Happy Cyber Monday! Words to warm even the coldest of hearts as November draws to a close. Not some dystopian vision of a future in which robots control our every movement, but a cheerless reminder of our mercantile present.
Month: November 2015
A Bibliophile Bemoans Being Busy
I often claim I like to read When I have time to kill A novel is the ideal thing If I have hours to fill I like all kinds of fiction Few genres make me frown I’m really not too fussy I’ll even read Dan Brown
James Embraces The Modern World
I’m writing this on my phone. To me that is enough of a novelty for me to need no further content in this post. For I am a man that eschews technology.
James Complains About ‘Black Friday – UK’
I’ve been in work today. All day. Because it is a normal working day in the UK. Yet according to my email inbox and various media outlets, today is ‘Black Friday’, the ‘busiest shopping day of the year!’ Was it ever thus?
It’s Just Another Thursday Here
It didn’t really occur to me when I started this blog that I would have any readers outside of my existing friends and family, and I imagined that even they would probably only give it a cursory glance from time to time, and then only out of a weary sense of loyalty.
When Did ‘Sleep’ Become A Unit Of Time?
A senior colleague announced today that it’s thirty more sleeps till Christmas. Maybe for you grandpa, I thought to myself before remembering that I too am now a grownup and and can no longer be found in trendy nightclubs, drinking and dancing till dawn. Actually was there ever a time when I did that? Probably…
A Chicken And Egg Conundrum
I honestly can’t recall If I started drinking coffee To combat the resultant fatigue Of insomnia Or if the fatigue is born of An insomnia That is itself a symptom Of excessive caffeine consumption But on a day when I have An omelette for breakfast And a Nandos for lunch There is at least one…
James Reviews James Proclaims
I haven’t written a ‘James Reviews’ for a while. The original concept was that I’d write reviews about stuff that no-one really needs, or at least stuff no-one really needs a review of. Obviously everyone should own drumstick pencils and a Jedi dressing gown. But the trouble is that there’s only so often you can…
James Complains About The Inappropriate Disposal Of Disposable Pants
To label the space in front of my house as a ‘garden’ would be somewhat overselling it. A tiny patch of gravel does not constitute a garden. Equally, a few years back, when the estate agent tried to convince me that it was suitable for ‘off-road’ parking, I was also a little sceptical. But my…
Work-life Unbalance
I think that I might have a problem It’s not something I can ignore It’s taking over my life It’s starting to become a bore I seem to be spending too much time Earning my monthly pay I do quite like to have money But there must be an easier way I think it would…
A Healthy Diet
Through grapes, grains and hops I consume my five a day Sometimes even more
Rhyme But No Reason
I think it’s time for a poem I said aloud one eve I haven’t written one for days At least three I do believe But what kind of poem should I write And what should it be about? Shall I deal with themes profound Or nonsense shall I spout? Philosophical and worthy Is perhaps the…
An Inadequate Tribute To A Sporting Hero
The 2009 film ‘Invictus’ tells the story of how the South African national rugby team overcame the odds and and won the 1995 rugby world cup. It was a significant moment in the history of both the sport and the nation. The film probably overstates the ‘underdog’ nature of the team, given that the Springboks…
Scraping The Barrel
On my lunch break as I write this. Frankly if I wasn’t attempting NaBloPoMo, I’d probably give today a miss. I’ve got university this evening so my blogging time is at a minimum today. It’s seriously raining outside and I’ve got bottom set year nine in about fifteen minutes. They’re always high on sugar in…
The November Working Week
November, Monday Cold dark morning without cheer Don’t want to be here November, Friday Still cold but the time is near To enjoy a beer
Reading in Reading
I’m writing this from inside a library. Not just any library but an actual university library. Where people come to study. In fact it’s the main library of the University of Reading. The University of Reading is so-called because it is in the town of Reading in Berkshire, England, rather than because it is a…
Souvenirs
Discussing major world events isn’t my forte and in any case the recent horrors in Paris have left me without words. There’s nothing I can write that’s going alleviate any suffering or make any sense of last night’s atrocities. But like many people I have been preoccupied, for most of today, with what has happened.…
That’s Not Stilton…
I enjoy blue cheese Much less when it is not the Expected colour
It Was This Or Nothing Today
Blogging daily is no easy trick Don’t want to rely on a gimmick But when time is quite tight Is it ok to write A pointless and facile limerick?
Other Yeast Extracts Are Available
I just enjoyed two slices of Marmite on toast. It was a thoroughly pleasant late evening snack, which should help me persevere with some of the tasks I need to complete before I head off to the Land of Nod. The Land of Nod is not an actual place. It is a metaphor for being…
Healthy And Safety Matters
After the success of my last ‘Found Poem’, I was fairly keen to do another, but I wasn’t sure what to use as my source material. Then, like a gift, I was asked to attend Health and Safety training at work (because I’m new, not because I’m a danger to myself and colleagues). I say…
This Probably Didn’t Happen
When I was young I really enjoyed the Narnia books by CS Lewis. They captured my imagination and I really wanted to go to the magical land of Narnia. The best my family could manage was Cornwall, which is magical in it’s own right but it’s not really the same. We still used to travel by…
You can tell you were a child of the…
I’ve been thinking of how I can make this blog more popular because that kind of thing really matters to me. Am I being sarcastic or do I really mean that? I genuinely have no idea. Anyway I’ve heard that lists are popular and we all like those lists that remind us about all the…
James Complains About Ironing
The Iron Man comic books and films would probably have captured the imagination of the public a little less if his main super power was removing the creases from clothes. But if someone offered to do that for me they would certainly be my superhero of choice. Given the options of battling the forces of…
The Weekend Is Here!
The last few days have been quite severe I’ve been waiting all week for a beer Or a nice glass of wine Would be equally fine I am so glad the weekend is here
What are the rules?
I’m not sure what the rules are for NaBloPoMo. Is there a minimum word count? Does the post actually have to be about anything? Or can you just write a few sentences about the fact that you’re participating in NaBloPoMo everyday without making reference to anything else? Cos that would be a bit of a…
Coffee versus People
If I can get to the weekend then it will all be ok. Coffee will help. Alcohol will not help, which is a shame because I really feel like a nice cold beer right now. Or a nice glass of Chateau Neuf du Pape. Or that really cheap cider that I got drunk on that…
The first hurdle
It’s 11.05 pm GMT as I begin to write this and I’m gulping down my sixth cup of coffee of the day. It’s probably ill-advised but I doubt it will stop me from sleeping tonight. After boldly claiming yesterday that writing thirty blog posts in thirty days for NaBloPoMo would be undemanding, I find myself…
It’s The Taking Part That Counts
It’s November. November is a rubbish month. All the shops are full of Christmas stuff but Christmas is still ages away. It’s cold. It’s dark. I will probably be ill for at least some of this month. It’s not that surprising that November is commandeered annually as a month in which to achieve formidable things…
An Incomplete Explanation About Why James Didn’t Proclaim
It’s one of those conundrums that I think many of us bloggers go through. I’ve been through it before in previous incarnations of my online journal but this is the first time since ‘James Proclaims’ began. Essentially I’ve had a sustained period of ‘not blogging’. It’s been almost three weeks since my last post, which…
James Proclaims! 