Author: James

I'm a fairly nice bloke. You'd probably like me if you met me.

The September Sessions – 6 of 9

Hello art fans, it’s once again that time of the week when I try to pass off something my toddler drew with her washable felt-tip pens as actual art. Often people like to write critiques of said ‘art’ in the comments section. It’s basically the same joke every week and yet somehow it remains one…

Just Call Me Mr Milestone

In recent weeks I have passed quite a few significant milestones in my life. The milestones are, of course, metaphorical. I haven’t passed any real milestones. Or possibly I have when I’ve been out and about, but if that is the case I haven’t really noticed. In real life, actual milestones are a somewhat dated…

Yet Another Poem About

This a poem for Monday Although I wrote it on Sunday It is not an especially fun day It’s not my scheduled run day It’s never been my ‘eat-a-bun’ day Though it’s often my ‘make-a-pun’ day But I do really hope that one day I wake up not hating Monday

A Poem About Healthy Eating

Muesli? You amuse me Why would I eat that? I’m as healthy as a lion Albeit one that’s fat I have no need to change My diet is just fine Next you’ll ask me to give up My daily breakfast wine It’s not like I’m inactive I skip, I jump, I hop I burn those…

The September Sessions – 5 of 9

Here we are, once again, at the bit of my blog that is devoted to the showcasing of ‘art’ produced by my two-year-old daughter. I assumed that this particular series would have petered out some time ago, but it appears to be still going strong and these posts are, seemingly, amongst my better received offerings,…

A Daddy Daughter Poem

The following is something that Little Proclaims and I came up with a few weeks ago. It’s more of a performance piece really. I’m not sure it translates to the page too well. But I’ve transcribed it anyway, because content is content. You’ll have to imagine the performance but if it helps, imagine the lines…

A Sunday Poem

According to 80s hit ‘Manic Monday’ (Performed by The Bangles but written by Prince) Sunday is a ‘fun day’ Perhaps when juxtaposed with Monday Sunday is a fun day But I spend most of Sunday Worrying about Monday So it is not a fun day Anymore than Saturday is a fatter day Although I tend…

The September Sessions – 4 of 9

I almost didn’t manage to post anything today, which would have been a shame, given that I’m only a day away from matching my best ever consecutive daily blogging streak. Given that I’ve been tending to use Thursdays as a day to showcase my toddler’s scribbles and pretend that they are art and given that…

A Poem About My Main Function As A Parent

I tell my child not to jump on the bed Instead she prefers to jump on my head She has the most adorable toes Though less endearing when kicking my nose But sometimes she does give my head a rest And chooses instead to jump on my chest My daughter is a little jumping bean…

Blogging The Candle At Blog Ends

At first glance the title of this post looks like it might be a clever play on a fairly common idiom. But it isn’t really that clever and it doesn’t bear up to much scrutiny. Nonetheless, as the title of a fairly pointless post about my current blogging stats, it serves a purpose. That I’m…

The September Sessions – 3 of 9

In recent times I’ve been posting my two-year-old daughter’s artistic endeavours on my blog on a Thursday. But this week I’ve switched to Wednesday. This is partly because today is the last day of September and while I still have six more pieces from ‘The September Sessions’ (which, for the uninitiated, is a series of…

An Ode To Odes

I’m partial to an ode It’s not hard to see why Though it follows a code You only need comply With rules about the rhymes And it’s quite a simple scheme Though easy to get wrong Which we all do sometimes But the ode still reigns supreme When it can be sung like a song