Well here we are again. The end of another year. A time, if ever there was one, for reflection. Which is something I like to do here on James Proclaims. Now, I’m aware I won’t be the only person doing this today but, lest we forget, I also did it at the end of 2015…
Month: December 2017
Impractical But Delightful
I have marshmallow on my face Which is a mild disgrace Though it’s certainly not egg Your understanding I do beg For indeed they are a treat But Walnut Whips are hard to eat
Truffle Tribulations
Oh expensive box of chocolates I don’t know what to do You’re so very pricey I don’t think I should eat you I’m not sure that I’m worthy To enjoy your fancy flavours I’m not sophisticated I won’t take the time to savour The subtle combinations Is that ginger I can taste? I’m afraid the…
Christmas Comedown
I don’t know what I’m watching On my television I didn’t choose the channel That wasn’t my decision It was already chosen When I switched on the screen To change it seems an effort And for that I’ll need caffeine Cos I’m feeling rather tender I’m really not sure why Perhaps I’ve overdone it On…
The Magic Of Twixmas
Though Christmas is over Remain in good cheer For there’s plenty of food To see us through to New Year There are chocolates aplenty A variety of cake There are mince pies and stollen (That I didn’t bake) So much leftover turkey Of that there’s no doubt (But alas linger on Some uneaten sprouts) There…
Boxing Day Bargains
Today is Boxing Day, a day which means different things to different people. To some it’s a day to recover from the excesses of Christmas Day, in preparation for a return to work on the 27th December. For others it’s an opportunity to continue with the excesses because, as it turns out, they don’t actually…
The Third Annual Christmas Message from James Proclaims
If you’re reading this at the exact moment it was published, then you’re not watching the Queen’s speech live. Because, as is now James Proclaims Christmas tradition, I’ve scheduled this post to appear at the exact same moment that our head of state makes her annual address to the nation. I know HRH won’t be…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 24
It’s Christmas Eve, which is the day before Christmas Day and therefore the day on which one should open the final door of a standard Advent Calendar. And The James Proclaims Advent Calendar Of Christmas(ish) Films is no exception to that rule, and so today we must bid adieu to my Christmas Countdown of festive…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 23
As we open door 23 of The James Proclaims Advent Calendar Of Christmas(ish) films it’s definitely time to get in the party mood and what better film to emphasise that spirit than 1985’s Brazil? Conjuring up images of carnivals, samba and beaches, Brazil is…erm…nothing to do with any of that. Described by star Jonathan Pryce…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 22
Door 22 of The James Proclaims Advent Calendar Of Christmas(ish) Films and we’re almost at the end. By which I mean the end of the Advent Calendar, not the ‘End of Days’. But today’s film does have an apocalyptic feel to it nonetheless. For it is none other than Terry Gilliam’s 1995 noirish, sci-fi, time-travel…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 21
Door 21 of The James Proclaims Advent Calendar Of Christmas(ish) Films and conspiracy theories abound as Will Smith unexpectedly finds himself to be an Enemy Of The State. Cos it turns out that, apparently, the National Security Agency don’t like not getting their own way, and will happily murder people who don’t agree with them.…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 20
We’re finally into the twenties of December and Christmas is starting to feel very imminent indeed. Today is the last day I’ll do any work for the remainder of 2017. To be honest, I deserve a rest. It’s been a tough few months all told. Maybe I’ll treat myself to a mini-break. I’ve heard good…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 19
It’s day 19 of the James Proclaims Advent Calendar Of Christmas(ish) Films. Days 17 and 18 featured Eyes Wide Shut and Prometheus and both of those films required us to use our intellects. So today I think we could all do with a rest. We could do without the burden of thinking. It would…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 18
It’s the 18th December! Only a week to go until the big day! It’s also time for door 18 of The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films and today we’re going all sci-fi with Ridley Scott’s Alien ‘sort-of prequel’ Prometheus. It’s an Alien film without any ‘Aliens’ in it. I mean there are aliens,…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 17
Day 17 of the month that is commonly known as December and we’re onto the 17th movie in The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films. So far in this compendium of Christmas cinema we really haven’t had to engage our brains an awful lot. But that isn’t going to work today. Today we’re going…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 16
Door 16 of The James Proclaims Advent Calendar Of Christmas(ish) films brings us a movie that is, in many ways, a certified comedy classic. It’s also something of a conundrum. 1983’s Trading Places has, in Eddie Murphy and Dan Aykroyd, two of eighties cinema’s finest comedic talents at the top of their game. On paper,…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 15
