of such labour-saving devices.…
Buffet Bliss
If you ask me what my favourite food is, on any given day I would probably give you a different answer. It’s really down to what mood I’m in at that particular moment. I’m not really that discerning. The French would definitely not describe me as a gourmet (dictionary definition – a person who cultivates…
Livid Leprechaun
Reading’s local rugby team is called London Irish. It’s a strange name for a team that is evidently not based in London, and has limited links to Ireland. Historically it had both of those things going for it, originally being set up as a club for Irish people who were living in London. The name…
Glorious Gluttony
I went to the pub last night. I didn’t drink that much, but I ended up being a tiny bit drunk. Certainly I was drunk enough that when I went to the chip shop on the way home I bought a significantly larger amount of food than I would have had I not been imbibing…
Un-SUIT-able
I only have one suit. It’s a really nice suit though. I got married in it, so I really pushed the boat out and had it tailor-made. It is literally the most expensive thing I own apart from my house. Since getting married in it I have worn it to numerous weddings, funerals, christenings and…
Angry Artists
There’s this belief that anger and adversity produces the best art. I’m not certain who actually believes it, but it does seem to be a truism of sorts that is rarely challenged. I have never achieved success in any of the arts apart from coming second in a short story competition of some repute when…
Sunday Sorrows
When the Antique Roadshow theme song blasts out of my television I feel sick to my stomach. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against the programme. I don’t actually watch it with any regularity but if I do, it’s because I’m procrastinating in front of the television rather than doing something more useful. But…
Mug Mugging
This is no ordinary ceramic mug; this is a mug that I purchased from the Manchester Museum gift shop in November 2006. “Big Deal!” I hear you cry. Anyone could buy a mug from the Manchester Museum gift shop. Well anyone who pays a visit to the Manchester Museum could anyway. True enough and certainly…
Breakfast Is Brilliant
It’s always good to throw in an Oscar Wilde quote, as evidence of one’s own wit. It’s a strange vicarious thrill. I’m quoting Oscar Wilde, therefore I’m equally as droll as the celebrated 19th century playwright. On that basis, and to prove my own wittiness, I shall quote him now. “Only dull people are brilliant…
Jammy James
Once again I find myself to be the last person in the building as my colleagues have all departed for the day. Much paperwork to catch up on, and emails to reply to, have delayed my escape. The pain has been somewhat eased, however, upon inspection of the old ‘Celebrations’ tub from Christmas, that sits…
Mistaken Machine
About to leave work at the end of a frankly mental day, my foot was half out of the door when I heard the phone ring in the office. As the last person in the building, I could have chosen to ignore the call and let the machine get it, but I decided to do…
Darth by Chocolate
I love Star Wars. The Empire Strikes Back is probably my favourite film of all time, but I basically love all of the films, even though I am fully aware that the ‘prequel’ trilogy, particularly ‘The Phantom Menace’ are objectively quite bad. I also love Star Wars Merchandise. I had loads of toys when I…
The All-Important First Post
I’ve started numerous blogs over the years. They always start well. I usually post regular updates for a few days, sometimes even two or three daily. Then I miss a day, then a few days. This becomes a few weeks and then, really, the blog is dead; my passion runs out. Eventually when the blogging…
James Proclaims! 