James Explains Nothing Very Much At All

James Explains

alligator-44625_640

Admittedly it was something of a risk when I started a regular feature on my blog that was entirely reliant on ‘audience participation’ that there might come a day when the audience chose not to participate.

Or more specifically when I started a feature, which was entirely dependent on other people asking me questions, that there might come a week when no questions were asked.

And that time has arrived, for I have no questions to answer this week.

Or very few anyway.

The ever-reliable Pete did ask a question this week, and actually I believe there remain some unanswered ‘Pete’ questions from previous weeks.

But this is not all about Pete.

It’s a bit about Pete obviously.

But it’s not all about Pete.

Yet.

So I’ll answer one or more of Pete’s outstanding questions next week, but this week I thought I might try my contingency plan for when the day arrives that even Pete can’t be bothered to ask me any questions.

And my contingency plan is that I will ask myself some questions.

Because, if I’m honest, I am the kind of person that talks to myself quite regularly anyway, so there’s really no harm in doing it in blog form. They say it’s the first sign of madness, but in reality I’m pretty sure that the ship of sanity sailed a long time ago for me.

I mean I’m obviously not claiming to be mad, because that would be conclusive proof that I’m boringly sane and a bit on the dull side. And while I offer no denials that in real life I am a mind-numbingly dull person to spend time with, I’m not sure I always make the sanest of choices.

I’d give you an example of what I mean, but actually that might save this car crash of a post with something resembling interesting content and I’m far too committed to making this as perplexingly bad as I possibly can to allow for anything resembling an interesting narrative at this juncture.

Instead, in for a penny, in for a…

…well a pound seems like bit much, but I’ll certainly go as high as 20p…

So, without further ado, here are this week’s questions:

James, from James Proclaims asks:

What’s going on right now?

Well James, you appear to be having something of a breakdown on your own blog. It’s all quite distressing really.

James, who is also from James Proclaims asks:

Seriously though, why is this happening?

Great question James, and truthfully I’m not sure. Maybe this is some kind of self-aware satire that is genuinely meant to be funny, or maybe this is the very worrying decline of a man in his late thirties, who has finally realised that many of his long-held ambitions are pipe dreams.

James, who to be clear is still the same James as before and is in fact me asks:

Am I going to get through this?

I’m not sure James. Only time will tell. Perhaps lay off the red wine for a few days though eh?

And that’s it for another James Explains. If you never want to see anything quite as tragic on these pages again then please ask a question, any question, in the comments below.

James and I are depending on you.

Disclaimer: I actually did end up getting asked a few questions this week but I’d already written the above nonsense and decided to post it anyway, so apologies if your question went unanswered this week, I’ll definitely answer it next week! Although still ask more questions below and consider the above a cautionary tale of just how low I’m prepared to sink on these pages if I don’t get my own way…

 

TREASURE REGRET HOME LOVE UNCERTAINTY SECRET

James Proclaims (4)

It’s day 3 of Writing 101 and day 4 of my new job.

Because I’ve got a new job.

So I slightly regret signing up for Writing 101 because I’m struggling for time as I adapt to a new role, even though the new role is basically the same as one I did three years ago, which is that of a classroom teacher of maths. I’m a bit out of practice. Three years ago it was a job I could do in my sleep (and I frequently did) but I’m having to be a bit more on my game at the moment. Continue reading TREASURE REGRET HOME LOVE UNCERTAINTY SECRET

A Bit Of Introspection

James Proclaims (4)

I nearly made it a whole seven days without blogging about blogging, but yesterday I cracked and wrote a tongue-in-cheek post that was very much about blogging. It was partly through the limitations of time and partly through a total lack of inspiration. ‘Blogger’s Block’ if you will.

So today I thought I’d use my blog entry to ruminate a little on what the point of all of this is. Through careful analysis (by the blog itself not by me…) I’ve worked out that I get very few people visiting ‘James Proclaims’ on a Saturday, so if I’m going to be a little self-indulgent then today is probably the day. If such a thing as a ‘die hard’ fan of this blog exists, then I suppose this is the DVD ‘making of’ extra rather than the main content. If you are a ‘die-hard’ fan of this blog then you might want to reconsider how you spend your time. There are better things than this out there for your entertainment, not just in the form of other blogs but also books and films and art and stuff. If you’re a die hard fan of my blog then you might instead want to to try the Die Hard films. At least three of them are better than this. Continue reading A Bit Of Introspection