An Urgent Appeal On Behalf Of The James Proclaims Foundation

At this difficult time, it is easy to forget those less fortunate than ourselves, but here at The James Proclaims Foundation, we refuse to abandon those who are in need of our support.

Over the last few months we have been working tirelessly to continue to provide essential services to people like ‘James’.

James is a 41-year-old man who desperately needs money to pay for things that many of us take for granted such as:

• A roof over his head
• Food for his family
• Subscriptions to various streaming services
• The slightly more expensive coffee in Waitrose
• Beer. Quite a lot of beer actually.
• Really cool trainers.

For the last couple of decades, in order to pay for these basic necessities, James has been forced to go out and earn money by having a moderately well-paid job. But, even though James is apparently ‘lucky’ insofar as he has a job which is relatively secure and unlikely to be at risk during the post-lockdown economic crisis, we, at The James Proclaims Foundation, feel that James should not have to work every day like a chump in order to have a decent cup of coffee or to get mildly inebriated when he is looking after his two-year-old daughter.

We think James deserves to live the life of one of those ‘celebrities’ who is essentially only famous for being related to someone else who is famous and who has never had to do a decent day’s work in their lives.

We know that if we could raise enough money, then someone like James could thrive as a brand ambassador for any number of companies that wanted to pay him for using their products or (to demonstrate his versatility) he would happily get intoxicated and behave badly in public in order to help generate some much-needed tabloid headlines.

But James currently does not have these opportunities and continues to work tirelessly in a job which only really remunerates him well enough to meet his mortgage payments, settle all of his bills on time and buy the nice coffee from Tesco. Which probably isn’t quite as nice as the nice coffee from Waitrose. Although maybe it is.

But you can help to change that. By donating just a small percentage of your income, you could help James to give up ‘having to go to work’ and help him to live a vacuous, meaningless existence in relative luxury.

We know you might not be able to give much, but really, every penny counts.

So please, give generously and help to make James’ dream of ‘contributing nothing of value to society’ a reality.