Christmas is over But like Santa I’ll remain Jolly and quite fat
Tag: Christmas
On The Ninth Day Of Christmas…
On the ninth day of Christmas My true love gave to me A reality check, “Christmas is over Now take down the bloody tree!”
Another Twixmas Poem
The Christmas presents have long been unwrapped And the tree has seen better days But still the Twixmas party goes onThough it all seems a bit of a haze I’m not even sure what day it is Or when I last left this room I’ve eaten my own weight in chocolate But there are more…
A Tanka About The Perks Of Responsible Parenting
When my daughter asks For another chocolate I always say no Because like all good parents I’ve already scoffed the lot
A Twixmas Poem
Christmas Day is over But it Christmas isn’t gone Because the house is full of festive food So the party must go on I really must stop eating But there’s so much left to eat And chocolate’s now a staple It’s no longer just a treat I’m concerned that it’s not healthy And I’ve gained…
James Complains About Christmas Greetings
And so we enter that surreal period of the calendar, known to me (and possibly to some other people) as Twixmas, when Christmas is sort of over, but it isn’t really over because we still have New Year’s Eve to ‘look forward to’. If I’m honest I’ve never been a big celebrator of New Year…
Thinking Outside Of The Boxing Day
While I always like to write a Christmas Day post, I don’t always bother on Boxing Day. There are only so many times you can make jokes about festive pugilism after all. Still, I find myself with a few moments to kill today, as my daughter is enjoying her afternoon nap and my wife, who…
The Sixth Annual Christmas Message from James Proclaims
Merry Christmas! Sorry, my mistake. I forgot that Christmas had been cancelled this year. Being an established misanthrope I would have no doubt chosen to spend today with my wife and child and absolutely no-one else, regardless of any pandemics, so here at Proclaims Towers it really is starting to look a lot like Christmas.…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 24
And so another pointless Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films reaches it’s conclusion. Because it’s Christmas Eve and that’s how these things work. But what it the cinematic offering behind door 24 of The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films? Why, it’s only 1987’s The Princess Bride. Which came out when I was eight…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 22
Back in 2017, when I first started doing The James Proclaims Advent Calendar Of Christmas(ish) Films I included Rocky IV in the line-up. Because it is a bit Christmassy, albeit one of the weaker entries in the Rocky franchise. It is something of an oversight then, that I managed not to include the original 1976…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 15
There was something of a furore back in 2000 when Rene Zellweger was announced as the choice to take on the eponymous lead in the cinematic adaptation of the bestselling Bridget Jones’s Diary. How could an American play such a quintessentially iconic British character? I was not, personally, bothered by Zellweger’s casting because I had absolutely no…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 14
It’s probably fair to say that 2004’s Mean Girls was not really aimed at me. It is, perhaps lazily, oft-referred to a ‘teen comedy’. I was not a teenager when it came out, though I was considerably closer to being a teenager back then, than when I actually saw the film for the first time.…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 13
2016’s Deadpool is technically Ryan Reynolds’ second big screen outing as the eponymous antihero. The less said about the first incarnation in 2009’s X-Men Origins: Wolverine the better. It was not well-received. Which is a shame because on the evidence of the 2016 movie and its 2018 sequel, Reynolds was born to play Deadpool. Fortunately, as…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 12
1985’s Young Sherlock Holmes could, and possibly should, have been a beloved classic from my childhood. It ticks a lot of the boxes of the kind of light-hearted adventure film that would definitely have appealed to me in my pre-teen years. But it seems to have passed me by. Which is perhaps no bad thing with…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 11
Time for Door 11 of The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films and in honour of the date we’re going to ‘turn it up to 11’. Because today’s entry is the 1984 ‘rockumentary’ known as This is Spinal Tap, a poignant and compelling insight into the trials and tribulations of a touring rock band. Or,…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 10
1995’s Jumanji is an interesting concept (interesting enough to spawn spin offs and reboots in more recent times) but the movie itself feels a bit generic. Perhaps the special effects were good at the time, but they feel a little dated now. Not a great deal happens in the way of character development. The demonic titular board…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 9
