We are, once again, at that time of the week when I post a picture produced by my daughter, with her washable felt tip pens, and make the bold claim that it is art. This particular bit of my blog has been going on for months but the last few weeks have been given over…
Tag: parenting
The September Sessions – 6 of 9
Hello art fans, it’s once again that time of the week when I try to pass off something my toddler drew with her washable felt-tip pens as actual art. Often people like to write critiques of said ‘art’ in the comments section. It’s basically the same joke every week and yet somehow it remains one…
The September Sessions – 5 of 9
Here we are, once again, at the bit of my blog that is devoted to the showcasing of ‘art’ produced by my two-year-old daughter. I assumed that this particular series would have petered out some time ago, but it appears to be still going strong and these posts are, seemingly, amongst my better received offerings,…
A Daddy Daughter Poem
The following is something that Little Proclaims and I came up with a few weeks ago. It’s more of a performance piece really. I’m not sure it translates to the page too well. But I’ve transcribed it anyway, because content is content. You’ll have to imagine the performance but if it helps, imagine the lines…
James Complains About A Man Buying Potatoes (But Not Specifically Because He Was Buying Potatoes)
It’s Sunday morning as I write this (though I think it will likely be Tuesday before I post it) and I am, to put it mildly, quite irritated. Possibly I’d go so far as to say I’m angry. And frankly my state of vexation is over something so petty that I should be able to…
The September Sessions – 4 of 9
I almost didn’t manage to post anything today, which would have been a shame, given that I’m only a day away from matching my best ever consecutive daily blogging streak. Given that I’ve been tending to use Thursdays as a day to showcase my toddler’s scribbles and pretend that they are art and given that…
A Poem About My Main Function As A Parent
I tell my child not to jump on the bed Instead she prefers to jump on my head She has the most adorable toes Though less endearing when kicking my nose But sometimes she does give my head a rest And chooses instead to jump on my chest My daughter is a little jumping bean…
The September Sessions – 3 of 9
In recent times I’ve been posting my two-year-old daughter’s artistic endeavours on my blog on a Thursday. But this week I’ve switched to Wednesday. This is partly because today is the last day of September and while I still have six more pieces from ‘The September Sessions’ (which, for the uninitiated, is a series of…
The September Sessions – 2 of 9
Hello and welcome back to ‘Artist’s Corner’, the bit of my blog that is currently paying tribute to the peerless artistic talents of my 2-year-old daughter. I say peerless, but in all honesty I’ve never seen any of the art that her peers produce. If indeed she has peers. Can you have peers when you’re…
The September Sessions – 1 of 9
Hello and welcome to a very special edition of ‘Artist’s Corner’. You join me as I witness the creation of a masterpiece. Little Proclaims has permitted me to observe as she puts together the finishing touches to the ‘September Sessions’, a project that she began in earnest last week while feeling slightly unwell. Although she…
A Haiku About The Morning After Feeling Without The Fun Of The Night Before
I drink less beer now But my toddler ensures that Hangovers endure
Let’s Chalk It Up
Hello and welcome to Artist’s Corner. Regular readers will know that, of late, this has been the bit of my blog on which I have been posting the various artistic endeavours of my two-year-old daughter. And while she continues to enjoy putting washable felt-tip pen to paper, I’m not currently at home as much as…
My Toddler Still Thinks I’m An Idiot
Back in June I wrote a post called My Toddler Thinks I’m An Idiot. Essentially I recounted how my wife and I were attempting to bring our daughter up to be bilingual in French and English. We were always quietly confident about the English bit of that particular ambition, what with English being our first language…
Pink
Hello and welcome to another Artist’s Corner, the bit of my blog that I’m currently loaning out to my two-year-old daughter so that she has a forum in which to share her artistic endeavors. Ever the innovator, this week she has moved from white A4 paper to expressing herself on pink A4 paper. As always,…
Happy Hour Is Over
The laugh of a childA charming sound but betterDuring daylight hours
Playing With Fire?
