As I write this I’m still enjoying a Christmas Day which has predominantly seen me sitting around in a festive onesie, drinking too much beer and eating too much festive food. But lest you accuse me of slothfulness, rest assured that I did cook the vast majority of the festive food, which was not without…
Tag: Christmas
The Eighth Annual Christmas Message from James Proclaims
I’m wearing a onesie festooned with images of Christmas trees and reindeer. I’m a tad more inebriated than would be the norm mid-afternoon. The oven is full of delicious (and expensive) things roasting and coated in an elaborate range of herbs and condiments. And we’re halfway through our second tub of chocolates in as many…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 24
It’s Christmas Eve again, and therefore time once more to bring an end to my annual Christmas Countdown of films that are a bit Christmas(ish). You’d imagine that after six years of this pointless lunacy that I would finally have fun out of movies but, alas, I already have another 24 lined up for next…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 23
2019’s Jumanji: The Next Level is the sequel to 2017’s Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, which is, in itself, both a reboot and sequel of sorts to the original Jumanji. It may help to have seen the previous Jumanji movies to enjoy the 2019 offering, but it’s not really necessary. The Jumanji movies know who…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 22
2020’s Wonder Woman 1984 may not be as good as 2017’s Wonder Woman but it’s by no means the worst entry in the DC Extended Universe. Which may be faint praise, given some of the abominations that have been churned out under the umbrella of that particular franchise. But Wonder Woman was a great movie…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 21
Compared to the largely coherent Marvel Cinematic Universe, the DC Extended Universe has always seemed a bit shambolic and rushed. Which isn’t to say there haven’t been some good movies to come out of the project. My Christmas Eve entry for the 2019 iteration my advent calendar was the rather excellent Shazam, which is technically…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 20
It’s pretty much accepted wisdom that every even numbered Star Trek movie is good and every odd numbered Star Trek movie is bad. It’s not actually true anymore, though it is a little more true when you only consider the movies starring the cast from the original series. I still think that’s both a little…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 19
The original 1972 version of The Poseidon Adventure is infinitely better than the 2006 ‘reimagining’ of the story. It is still, fundamentally, a popcorn disaster movie, that requires a certain amount of suspended disbelief, and clearly the special effects are no match for the remake, but the advantage the original has over the subsequent version…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 6
Of all the movies in the Rocky franchise, Rocky III is probably my third favourite. It’s hard to beat the original Rocky which is just a great film, while it’s also impossible to ignore the iconic status of Rocky IV, objectively bad though it may be. Rocky III definitely paves the way for the bombastic…
A Rapid Rhyme That Claims (Somewhat Unconvincingly) Not To Be About Christmas
This poem is not about Christmas So please don’t mistake it for that I’m already back into ‘work mode’ And considering being less fat No I’m not even thinking of Christmas As I write these words on the page I don’t have a craving for turkey And stuffing of onion and sage Christmas is but…
Yet Another Rapid Rhyme About The Denouement Of Christmas
Back to work after Christmas break It’s all downhill from here Can’t dress in festive loungewear Can’t start the day with a beer My suit is now a little tight And I really can’t think why Perhaps I’ll mull it over While I eat one last mince pie It seems unfair to be back at…
Another Rapid Rhyme About The Denouement Of Christmas
So we’ve reached the end of Christmas (Well we’re there or thereabouts) And somehow I’ve survived Though at times I had my doubts But as the festive feasting Is replaced by brutal workouts I’m still left to ponder Why did I buy so many sprouts?
