This post, the one you’re currently reading (if indeed you are reading this) is the 524th post to appear on James Proclaims. Which is not hugely significant in and of itself, but back on October 30th 2017, I had only written a measly 324 posts. On October 31st, I wrote a post about Halloween. Little…
Month: May 2018
Unleash Your Lethargy
Sorry that I didn’t Do that thing I said I’d do I didn’t get around to it Because I didn’t want to It’s not that I am lazy (Though you could say that of me) But I really see no purpose In being as busy as a bee It’s hard to really care about A…
Sofa Loafer
Sitting on my sofa Is where I like to be It might not be exciting But it’s just right for me I don’t crave adventure I don’t need a quest I’d rather put my feet up And have a little rest It’s really not the height Of furniture design But for a lazy evening My…
James Explains Toppling Penguins Amongst Other Things
Welcome back to another James Explains, the place where I answer the questions that no-one else can. Mostly because they weren’t asked those questions. I was. So I will answer them. Because it would be rude not to. Tragically Uncool has noticed the fairly regular posting of stuff on this blog of late and asks…
All That Twitters Is Not Trolled
As part of my never ending quest to be able to have my cake and eat it, and then have another slice of cake and eat that too, I have recently taken up swimming. I mean I had swum before, I used to do it quite a lot as a child, and then for a…
Glass Overflowing
Sunday much better When I begin my day with Sundae for breakfast
Glass Now Empty
Awesome Friday nights Far too often result in Awful Saturdays
Glass Half Empty
Waited a whole week For Friday night to arrive Just to dread Monday
A Triennium Of Proclamations
Today is my third blogiversary. That’s right, I’ve been doing this blogging malarkey for three whole years now. Which seems like a respectable amount of time to have maintained a blog. It’s probably worthy of some kind of recognition. I should at least get a certificate. Maybe even a laminated certificate. I’d like to say…
There Is No ‘I’ In T-E-A-M
There are things that I am bad at Which are a strength of yours So if we work together We might accomplish more It seems to make more sense For our skills to be combined If we share our talents We can leave our woes behind It won’t be a partnership Built on equality My…
James Explains The Fundamental Disappointment Of Existence Amongst Other Things
Welcome to another James Explains, the bit of my blog where I answer questions that other people have asked. I don’t necessarily answer them correctly but an inability to respond to enquiries accurately doesn’t seem to be the barrier to success that it once was. Indeed professing to be an expert in things that one…
James’ Shamelessly Nostalgic A-Z Of Cartoon Characters That He Liked As A Child – Final Thoughts
It’s been a week since I finished my A-Z of Cartoon Characters as part of my participation in the annual A-Z blogging challenge. As part of the challenge, I’m supposed to write a post reflecting on the whole experience, and never one to overlook my responsibilities, I am doing just that today. So, what did…
Lofty Ambitions
Today I have a goal A target I must hit It really won’t be easy But I’m not going to quit I will persevere all day Until I achieve my aim I’ve failed at this before But today I’ll up my game It might be a touch ambitious A bit beyond my scope But if…
Life Style
With a mug of supposedly ‘artisan’ coffee (at least according to the packaging from which he had extracted the pod) in one hand and his brand new, state of the art, smartphone in the other, Ronald opened up the supermarket app and attempted to complete his weekly grocery shop from the comfort of his cream…
I Am So Clever That Sometimes I Don’t Understand A Single Word Of What I Am Saying
Welcome back to Artist’s Corner, the bit of my blog where I wow the world with my artistic talents. Of which I have few. Prior to my April love letter to the cartoons of my youth, I was using this bit of my blog to pay homage to some of the great literary figures of…
Films I Watched When I Was Younger – Issue 12: Last Man Standing
1996’s Last Man Standing is one of those movies that, on paper, looks like it should be an absolute winner. Bruce Willis plays the nameless hero/antihero who goes, for the sake of convenience, by the name of John Smith. Christopher Walken is suitably unsettling as Hickey, the only credible threat to Smith’s supremacy with a…
Desperate Lover
I know I said I’d write A poem about you But I can’t do it now Cos I really need the loo You know that I adore you And I would try to write it first But I just can’t hold it in Cos I’m about to burst My poem will be lovely I’m sure…
James Explains Some Stuff That No-one Asked Him To Explain
Welcome back to another James Explains. It’s been a while since I last donned my explaining socks (which are, essentially, just ordinary socks that I’ve chosen to call ‘explaining socks’), to answer the questions posed to me by other people. People like you. Assuming you are people. Which is the only assumption I can make,…
