Tag: parenting

Bonus Boxing Day

Yesterday was Boxing Day, but today is also Boxing Day. Although perhaps there is no such thing as Boxing Day. It depends on where you are in the world I suppose. I don’t think Boxing Day shares the same international reknown as Christmas Day. And my blog, insofar as it has a readership (which is…

Another Saturday Chez Proclaims

When last I troubled the blogoshpere, it was at the end of a horrible weekend which saw Little Proclaims briefly hospitalised and the entire Proclaims family housebound while she recovered from her ailments and I grappled with a deadline for a course that it was in my professional interests to complete but in which I…

A Weekend To Not Remember

As I write this it is Sunday evening and I’m watching highlights of last week’s Reading Festival on the television. Specifically I am watching Liam Gallagher’s set. As I discussed in last week’s post, even though it takes place a mere ten minute walk from my house, I didn’t make it to the festival itself…

Of Portaloos and Potties

As I write this, it is Friday morning. I am at home, as has been the case for the last five weeks, because school is officially ‘out for summer’ and I work in a school. Not that I haven’t had a fair amount of paperwork to do in the ‘off season’ because I have. I…

Daddy, I Dropped A Wee On The Carpet

It’s Saturday morning as I write this and Chez Proclaims we are embarking on what is arguably the toughest challenge we have ever faced as a family. Little Proclaims is learning to use the potty. Given that she turned 3 a few weeks ago, we are actually rather late to this particular party. We did…

Of Bubbles And Bubbly

As I write this I am a little inebriated. I’m currently sitting in my garden on a Saturday afternoon drinking a bottle of pink sparkling wine, which does not appear to subscribe to such platitudinous labels as Champagne, Cava or Prosecco but is rather its own thing. Not that I could tell the difference between…

A Post About Bubbles

As I write this I am sitting in my garden enjoying what can only be described as a glorious Saturday morning. The sun is shining, the birds are singing and the general tranquillity is punctuated only by the delighted sounds of Little Proclaims who is running around the garden making bubbles with a cheap plastic…

Little Proclaims Takes The Wheel

As I appear to still be plagued by writer’s block, I thought I’d let my two-year-old daughter, known to her fans as Little Proclaims, take responsibility for today’s post. Of course regular readers will be more familiar with her contributions to the art world, back when I used to post her drawings on this blog…

A Churlish Celebration Of World Book Day

Happy World Book Day everyone! Because if you live in the UK, then today is World Book Day. If you live somewhere else then it probably isn’t. Because we ‘celebrate’ World Book Day on a different day to the rest of the world. Which means that we should call it ‘UK Book Day’. But we…

Come On Wales!

I am Welsh. Sort of. I was actually born in England, to an English mother and a sort of Indian father. My father was born in India, but moved to the UK when he was four years old. He grew up in England but moved to Wales when he was eighteen to go to university…

I Want To Help You Daddy

The other day I was giving Little Proclaims a bath. I say ‘giving her a bath’, but these days my main function is to get the water to the right temperature and then hover in the background while she plays with her plastic ducks. It’s certainly not an unpleasant part of the evening but I…

Thinking Outside Of The Boxing Day

While I always like to write a Christmas Day post, I don’t always bother on Boxing Day. There are only so many times you can make jokes about festive pugilism after all. Still, I find myself with a few moments to kill today, as my daughter is enjoying her afternoon nap and my wife, who…

Entr’acte

Welcome back to ‘Artist’s Corner’, the only bit of my blog where you can find the much-celebrated artwork of Little Proclaims, my two-year-old daughter. This is very much the final entry in the 2020 series, as all regular activities on my blog must cease next week in order for me to begin my usual festive…

A Thousand Words From Little Proclaims

Welcome back to ‘Artist’s Corner’, the bit of my blog that is currently devoted to the art-work of my two-year-old daughter. Last week saw the finale of ‘The September Sessions’, a nine-week extravaganza celebrating the art she produced on a weekend when she was a bit ill and I couldn’t take her our for fear…

The September Sessions – 9 of 9

Welcome to a very special ‘Artist’s Corner’. The ninth and final instalment of the seminal ‘September Sessions’, a series of drawings produced by my two-year-old daughter one weekend in September when she was a little bit under the weather and consequently not able to venture out in these germophobic times, for fear of inducing panic.…

The September Sessions – 8 of 9

Today is the 5th of November, which ordinarily mean it’s Guy Fawkes Night. This is because somebody called Guy Fawkes was quite bad at regicide, but to be fair to him, he was part of a bigger group of people who were all bad at regicide and he wasn’t even the ringleader. But for some…

A Post That Is Sort Of About Halloween

Today is Halloween. I don’t much care about Halloween most years, so it seems unlikely that I will that bothered about it this year. But the world is quite a scary place at the moment. I don’t know if that makes Halloween more or less worthwhile. We’ve basically been experiencing the apocalypse since the end…

The September Sessions – 7 of 9

We are, once again, at that time of the week when I post a picture produced by my daughter, with her washable felt tip pens, and make the bold claim that it is art. This particular bit of my blog has been going on for months but the last few weeks have been given over…

The September Sessions – 6 of 9

Hello art fans, it’s once again that time of the week when I try to pass off something my toddler drew with her washable felt-tip pens as actual art. Often people like to write critiques of said ‘art’ in the comments section. It’s basically the same joke every week and yet somehow it remains one…

The September Sessions – 5 of 9

Here we are, once again, at the bit of my blog that is devoted to the showcasing of ‘art’ produced by my two-year-old daughter. I assumed that this particular series would have petered out some time ago, but it appears to be still going strong and these posts are, seemingly, amongst my better received offerings,…

A Daddy Daughter Poem

The following is something that Little Proclaims and I came up with a few weeks ago. It’s more of a performance piece really. I’m not sure it translates to the page too well. But I’ve transcribed it anyway, because content is content. You’ll have to imagine the performance but if it helps, imagine the lines…