A Rapid Rhyme About The Denouement Of Christmas
Epiphany is still yet days away The fridge contains leftover roast But it’s clear that the holiday’s over Christmas Spirit has given up the ghost I’m not quite prepared to eschew The remaining Christmas delights But I need to get back to normality And have a few earlier nights So today the tree must come…
A Limerick That Mistakenly Blames A General Sense Of Discontentment On An Abstract Measure Of Time
Can it still be 2021? It’s almost but not quite yet done ‘Twas no 2020 But still I’ve had plenty And I hope that next year is more fun
Free Verse About The True Meaning Of Christmas
As I get older I’m not sure I get wiser But sometimes my perspective can shift And views I once held Now seem as alien to me As an actual alien might seem If aliens existedAnd I were to meet one of them My perspective on Christmas Has certainly changed Many times over the years…
A Rapid Rhyme About Overindulgence Between Christmas And New Year
Though Christmas is over It still lingers on There remain treats aplenty To feast upon I’m not sure I can stop With so much to choose And when I get thirsty There’s no shortage of booze Balance can be found With the occassional sprout Which I’m sure will allay The onset of gout. New Year…
Bonus Boxing Day
Yesterday was Boxing Day, but today is also Boxing Day. Although perhaps there is no such thing as Boxing Day. It depends on where you are in the world I suppose. I don’t think Boxing Day shares the same international reknown as Christmas Day. And my blog, insofar as it has a readership (which is…
An Etymologically Dubious Poem About Boxing Day
The day after Christmas Is called Boxing Day Although quite why it’s called this I just couldn’t say But perhaps after a day With excited offspring We need to let off some steam And step into the ring After all that excess It’s a nice change of pace To put on some gloves And punch…
The Seventh Annual Christmas Message from James Proclaims
And so this is ChristmasAnd what have you done?Probably not very muchA new variant’s just begun. Yes it’s another Covid Christmas. I’m all for Christmas traditions, but I’m not sure I’m a massive fan of this one. Still, it’s not like I had huge plans this year. I was always intending to stay at home…
The Fifth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 21
The 1991 incarnation of The Adams Family was my introduction to that creepiest and kookiest of families. Indeed, although I’m sure I saw the 1993 sequel, Adams Family Values, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen any other iteration of the franchise. Which is strange, because I really loved this movie when it came out. I’m…
A Haiku About Lessons That Can Be Learned From Father Christmas To Help Ease The January Blues
Christmas is over But like Santa I’ll remain Jolly and quite fat
On The Ninth Day Of Christmas…
On the ninth day of Christmas My true love gave to me A reality check, “Christmas is over Now take down the bloody tree!”
Another Twixmas Poem
The Christmas presents have long been unwrapped And the tree has seen better days But still the Twixmas party goes onThough it all seems a bit of a haze I’m not even sure what day it is Or when I last left this room I’ve eaten my own weight in chocolate But there are more…
A Tanka About The Perks Of Responsible Parenting
When my daughter asks For another chocolate I always say no Because like all good parents I’ve already scoffed the lot
A Twixmas Poem
Christmas Day is over But it Christmas isn’t gone Because the house is full of festive food So the party must go on I really must stop eating But there’s so much left to eat And chocolate’s now a staple It’s no longer just a treat I’m concerned that it’s not healthy And I’ve gained…
James Complains About Christmas Greetings
And so we enter that surreal period of the calendar, known to me (and possibly to some other people) as Twixmas, when Christmas is sort of over, but it isn’t really over because we still have New Year’s Eve to ‘look forward to’. If I’m honest I’ve never been a big celebrator of New Year…
Thinking Outside Of The Boxing Day
While I always like to write a Christmas Day post, I don’t always bother on Boxing Day. There are only so many times you can make jokes about festive pugilism after all. Still, I find myself with a few moments to kill today, as my daughter is enjoying her afternoon nap and my wife, who…
The Sixth Annual Christmas Message from James Proclaims
Merry Christmas! Sorry, my mistake. I forgot that Christmas had been cancelled this year. Being an established misanthrope I would have no doubt chosen to spend today with my wife and child and absolutely no-one else, regardless of any pandemics, so here at Proclaims Towers it really is starting to look a lot like Christmas.…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 24
And so another pointless Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films reaches it’s conclusion. Because it’s Christmas Eve and that’s how these things work. But what it the cinematic offering behind door 24 of The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films? Why, it’s only 1987’s The Princess Bride. Which came out when I was eight…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 22
Back in 2017, when I first started doing The James Proclaims Advent Calendar Of Christmas(ish) Films I included Rocky IV in the line-up. Because it is a bit Christmassy, albeit one of the weaker entries in the Rocky franchise. It is something of an oversight then, that I managed not to include the original 1976…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 15
There was something of a furore back in 2000 when Rene Zellweger was announced as the choice to take on the eponymous lead in the cinematic adaptation of the bestselling Bridget Jones’s Diary. How could an American play such a quintessentially iconic British character? I was not, personally, bothered by Zellweger’s casting because I had absolutely no…
James Proclaims! 