2018’s biopic of Dick Cheney, Vice, is an interesting movie. I’m not sure if it’s a good movie, although it undeniably has some incredible performances from the actors and possibly the most talented hair and make up team in the world. You can still recognize Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Sam Rockwell and Steve Carell, but…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 7
2013’s About Time has all the hallmarks of a Richard Curtis film, and that is almost certainly because it is a Richard Curtis film. Which is both a good thing and a bad thing in equal measure. Curtis can be relied upon to inject his movies with plenty of humour and there is no doubt…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 6
Of all the movies in the Rocky franchise, Rocky III is probably my third favourite. It’s hard to beat the original Rocky which is just a great film, while it’s also impossible to ignore the iconic status of Rocky IV, objectively bad though it may be. Rocky III definitely paves the way for the bombastic…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 5
Despite the fact that Arthurian legend seems to be the perfect source material for a Hollywood epic, there really aren’t too many King Arthur movies that spring to mind. At least not good ones. And much as I love Monty Python and The Holy Grail, it is a damning indictment of the general failure to…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 4
Orson Welles’ 1941 masterpiece Citizen Kane is oft described as the greatest movie ever made. I can only assume that the people making that claim have never seen Star Wars but I will concede, that even without a lightsaber in sight for the near 2-hour running time, Citizen Kane is a remarkable achievement. I’m hardly…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 3
1996’s 101 Dalmatians is technically the second ‘live action’ remake of an earlier animated feature if you consider 1994’s The Jungle Book to be the original. Although that movie bears very little resemblance to the 1967 cartoon classic and Disney did do another live action version of The Jungle Book in 2016 that is far…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 2
2019’s ‘live action’ update of Disney’s Lady and the Tramp doesn’t have any offensive racial caricatures masquerading as cats, which is a notable improvement, but otherwise it’s generally inferior to the original. That is pretty much the case with all the Disney ‘live action’ remakes. So failing to live up to the original animated classic…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 1
2010’s The Kings Speech picked up its fair share of awards, not least Best Picture and Best Actor in a Leading Role at the 2011 Academy awards. So it’s reasonable to say that it’s a pretty good movie. Indeed any movie that can boast Michael Gambon, Guy Pearce, Dereck Jacobi, Jennifer Ehle and Timothy Spall…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Preamble
For much of 2022 I have been absent from this blog. This has predominantly been due to the fact that I became a dad for the second time in April and I have spent most of this year feeling pretty tired. It turns out that having two children is a bit more work than having…
A Post That Is Not Not About Being A Dad
It’s the afternoon of Saturday 25th June 2022, as I sit down to write this, and thus attempt to mark the end of a three month sabbatical from blogging. As with many of my previous absences, I had not intended to be away for quite so long but once I lapse into a state of…
James Complains About A Lamentable Trip To A Supermarket
It’s been a while since last I blogged and in that time the world has gone from being predominantly concerned with a pandemic to being predominantly concerned with a war. This is hardly an improvement all things considered. Indeed so horrendous is the current status quo, that I need to acknowledge, from the outset, that…
A Cheesy Post About The Dangers Of Homophones
As January comes to an end, much to the relief, no doubt, of people who like to blame arbitrary measures of time for all the ills in the world, I am given pause to reflect on how little I would have achieved had I made any New Year Resolutions. Fortunately I did not, so any…
A Post That Is And Also Isn’t
I appear to have unintentionally had another hiatus on my blog. Having posted daily throughout November and December, I started January in a similar vein, but, as has oft been my way, once I missed a day, I just stopped entirely. I seem to be very much a boom or bust blogger. It’s not like…
Free Verse About The Value Of Money
I tried explaining That money isn’t everything That it can’t buy you happiness That it can’t buy you love That it is, in fact The root of all evil That, as much as I might try I can’t put my money Where my mouth is Because my mouth is already there And money makes a…
A Post About That Is Partly About Phones And Partly About The Imagination Of A Small Child
It’s Sunday evening as I write this and thus the end of the first weekend after the post-Christmas return to work. It was not a vintage weekend – it started with a broken phone. A few years back a broken phone meant very little to me – I even once blogged about how little inconvenience…
Free Verse About Policies
