Something About Nothing

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A few weeks ago, in order to maintain a regular blogging schedule, I committed to regularly writing short posts about ‘not very much’, instead of longer posts that pretend to be about ‘something’ but aren’t really about anything.

Since making that pledge, I have written anything much.

So the plan didn’t work.

And now I’m reduced once again to writing about how I’ve failed to produce any meaningful content for this blog, aside from a couple of poems, one of which was a Haiku that I wrote ages ago and the one I posted yesterday, which was about Bovril.

Bovril!

Who writes poetry about Bovril?

Anyway, I’m really just posting this as confirmation that I am still alive.

I have just been occupied with lots of stuff lately.

Some of that stuff is work related and it genuinely makes me sad that I have to spend good blogging time working on paperwork that no-one is ever going to read but nonetheless needs to be completed so that I can answer honestly when people ask me if I’ve done it.

I’m not above answering dishonestly about completing paperwork and I have employed that strategy many times in my life to get people off my back, but it generally is prudent to complete it anyway, at some point, because even though most of the time no-one bothers to read it, it only takes one excessively keen and enquiring person to start probing for the whole house of cards to come tumbling down.

I feel there are some of these overzealous vultures circling at the moment so I’m being particularly careful to “dot the ‘i’s and cross the ‘t’s” in my professional life.

However, all work and no play would make James a dull boy so I have also been quite busy filling potential blogging time with other fun stuff.

I could write about that fun stuff here.

But I won’t.

Because that might create the illusion that I lead a vaguely fulfilling existence.

Which might even be the truth if I really think about it.

But I think a sense of satisfaction with my lot in life would be setting entirely the wrong tone for my blog.

There’s Always A Bright Side

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It’s already five past eight
I’m running rather late
I overslept this morning
Ignored alarm clock’s warning

Had no time to eat my toast
Now coffee is the most
I’ll consume before my break
So I’ll be hungry but awake

And the traffic will be slow
But I’ll just go with the flow
There’s no point in getting stressed
(Did I remember to get dressed?)

It’s not been the best of starts
But I’ll try not to lose heart
If I can just survive the day
Then there’s always Beaujolais

The Leader We Deserve

In these troubled times we need strong and stable leadership.

We need consistency.

In any given situation we need a guidance on what the best solution probably is.

We need someone who can generally point us in the right direction.

Of course nobody’s perfect but we need a figurehead who is right more often that they are wrong.

I’m not sure any of us have that at the moment.

I think it’s time for something new.

This may be radical thinking but I propose a new leader to take us where we need to go.

All bow down before…

…The Rule Of Thumb!

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Lessons From Dystopian Fiction

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Today I read a book
A novel set in space
It depicted the bleak end
Of the human race

It was set in future times
Many years from now
It predicted our doom
And it detailed how

We wiped our planet out
Through wars and pollution
How we failed to change our ways
How we ignored obvious solutions

I suppose it was quite sad
A reflection of our times
A punishment quite fit
For environmental crimes

So perhaps I missed the point
And you may think I’m a fool
For the lesson that I took
Is that spaceships are quite cool

Weathering The Storm With A Nice Cup Of Tea

I was slightly nervous about posting this week’s oeuvre for ‘Artist’s Corner’.

It might be a touch controversial.

I can imagine some people might get offended.

There may be anger and vitriol.

Maybe some things shouldn’t be shared with world.

But art is art and it behooves me to post this no matter what the reaction.

Because if people are upset, I hope with time they will be able to get over it and appreciate this for what it really is.

Which is, after all, just ‘A Storm In A Teacup.’

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Just One More

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“Just one more,” is my mantra
As I near my breaking point
Just one more and I can rest
And ease my creaking joints

Breathless, broken, sweating
An hour of constant pain
At the end of which I wonder
What exactly do I gain?

The answer comes soon after
I pick myself up off the floor
And crack open the biscuit tin
When it’s never ‘just one more’…

Even I Don’t Know What This Post Is About And I Wrote It

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I’m in work as I write this.

Which might seem a bit naughty, because one should never use work time for blogging and I absolutely never would. It’s not ok to blog during work time.

The above paragraph was written on the basis that although there’s no chance my boss ever reads my blog, if she actually were to read it, I’m fairly sure she wouldn’t get past the first few sentences. Much like when she reads my emails. If she does indeed read them. Which doesn’t always appear to be the case.

Although I don’t make a habit of blogging in work time, my moral stance on blogging during work time is perhaps more liberal than the stance I took a mere 2 paragraphs ago. Frankly if my employer thinks it’s ok to expect me to complete paperwork in my own time then surely it’s ok to blog during work time.

But actually I don’t tend to blog during work time very often. Continue reading Even I Don’t Know What This Post Is About And I Wrote It

Always Read The Label

It’s Friday, which is the day that, when I can be bothered, I post something that I claim is art, even though it really isn’t.

Even accepting the notion that art is in the eye of the beholder, and that anything can therefore qualify as art, it would be a stretch to claim I’ve actually achieved anything remotely artistic with my ‘Artist’s Corner’ feature.

But today that’s about to change because, ladies and gentlemen of the blogosphere, I give you this masterpiece:

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Now you might claim that all I’ve done here is rip the label off a tin of tomatoes and replaced it with a white self adhesive label onto which I’ve written the word worms.

And you’d be right, that is all I’ve done.

It isn’t an actual can of worms and not even a particularly gullible small child would fall for it. Mrs Proclaims was, nonetheless, a tad apprehensive when I opened the above can earlier this week to make a sea food pasta dish. She ate it but she did eye the squid with a little more suspicion than usual.

But it is art nonetheless, because my ‘can of worms’ is representative of all of the metaphorical ‘cans of worms’ being opened at the moment, all over the world (but often by one man in particular…).

When you think about it I’ve been very very clever here.

Probably the most clever of all the artists.