Month: February 2021

Come On Wales!

I am Welsh. Sort of. I was actually born in England, to an English mother and a sort of Indian father. My father was born in India, but moved to the UK when he was four years old. He grew up in England but moved to Wales when he was eighteen to go to university…

A Post That May Leave You Cold

These days I generally schedule my posts in advance, even the bad poetry, which means that I am guilty of committing those crimes against literature in cold blood. But this morning I woke up and realised I had no post scheduled. So this post is as close to a ‘live performance’ as I can get…

Free Verse That Is Quite Annoying

I’m likely to be annoyed today So I wrote this yesterday When I was only expecting to be annoyed And not yet actually annoyed Perhaps the annoying thing won’t be quite so annoying But it seems likely that it will be quite annoying So I thought I’d write this annoying post In anticipation of feeling…

Doing Precisely What We’ve Done 18 Times Before Is Exactly The Last Thing They’ll Expect Us To Do This Time

As I write this it is Monday morning, and we’ve yet to formally hear any details of Boris Johnson’s ‘roadmap’ to lifting lockdown. He’s going to speak later. But details have been leaked. And those details look suspiciously like the ‘roadmap’ out of lockdown 1. Is it unfair of me to compare our very real…

A Rapid Rhyme About Drinking Beer

Recently I fear I’ve been drinking too much beer Though it might be less risky Than consuming excess whisky It has often been my way To knock back an IPA I find you cannot fail With a decent pale ale Though I’d probably be fitter If I eased off on the bitter I know I…

A Poem That Is Intentionally Boring

This poem is quite boring This poem’s not interesting This poem is monotonous This poem is tedious This poem is repetitious This poem is repetitiousThis poem’s unimaginative This poem is repetitive This poem is repetitive This poem is unimaginative This poem is repetitious This poem is repetitiousThis poem is tedious This poem is monotonous This…

A Rapid Rhyme About Poor Lifestyle Choices For Which I’m Making The Current Pandemic A Scapegoat

Oh we’re still in lockdown three Yearning to be free But you won’t find me whinging Instead I’ve started binging Boxsets, booze and food Whatever takes my mood I’m looking quite a state I’m more than overweight But it’s hard to really care If I’m not going anywhere And since I’m staying here I’ll have…

Virtual Participation

The other day I had to attend a conference of sorts. It’s not a regular feature of my job but it happens once in a while. In normal times ‘attending’ would have meant driving or travelling by train for an hour or so, rolling up at a venue, enjoying some free coffee (and hopefully a…

I Want To Help You Daddy

The other day I was giving Little Proclaims a bath. I say ‘giving her a bath’, but these days my main function is to get the water to the right temperature and then hover in the background while she plays with her plastic ducks. It’s certainly not an unpleasant part of the evening but I…

A Recent ‘Conversation’ Between Me And My Two-Year-Old Daughter

“Daddeee! My welleeee!” “Oh no, has your welly come off? Well I’m driving at the moment but I’ll put it back on for you when I can stop.” “Dadddeeeeee!!! My welleeee! My welleeee!” “I know sweetheart but I can’t stop the car at the moment.” “My welleeee! My welleeee! My welleeeeeee!” “I’m really sorry darling,…

A Poem That Mainly Laments February

February is a short month Even when it’s long But if you think that brevity Makes it easier, you’re wrong February is still quite hard The weather is still cold And the days are still much shorter Than I’d like if truth be told Oh things improve toward the end Of February’s short stint Pay…