It’s time for door 15 of The James Proclaims Advent Calendar Of Christmas(ish) FIlms and what better place to start the weekend than In Bruges? After all “it’s a fairytale town isn’t it?” Hitmen Ray and Ken (Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson respectively) find themselves hiding out there at the behest of mob boss Harry…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 14
By the time 2002’s Die Another Day hit our screens, signalling the decline of a certain British spy with the initials JB (or at least Pierce Brosnan’s portrayal of him), we had already been introduced to an American undercover agent with the same initials and the heralding of a new kind of action film The…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 13
Welcome back to The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) films. Today we must tread with caution as creeping out from behind door 13 are several seemingly cute and harmless furry creatures. But feed them after midnight they become a lot less cute. They become Gremlins. Gremlins is a veritable 80s classic. I loved it…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 12
12 days into December and as luck would have it, we happen upon door 12 of The James Proclaims Advent Calendar Of Christmas(ish) Films. And it’s about time that a namesake of mine turned up His name’s Bond. James Bond. There have been 24 official Bond films made (and a few unofficial ones too),…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 11
It’s day 11 of the James Proclaims Advent Calendar Of Christmas(ish) films and it’s time to be done, once and for all, with Shane Black. Don’t get me wrong, the man is pretty much peerless when it comes to making films that are are ‘not-really-Christmas-films-but-a-bit-Christmassy-nonetheless’. But if he’s going to include a Christmas element in…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 10
Day 10 of the James Proclaims Advent Calendar Of Christmas(ish) films brings us The Ice Harvest. Starring John Cusack, Billy Bob Thornton and Connie Nielsen, and directed by Harold Ramis, it’s a Christmas-themed comic crime caper, with twists and turns galore. Or so it first appears. On paper it looks like it could be an…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 9
Here we are at door 9 of the James Proclaims Advent Calendar Of Christmas(ish) films, and it’s about time Bruce Willis popped up. Yes it’s no other than the most Christmas(ish) of all the action films…. …The Last Boy Scout Sorry, were you expecting something else? Is there a more Christmas(ish) Bruce Willis flick than…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 8
Hello and welcome to day 8 of The James Proclaims Advent Calendar Of Christmas(ish) films. And door 8 invites us to cast our memories back to 1996, to a film in which Geena Davies has lost her memories – for our film today is none other than The Long Kiss Goodnight. And wouldn’t you…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 7
Behind door 7 of The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films we find the neo-noir crime masterpiece that is LA Confidential. Released in 1997, it’s hard to believe this movie is twenty years old. There’s a genuinely timeless air about it, perhaps partially because of the 1950s setting, but more so because of…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 6
The other day I was strolling past a nice(ish) hotel and I saw Father Christmas. He seemed to be promoting some kind of Christmas event that was being hosted within the establishment. He was not alone in doing so, for he was accompanied by a woman that I supposed to be his good lady wife…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 5
It’s day 5 of December, so it’s no coincidence that we’re opening door 5 of The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) films. And out of the shadows comes the ‘spooktacular’ Ghostbusters 2. Which is the sequel to the original 1984 Ghostbusters and not the 2016 reboot. Ghostbusters (1984 version) is one of my…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 4
So far, the Christmas(ish) movies featured have been very much of the action genre. They’ve also been largely attributable to writer/director Shane Black. He’ll be back a couple more times before this journey is over, but door 4’s Christmas(ish) film is not one of his. It is violent though. Really violent. For it is none…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 3
Another day, another Christmas(ish) film. But just what is behind door number 3? Goodness me, it’s Lethal Weapon. Which is, surprisingly enough, another Shane Black film. Although he’s not the director this time, but he did write the script. Richard Donner was the man in the director’s chair (he also directed Superman the Movie and The…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 2
It’s time for Door 2 of ‘The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films’. Today we find Iron Man 3. Which, like yesterday’s Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is another Shane Black and Robert Downey Jr. collaboration. And it’s the first (and, to date, only?) movie from the Marvel Cinematic Universe to be set during the…
The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 1
It’s the first day of December and coincidentally it’s also the first day of ‘The James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films’ And what do we have lurking behind door 1? Why it’s only Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Which is one of a number of Christmas(ish) films attributable to writer/director Shane Black, a man who…
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