Tears Of A Clown

I didn’t think this through at all. I genuinely signed up for ‘Blogging 101’ to make this a better blog, but then I got all cocky and ‘clever’ and decided that, rather than discreetly following the tasks, I’d be all impudent and witty and openly mock the course like the class clown I always yearned…

Social Commentary

Day eight of blogging 101 and given my unhealthy need to write about each of the tasks rather than just getting on with them quietly like a good student, I absolutely cannot do today’s assignment. It is as follows: Leave comments on at least four blogs that you’ve never commented on before. I frequently do…

The One With Nothing In It

Welcome back to James Proclaims for another enthralling report about the travails of a novice blogger, who is trying to achieve blogging enlightenment through a series of prosaic tasks that are masquerading as some kind of insightful training. Yes it’s day seven of Blogging 101 and today’s thrilling task is: Create and upload a simple header,…

About A Blog

It’s week two of Blogging 101 and I have that ‘Monday Morning’ feeling, which is ironic for three reasons. One is that I’m posting this on Monday evening,  two,  I have vaguely disputed the notion of the ‘Monday Morning’ feeling, on a post that I wrote back when no-one was reading this blog, and three I…

An Infusiasm For Tea

Unlike me, my other half is not a coffee drinker. When I first met her, she mostly consumed diet cola, but she’s moved on from that phase and will now indulge in hot drinks like a proper adult. Most often in polite company, she’ll go for an English Breakfast tea without milk (she doesn’t ask…

A Tale Of Two Triangles

Until today I didn’t know what the word ‘taxonomy’ meant. Actually that probably isn’t especially surprising. It’s not a word in common usage. If you’re interested (and I’m less than certain that I am) the relevant dictionary definition is “a scheme of classification”. I looked it up because I was thinking about ‘Bloom’s Taxonomy’, which I…

Behold The Blog

Yesterday, after reading my post about who my ideal reader might be, my dearest wife looked at me with genuine sadness. “I don’t think I’m your ideal reader.” she sighed. Truthfully she didn’t really enjoy yesterday’s effort and struggled to hide it. I love the fact that she tried to like it though, indeed, given…

This One’s For You!

Day four of Blogging 101 and having used up all my naughty school kid metaphors yesterday, I’m going to buck up my ideas, knuckle down and do today’s assignment sensibly. It is: Publish a post you’d like your ideal audience member to read, and include a new-to-you element in it. Seems pretty straight forward. Except…

Plural Pursuivant

Day three of Blogging 101 and by now I’m the kid sitting at the back of the class, swinging on his chair and flicking bits of rubber at the other kids. The Blogging 101 teacher has called my parents to inform them that ‘I’m not reaching my full potential.’ My mum thinks it’s because I’m…

A Blog By Any Other Name

It is day two of my journey to blog perfection as I reinvent James Proclaims with the help of WordPress course Blogging 101. I’m now wondering if I may, in fact, have bitten off more than I can chew. There’s three weeks of this in total. I’m no expert, but if I just blog about blogging…

Just What Is It All About?

After yesterday’s lack of endeavour, I had really made an effort with today’s post. I was going to publish it this morning, but when I checked my emails I discovered that I’d signed up for a blogging course, run by WordPress, called Blogging 101. Part of the course is a daily assignment. I’ve shelved today’s…

Continuity Error

If I manage to write something today it will be my 15th post in 15 days, which isn’t bad going. On the other hand, I’m not certain I’m going to get chance to get to a computer today, or indeed have time to write anything. It’s quite a dilemma – I expect there’ll be a…

Je Me Fous Du Passé

I’m 36. I’m ok with that. Age is just a number really. You’re as old as you feel and all that. I spent most of my late teens and early twenties either drunk or with a hangover, so I’ve generally felt healthier since I arrived in my late twenties. I’m not exactly a changed man,…

Way Of The Sloth

Last night I did Kung Fu. It’s not unusual for me to do this on a Thursday night. It’s when the class is. I say I did Kung Fu, the instructor may disagree with my assertion that what I did last night was Kung Fu. He may, in fact, suggest that what I was doing…

Nee Naw

Sometimes I find it difficult to motivate myself to do anything. It’s not depression or anything like that. It’s just hard to inspire yourself when you’ve already achieved everything you ever wanted to… Well maybe not everything, I still have ambitions, but anything that happens from now on will always pale into insignificance now that…