1998’s The Waterboy is the kind of juvenile comedy you tend to associate with Adam Sandler. Which is maybe unfair to Adam Sandler because he has, in his time, been in some good films. But he’s also done a lot of this kind of thing. When The Waterboy came out I would’ve been 19. I quite liked…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 8
As with most Wes Anderson films, I didn’t really like 2009’s Fantastic Mr Fox when I first saw it, but I have come to appreciate it more with subsequent viewings. Still, while it often takes multiple viewings for me to ‘get’ most of Wes Anderson’s output, I generally don’t hate them initially with the level of vitriol…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 7
I was a pretty big fan of Kevin Smith movies in the nineties, but I haven’t really kept up to speed with much of his output in the last twenty years. I’m not sure why. I loved 1994’s Clerks and I’m nostalgically fond enough of 1995’s Mallrats (although it obviously isn’t as good as Clerks) to have continued…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 6
Door 6 of The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films and maybe it’s time to sort out that Christmas shopping. We could head to the mall. Except we don’t tend to call them that in the UK. I think we’d be more likely to refer to them as Shopping Centres. And we…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 5
Door 5 of The Third Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films and perhaps it’s time to take it easy. Maybe kick back and relax in a hot tub. But don’t drink any Russian energy drinks while you’re in there or you may end up travelling back in time to the eighties. And if none…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 4
The Office is one of my favourite TV shows of all time. I actually like all versions of it that I’ve seen. I loved the US incarnation, which evolved from being a rehash of the UK original in series 1 to establishing its own identity and thriving for multiple seasons thereafter. I liked the French edition,…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 3
Door 3 of The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films and we’re off to a magical land. Narnia to be precise. Today’s film of choice is 2005’s The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, which is far too long a title. It’s based on the novel entitled The Lion,…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 2
Door 2 of The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films brings us Martin Scorsese’s 1990 masterpiece GoodFellas. It would be foolish for a hack like me to try and offer any critical insight into a film as universally acclaimed as this one, but it truly is extraordinary. Although probably one to avoid…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 1
As if by magic December 2020 is upon us. And so must begin, whether anyone wants it to or not, The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films. And to kick off this year’s festive countdown of films, is a movie that really highlights the difference between the worldviews of children and adults.…
The Fourth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Preamble
As November 2020 draws to a close, it’s fair to say that even by the pretty low standards normally set by the eleventh month of the year, it has not been an especially enjoyable 30 days. This may well be in keeping with 2020 as a whole, which has largely been a year of fear,…
A Rambling Post About Some Stuff And Also Some Other Stuff
Hello people who read this blog. I hope you are well. I’m writing this on Sunday evening, although this post, if I finish it, will not hit the blogosphere until Monday morning. Probably at 5am, as that seems to be the fairly arbitrary time I generally elect to schedule my posts to appear. I used…
Xmas Epilogue or Yuletide Eulogy
Today is January 6th and by any definition Christmas is now over. Except for all the masses of chocolate, wine and beer that appear to be in plentiful supply chez moi. This surplus is partly due to the fact that I was, for much of the festive period, quite unwell and indeed on medication, so…
Hoping For A Twixmas Miracle
As we’re roughly in the midpoint of that weird period between Christmas and New Year, known to some as Twixmas (and this is not because the only chocolates left in the mostly-eaten tub of Celebrations at this point are the rubbish Twix ones), I thought I’d take some time to reflect on the festive period…
The Fifth Annual Christmas Message from James Proclaims
Merry Christmas! Yes it’s the big day once again and everyone everywhere is making merry! Except for those that aren’t. Which is probably quite a few people. But let’s not trouble our consciences thinking of those less fortunate than ourselves. It’s Christmas for goodness sake! If ever there was a day for reckless self-indulgence then…
The Third Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 24
And so The Third Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films comes to an end. But what film could be lurking behind door 24? Why it’s only the utterly brilliant 2019 superhero movie Shazam!. When it comes to superheroes on the silver screen, there’s no denying that Marvel/Disney have had considerably more success in recent…
