Tag: humor

The September Sessions – 2 of 9

Hello and welcome back to ‘Artist’s Corner’, the bit of my blog that is currently paying tribute to the peerless artistic talents of my 2-year-old daughter. I say peerless, but in all honesty I’ve never seen any of the art that her peers produce. If indeed she has peers. Can you have peers when you’re…

Exclusive! An Interview With James Proclaims

For the last five years, little has been known about the mysterious figure behind the multi-award nominated blog, ‘James Proclaims’. Apart from the blog posts of course. But what can you really tell about a person from a blog post? Well, possibly quite a lot. Or maybe nothing at all. Have the utterings of the…

James Explains How To Blog

Hello bloggers and bots, it’s James here, off of the multi-award nominated blog, ‘James Proclaims’. I’ve been at this blogging malarkey for over five years now (if we ignore all the blogs I started and then abandoned in the preceding years. Of which there were a few) so I’m something of an expert. Indeed after…

James Explains How To Comment

Hello fellow bloggers, bots and the unlikely but still plausible person who reads this and is neither a blogger nor a bot. Today I’d like to talk about commenting on blogs. Because I’ve noticed that some people are prone to do so on this blog and, to put it bluntly, not everyone is getting it…

A Touch Of Insincerity

The last thing I wanted to do today was upset you But I’ve been feeling quite stressed Because I’ve had so much to do A really long list of things I intended to complete And frankly I was worried that I wouldn’t have time So it’s come as something of a relief That I have…

Please Read – This Post Contains Important Information Regarding a Forthcoming Induction Seminar For New Followers

Welcome to James Proclaims – I would like to offer our sincere thanks to you for choosing to further your reading experiences here. You are following a great blog with a longstanding commitment to excellence and innovation. At James Proclaims, leadership in poetry and satire is combined with a collaborative spirit and global connections. You…

Wanted – Talented Writers Who Have No Personal Ambition And Are Happy To Give Away Content For No Remuneration Or Credit

A exciting opportunity has arisen for a creative, results focused and ambitious Content Writer who can take direction from written or spoken ideas and convert them seamlessly into quality content that is better than the stuff we’re currently churning out. James Proclaims Ltd James Proclaims is a multiple award-nominated blog based in the UK somewhere.…

Important Information For Our Readers

Dear Reader Thank you for your continued loyalty and support during these past months, which we know have been difficult ones. As life begins to return to some normality, we want to reassure you that we’re continuing to do everything we can to keep you safe while still providing the quality poetry and great art…

Don’t Call It A Comeback

It is the 18th November, which quite possibly means that Christmas is nearly upon us. It also means that I haven’t troubled the blogosphere for a good four months. At least I imagine it’s been a good four months if you really don’t like my writing. But then I would hypothesise that you wouldn’t be…

It’s All Kicking Off

It’s been a while since I last blogged. Possibly that is due to a certain amount of blogging fatigue accrued during the ‘200 posts in 200 days’ marathon of blogging that preceded this latest hiatus. Or possibly I had nothing to say. Then again, having nothing to say has never been a particular barrier before.…

Unleash Your Lethargy

Sorry that I didn’t Do that thing I said I’d do I didn’t get around to it Because I didn’t want to It’s not that I am lazy (Though you could say that of me) But I really see no purpose In being as busy as a bee It’s hard to really care about A…

There Is No ‘I’ In T-E-A-M

There are things that I am bad at Which are a strength of yours So if we work together We might accomplish more It seems to make more sense For our skills to be combined If we share our talents We can leave our woes behind It won’t be a partnership Built on equality My…

Lofty Ambitions

Today I have a goal A target I must hit It really won’t be easy But I’m not going to quit I will persevere all day Until I achieve my aim I’ve failed at this before But today I’ll up my game It might be a touch ambitious A bit beyond my scope But if…

Desperate Lover

I know I said I’d write A poem about you But I can’t do it now Cos I really need the loo You know that I adore you And I would try to write it first But I just can’t hold it in Cos I’m about to burst My poem will be lovely I’m sure…

James Explains Some Stuff That No-one Asked Him To Explain

Welcome back to another James Explains. It’s been a while since I last donned my explaining socks (which are, essentially, just ordinary socks that I’ve chosen to call ‘explaining socks’), to answer the questions posed to me by other people. People like you. Assuming you are people. Which is the only assumption I can make,…

Good Intentions, Bad Results

This morning I didn’t shower Because I wanted to exercise And it seemed pointless to shower Before I exercised But the day went on And I didn’t exercise Because the requisite motivation Escaped me And everytime I found motivation Something else came up Like meals Meals got in the way Because you can’t exercise Immediately…

Forlornly Fatigued

Sometimes when I feel tired I’m not really that nice And it’s better to avoid me Or make interactions more concise I don’t mean to be so grumpy Like a bear with a sore head But I’m not very good at coping When I spend too little time in bed I’ll be much better tomorrow…

Domestic Drudgery

Oh carpet on the floor What’s with all the crumbs? I vacuumed only last week From where did they all come? I’m sure that I just ironed All those crumpled shirts That they need another pressing Rather disconcerts Those dirty plates and cups Are back sitting in the sink But I only washed them yesterday…