Welcome to another Artist’s Corner, the bit of my blog where I have handed over my incredibly influential and important digital platform to showcase the artistic talents of my two-year-old daughter. After last week’s mostly blue efforts, she has gone with some other colours this week. Just to highlight her range. I’m not sure what…
A Haiku By A Sleep-Deprived Parent
Sleep like a babyAt inconvenient timesAnd rarely at night
Much A-Blue About Something
Hello and welcome to a very special Artist’s corner. As you will know if you read last week’s powerful and moving piece, I am no longer a contributor to this feature due to having been usurped by my two-year-old daughter. Although our collaborations over the last few weeks have achieved great acclaim, it has been…
A Haiku About Heat
Heatwave and toddlerImproved my understandingOf the word fatigue
Frog
Welcome to Artist’s Corner, the bit of my blog where I post quite a rubbish picture that I have drawn and pretend that it is art. Today is something of a bittersweet day because I am, sadly, going to announce my retirement from Artist’s Corner. The time has come to pass the baton on to…
The Tragic Tale Of Dipsy
The picture above is of Dipsy. On the off-chance you’ve never come across him before, Dipsy is a Teletubby, off of the TV show ‘Teletubbies’. I say ‘he’ although I wasn’t sure before I started writing this if Teletubbies had specific genders and, if so, what specific gender Dispsy was. But I’ve checked, because the…
The Birds
Welcome back to another ‘Artist’s Corner’, the bit of my blog where I publish some crudely drawn cartoons and pretend that they are art. Recently I’ve been collaborating with my now 2-year-old daughter (it was her birthday on Monday). The results have been akin to what you might get if a man with no discernible…
Mouse
Welcome back to Artist’s Corner, the bit of my blog in which I peddle the same material week after week in the hope that no-one really notices. The conceit is quite simple. I draw a picture, my very-nearly-two-year-old daughter adds a touch of colour and then I post it on here and pretend it’s art.…
Rose-Tinted Road Rage
Stuck in traffic jam Screaming toddler in the back Was lockdown so bad?
Pig – Encore
Welcome back to Artist’s Corner, the bit of my blog in which I pretend that fairly rubbish drawings are actually art. Lately I’ve been posting the same sort of inept doodles as ever, but with the added twist that my almost-two-year-old daughter had been adding her own unique take using some washable felt-tip pens. Last…
Pig
Welcome back to Artist’s Corner, the bit of my blog that, of late, has being playing host to some innovative collaborative art projects put together by me and my almost-two-year-old daughter. If you’ve not seen our previous efforts then I would urge you to reconsider your life choices, but I will also condescend to explain,…
Reflections On The Recent Lockdown By A Man Who Might Be Slightly Inebriated
It will be Monday when I post this but, as I write, it is Saturday afternoon. Little Proclaims and I spent much of this morning doing our usual weekend daddy-daughter activities, which mostly consists of feeding ducks and jumping in puddles. I join in with the duck/goose/swan feeding as Little Proclaims, while content to hold…
A Rude Awakening
Lazy Sunday start Would be my preference but Toddler disagrees
Snake
Welcome back to Artist’s Corner, the bit of my blog in which I try to pass off rudimentary doodles as art. For the last few weeks I’ve been posting the same kind of sub-standard drawings as was my way when I first started doing this back in 2017. But these days I have a collaborative…
Dog
It’s that time of the week again, when I present one of my not-very-good doodles, which my almost-two-year-old daughter has subsequently embellished with her washable felt tips, and then I pretend it’s art. But the collaboration doesn’t end there, because by far the best bit of these posts for the last two weeks has been…
Ducks Versus Puddles (Round 2)
Last week we explored the efficacy of ducks (or more accurately geese, which aren’t ducks) at hindering my morning run, in comparison to puddles. That round went to puddles. Let’s see if ducks (and associated waterfowl) can level things up this week. Prior to current world events, I would often take my daughter to…
James Proclaims! 