It’s an old adage That honesty is the best policy But one doesn’t often find honesty In many policies One may find statements With synonyms of honestyAmbitions of honesty And a general sense of honestyWithin the document But by and large When contrasting Policy and practice The policy will Generally be found To be dishonest…
Free Verse About Pandemics
It turns out That pandemics are not just about Highly infectious diseases They are also about Competency Logistics And cooperation Either exemplary Or a lack thereof And they are about values Sometimes shared Often not And about divisions in society Some previously unseen Others exacerbated And as they go on And on And on They…
Free Verse About An Early Morning Run In January
In the early hours of A crisp January morning I went for a run My way was initially lit By street lamps Whose reflections sparkled Like glitter In the ground frost belowBut as I hit the banks of the Thames The darkness was punctuatedOnly by the stars above me Shining brightly in the clear winter…
Flash Fiction About The Perils Of Time Travel
Damien awoke with a start to discover another person in his bedroom. At first he thought he was dreaming as the other person, though considerably older and dressed in an outlandish pink suit, looked alarmingly like…well… like Damien. “Hello,” said Damien, who in spite of this clear intrusion of his personal space, was never one…
A Rapid Rhyme That Claims (Somewhat Unconvincingly) Not To Be About Christmas
This poem is not about Christmas So please don’t mistake it for that I’m already back into ‘work mode’ And considering being less fat No I’m not even thinking of Christmas As I write these words on the page I don’t have a craving for turkey And stuffing of onion and sage Christmas is but…
Yet Another Rapid Rhyme About The Denouement Of Christmas
Back to work after Christmas break It’s all downhill from here Can’t dress in festive loungewear Can’t start the day with a beer My suit is now a little tight And I really can’t think why Perhaps I’ll mull it over While I eat one last mince pie It seems unfair to be back at…
Another Rapid Rhyme About The Denouement Of Christmas
So we’ve reached the end of Christmas (Well we’re there or thereabouts) And somehow I’ve survived Though at times I had my doubts But as the festive feasting Is replaced by brutal workouts I’m still left to ponder Why did I buy so many sprouts?
A Rapid Rhyme About The Denouement Of Christmas
Epiphany is still yet days away The fridge contains leftover roast But it’s clear that the holiday’s over Christmas Spirit has given up the ghost I’m not quite prepared to eschew The remaining Christmas delights But I need to get back to normality And have a few earlier nights So today the tree must come…
A Resolutionary Vision
It’s New Year’s Day and thus time to lift myself out of the pit of Christmas excess and make some empty promises about how much better I’m going to be moving forwards. I like to make such annual pledges in the form of a blog post, so that I have a record to look back…
The Formulaic James Proclaims New Year’s Eve Review Of The Year That Was
It’s New Years Eve and tradition dictates that I must review the year gone by for fear that no-one else will think to do it and the year would end unreviewed. Which would be a disaster. This year, the year that will be being reviewed is 2021. The best thing about 2021 was that it…
A Limerick That Mistakenly Blames A General Sense Of Discontentment On An Abstract Measure Of Time
Can it still be 2021? It’s almost but not quite yet done ‘Twas no 2020 But still I’ve had plenty And I hope that next year is more fun
Free Verse About The True Meaning Of Christmas
As I get older I’m not sure I get wiser But sometimes my perspective can shift And views I once held Now seem as alien to me As an actual alien might seem If aliens existedAnd I were to meet one of them My perspective on Christmas Has certainly changed Many times over the years…
A Rapid Rhyme About Overindulgence Between Christmas And New Year
Though Christmas is over It still lingers on There remain treats aplenty To feast upon I’m not sure I can stop With so much to choose And when I get thirsty There’s no shortage of booze Balance can be found With the occassional sprout Which I’m sure will allay The onset of gout. New Year…
Bonus Boxing Day
Yesterday was Boxing Day, but today is also Boxing Day. Although perhaps there is no such thing as Boxing Day. It depends on where you are in the world I suppose. I don’t think Boxing Day shares the same international reknown as Christmas Day. And my blog, insofar as it has a readership (which is…
An Etymologically Dubious Poem About Boxing Day
The day after Christmas Is called Boxing Day Although quite why it’s called this I just couldn’t say But perhaps after a day With excited offspring We need to let off some steam And step into the ring After all that excess It’s a nice change of pace To put on some gloves And punch…
The Seventh Annual Christmas Message from James Proclaims
And so this is ChristmasAnd what have you done?Probably not very muchA new variant’s just begun. Yes it’s another Covid Christmas. I’m all for Christmas traditions, but I’m not sure I’m a massive fan of this one. Still, it’s not like I had huge plans this year. I was always intending to stay at home…
James Proclaims! 