Baking Bad

As I’ve stated previously, I enjoy a coffee on my way into to work of a morning. I’ve also shared the fact that I enjoy breakfast. Sometimes I combine these two pleasures and purchase both at the same outlet. I’m quite astute like that. One of these outlets has a proprietor who reminds me quite…

Guitar Hero

My imitation Fender Stratocaster only has five strings. The ‘high’ E snapped about five years ago and I haven’t bothered to replace it. It’s also out of tune. I’ve had it since I was fifteen, which is now a scarily long time ago. Back when I was in secondary school I was briefly in a band.…

The Puddle Polemic

Although I can drive, I tend, for the most part, to be a pedestrian. Currently I can walk to work and l live close to most of the amenities I need. I like walking places. It gives me an opportunity to reflect on the world around me and on life in general. Plus it’s good…

Superfluous Spice

My other half occasionally claims to be a vegetarian. She knows that she isn’t really, she’s actually a pescetarian but people find it easier to understand vegetarian. For some reason it’s more difficult to accept someone not eating meat if the person in question is perfectly happy to eat fish. Not that my beloved explains her motivations particularly…

The Goblet of Football

This post is about football, so it would be remiss not mention yesterday’s Fifa election, which Sepp Blatter, won, essentially unopposed. Again.  This despite much public outcry and allegations of corruption. This is the world governing body of a sport is it not? Because it felt a bit like he had held onto power in…

Parlons de la Voiture

I drive a 2007 silver Ford Ka. It is not the coolest car in the world. Still I quite like it. I live in Reading after all, a town that is perennially beset with traffic problems, so even if I owned a Ferrari, I’d be stuck in the same slow-moving one-way system. Plus I couldn’t…

Of Retail and Robins

The walk to my local supermarket is eminently pleasant. It’s a twenty minute stroll through charming green parkland, alongside a canal, complete with lock and canal boats, and at one point a dramatic river crossing, which incorporates a stunning vista of the Thames in all its glory. It makes me feel a little guilty that…

Coffee-Counter Culture

I’ve always been more of a coffee drinker than a tea drinker, which perhaps defies the British stereotype. It’s not uncommon though, and truthfully I’m not anti-tea or anything; I like tea too, I just prefer coffee. I’ve drunk coffee for as long as I can recall; certainly my habit began in primary school. If…

Buffet Bliss

If you ask me what my favourite food is, on any given day I would probably give you a different answer. It’s really down to what mood I’m in at that particular moment. I’m not really that discerning. The French would definitely not describe me as a gourmet (dictionary definition – a person who cultivates…

Livid Leprechaun

Reading’s local rugby team is called London Irish. It’s a strange name for a team that is evidently not based in London, and has limited links to Ireland. Historically it had both of those things going for it, originally being set up as a club for Irish people who were living in London.  The name…

Glorious Gluttony

I went to the pub last night. I didn’t drink that much, but I ended up being a tiny bit drunk. Certainly I was drunk enough that when I went to the chip shop on the way home I bought a significantly larger amount of food than I would have had I not been imbibing…

Un-SUIT-able

I only have one suit. It’s a really nice suit though. I got married in it, so I really pushed the boat out and had it tailor-made. It is literally the most expensive thing I own apart from my house. Since getting married in it I have worn it to numerous weddings, funerals, christenings and…

Angry Artists

There’s this belief that anger and adversity produces the best art. I’m not certain who actually believes it, but it does seem to be a truism of sorts that is rarely challenged. I have never achieved success in any of the arts apart from coming second in a short story competition of some repute when…

Sunday Sorrows

When the Antique Roadshow theme song blasts out of my television I feel sick to my stomach. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against the programme. I don’t actually watch it with any regularity but if I do, it’s because I’m procrastinating in front  of the television rather than doing something more useful. But…

Mug Mugging

This is no ordinary ceramic mug; this is a mug that I purchased from the Manchester Museum gift shop in November 2006. “Big Deal!” I hear you cry. Anyone could buy a mug from the Manchester Museum gift shop. Well anyone who pays a visit to the Manchester Museum could anyway. True enough and certainly…