Last week we explored the efficacy of ducks (or more accurately geese, which aren’t ducks) at hindering my morning run, in comparison to puddles. That round went to puddles. Let’s see if ducks (and associated waterfowl) can level things up this week. Prior to current world events, I would often take my daughter to…
Month: June 2020
Complacency
Of course I knew the dangers But, I’m pretty experienced And most of the time There isn’t anything to worry about Maybe I just got careless Assumed that the worst Could never happen to me A lazy assumption I now realise Based on the flimsy evidence That the worst hadn’t happened to me Not for…
Broccoli Monopoly
Eat your broccoli To stay healthy and ensure There’s none left for me
Opinion Piece
Though it is accepted wisdom To equate success to fame I’m really not that sorry That nobody knows my name Yes, I’m glad that I’m not famous I’m happily unknown Anonymity quite suits me I’m sure I’m not alone Of course, I would admit that Fame might well have the odd perk Being wealthy would…
The Beautiful Game
Once in a while I like to put aside my own nonsense and compile the gibberish of others to make a ‘found poem’. In reality, I’ve only actually done this three times on my blog, and the last time was back in 2016, so it’s not a regular activity. The last one was in honour…
Cat
After the critical acclaim my daughter and I enjoyed last week with our debut collaboration, ‘Helicopter‘, we’re back this week with another of our artistic offerings. This week, Little Proclaims was keen to show another side of her, quite formidable, talents and has offered a more aggressive, almost brutal, palette to complement the elementary template…
An Homage To The Now Departed Daily Briefing
Hello and welcome to today’s update We haven’t got anything new to say Nothing’s really changed since yesterday But it’s important, nonetheless That we update you anyway Otherwise you’ll realise That we haven’t got any idea what we’re doing We’d rather give the impression That we do know what we’re doing Even though we don’t…
Ducks Versus Puddles (Round 1)
A couple of notes before I begin: This post is notionally about ducks, but really it’s more about geese. And a tiny bit about swans. Essentially it’s about the birds that live on the Thames, or the bit of the Thames that goes through the town of Reading. I think the collective name for such…
Just Because You Can Doesn’t Mean That You Should
Though virtual meetings are oft prone To provide many reasons to moan They may have to take place When there’s no face to face But don’t do Teams for two, use the phone
I Am Your Father
Don’t be fooled by the title of the post – unless you are my almost-two-year-old daughter, I am not your father. And I’m pretty sure you’re not my daughter because, precocious though she appears to be, she can’t yet read. To the best of my knowledge anyway. But today is Fathers Day and, as of…
Troubleshooting
If I can’t solve it By drinking excessively Then I can’t solve it
Always Show Your Workings
People who teach maths Believe there’s strength in numbers But still require proof
Helicopter
It’s been a little over two years since I troubled the blogosphere with one of my not-very-good drawings. But, though my artistic talents have not improved in that time, I have acquired a new fan of my doodles. Little Proclaims is quite keen on drawing too, although much of her work appears to be from…
No Cats Were Harmed In The Writing Of This Poem
It’s not that I don’t appreciate Innovative ways of doing things I’m certainly no advocate For always doing The tried and tested I’m all for experimenting Redefining what’s possible Doing things differently It’s not the methodology that matters So much as the goal And how ever many ways There might be to achieve this I’m…
An Overly Long Post About An Underwhelming Return To Running After Quite A Few Years Of Not Running
Note – I started writing this on Sunday, but didn’t get around to finishing it until today. So every reference to ‘today’, with the exception of the one in the previous sentence, actually refers to Sunday. Not that it matters, but I’d hate for you to feel in any way deceived. Today, according to my…
Renaissance
It has been a difficult time For everyone And the world might have changed now Beyond all recognition It is more than possible That things will never be the same And as a species we will have to adjust To adapt, to reframe, to reflect But out of the ashes of despair Opportunity rises like…
The Force Is Wrong With This One
Haikus easy are When syntax you care not of And Like Yoda write
It Could Be Worse…
Staring at four walls I pity those who live in Triangle shaped homes
Zooming Away To Another Meeting
I’m in a meeting as I write this. It is, as most meetings are these days, a ‘virtual’ meeting. I’m currently using Zoom. I have also used Teams quite a lot. I don’t like either very much. I’ve never written a blog post in a meeting before, however, as there are 42 people in this…
The Secret Of My Success
I don’t wish to brag So I work really hard at Underachieving
Welcome To The New Normal
Welcome to the new normal It’s a bit like the old normal But with a smidgen less freedom A tiny bit less choice And quite a lot less fun On the plus side though There are more queues And more joggers A lot more joggers And there is more than enough fear for everyone And…
Teams Spirit
There is no ‘i’ in Teams Although there is an ‘i’ in time And when I am in Teams I often feel like I am stuck in time Sometimes I’m literally frozen in time At least that is the impression I give to others I wish I were more like ‘i’ And not in Teams…
My Toddler Thinks I’m An Idiot
I think I’ve mentioned it before on this blog, but wife and I are attempting to bring our daughter up to be bilingual. This stems from our own love of languages – both of us have an undergraduate degree in French Studies. Indeed, that is how we met in the first place. Having said that,…
Job Satisfaction
Sunday morning joy Is all too soon replaced by Sunday evening dread
James Interrogates ‘The Science’
Like many people I’ve been slightly perplexed by the way the British government has handled the ongoing pandemic. It’s not that I fundamentally disagree with anything the government is doing. I would like to disagree, but while I lack any remote understanding of what they are doing, I’m not sure I can disagree. Because to…
James Explains The Easing Of Lockdown
There were one or two suggestions after my post on Tuesday that I was somehow advocating irresponsible drinking with large numbers of other people in the park. So, I should probably clarify that that is not in line with current government advice. Current government advice is that you can get drunk anywhere you like, as…
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow?
As is the case for most people, it has been a while since I had a haircut. Not that this is anything new, I’m more than a little familiar with the ‘unkempt’ look. It’s kind of my style really. Still, even by my standards I’m looking less kempt than usual. It doesn’t bother me, I…
As Per Our Policy…
There has to be a policy For people to be able to adhere to the policy But it’s a theoretical exercise And no-one reads the policy So no-one adheres to the policy But it’s important that they could if they wanted to For some reason Frankly it’s annoying when anyone actually does read the policy…
James Explains ‘Common Sense’
As lockdown restrictions ease in England, despite an apparent lack of clear guidance on…well anything much, the British government has made it clear, on multiple occasions that people should use their ‘Common Sense’. But what it this thing they call ‘Common Sense’? And do we all have it? Or is it a bit like ‘The…
Que Sera Sera
Having been largely dormant for much of 2019, my blog has enjoyed something of a resurgence of late. This may be a natural consequence of all that is going on in the world. Then again, although it is abundantly clear, even to an introvert like me, that social norms appear to have changed for most…
James Proclaims! 