If you’re reading this In the hope it’s something good It may disappoint
Author: James
The September Sessions – 6 of 9
Hello art fans, it’s once again that time of the week when I try to pass off something my toddler drew with her washable felt-tip pens as actual art. Often people like to write critiques of said ‘art’ in the comments section. It’s basically the same joke every week and yet somehow it remains one…
Just Call Me Mr Milestone
In recent weeks I have passed quite a few significant milestones in my life. The milestones are, of course, metaphorical. I haven’t passed any real milestones. Or possibly I have when I’ve been out and about, but if that is the case I haven’t really noticed. In real life, actual milestones are a somewhat dated…
A Poem About My Cynical Relationship With Poetry
There are some who may not know it But I don’t claim to be a poet And though I sometimes write in verse I can think of nothing worse Than reading poetry I wrote That would really get my goat So if you ask me to read this I’ll choose to give it a miss…
Yet Another Poem About
This a poem for Monday Although I wrote it on Sunday It is not an especially fun day It’s not my scheduled run day It’s never been my ‘eat-a-bun’ day Though it’s often my ‘make-a-pun’ day But I do really hope that one day I wake up not hating Monday
A Poem With A Consistent Rhyme Scheme Throughout But Little Else To Recommend It
I sat down at night In artificial light That was slightly too bright And I tried to write But I was not erudite And try as I might I just couldn’t quite Get the words right I was probably a sight As if I’d had a fright I was as high as a kite After…
A Poem About Healthy Eating
Muesli? You amuse me Why would I eat that? I’m as healthy as a lion Albeit one that’s fat I have no need to change My diet is just fine Next you’ll ask me to give up My daily breakfast wine It’s not like I’m inactive I skip, I jump, I hop I burn those…
A Haiku About A Lack Of Equilibrium
I enjoy weekends But a five:two work/life split Seems to lack balance
The September Sessions – 5 of 9
Here we are, once again, at the bit of my blog that is devoted to the showcasing of ‘art’ produced by my two-year-old daughter. I assumed that this particular series would have petered out some time ago, but it appears to be still going strong and these posts are, seemingly, amongst my better received offerings,…
A Daddy Daughter Poem
The following is something that Little Proclaims and I came up with a few weeks ago. It’s more of a performance piece really. I’m not sure it translates to the page too well. But I’ve transcribed it anyway, because content is content. You’ll have to imagine the performance but if it helps, imagine the lines…
James Complains About A Man Buying Potatoes (But Not Specifically Because He Was Buying Potatoes)
It’s Sunday morning as I write this (though I think it will likely be Tuesday before I post it) and I am, to put it mildly, quite irritated. Possibly I’d go so far as to say I’m angry. And frankly my state of vexation is over something so petty that I should be able to…
A Cinquain About Monday
Monday Most hated day Because of work mainly Bank Holiday Mondays are fine But sparse
A Sunday Poem
According to 80s hit ‘Manic Monday’ (Performed by The Bangles but written by Prince) Sunday is a ‘fun day’ Perhaps when juxtaposed with Monday Sunday is a fun day But I spend most of Sunday Worrying about Monday So it is not a fun day Anymore than Saturday is a fatter day Although I tend…
A Haiku About Not Living Life To The Full
Weekends are always Full of opportunities And I squander them
A Haiku About The Futility Of Optimism
That Friday feeling A sense of hope just before A vapid weekend
The September Sessions – 4 of 9
I almost didn’t manage to post anything today, which would have been a shame, given that I’m only a day away from matching my best ever consecutive daily blogging streak. Given that I’ve been tending to use Thursdays as a day to showcase my toddler’s scribbles and pretend that they are art and given that…
A Poem About My Main Function As A Parent
I tell my child not to jump on the bed Instead she prefers to jump on my head She has the most adorable toes Though less endearing when kicking my nose But sometimes she does give my head a rest And chooses instead to jump on my chest My daughter is a little jumping bean…
A Haiku About The True Villain Of The Working Week
You survive Monday Only to discover that Tuesday’s even worse
Blank Verse About Why I Don’t Really Like Blank Verse
‘Tis time to try my hand at writing verse The kind that lacks a rhyme but still attempts A rhythmic beat maintained by counting sounds A form as prevalent as it is dull Iambic pentameter without rhyme Might be akin to cake without icing Or birthdays without any cake at all Perhaps as bad as…
A Quatrain About Rain
There are very few things in life That give the same level of strife As the metaphorical pain Caused by a whole weekend of rain
A Tanka About How The Seasons Influence My Viewing Habits
October is here With it are the first signs that Winter is coming So the rational response Is to binge-watch Game of Thrones
All Aboard The Quatrain
A stanza or poem made of four lines And alternate rhymes not hard to maintain Such simple rules are the only confines Which is why we love a simple quatrain
Blogging The Candle At Blog Ends
At first glance the title of this post looks like it might be a clever play on a fairly common idiom. But it isn’t really that clever and it doesn’t bear up to much scrutiny. Nonetheless, as the title of a fairly pointless post about my current blogging stats, it serves a purpose. That I’m…
The September Sessions – 3 of 9
In recent times I’ve been posting my two-year-old daughter’s artistic endeavours on my blog on a Thursday. But this week I’ve switched to Wednesday. This is partly because today is the last day of September and while I still have six more pieces from ‘The September Sessions’ (which, for the uninitiated, is a series of…
A Cinquain About How To Write An Acceptable If Unspectacular Cinquain
Cinquain It has five lines There are other rules too But the main rule is just five lines Simple
An Epigram That May Not Actually Be An Epigram
And so to write an epigram To show what a tremendous wit I am High upon the pedestal I sit And you can see I’m full of… …something that rhymes with wit
An Ode To Odes
I’m partial to an ode It’s not hard to see why Though it follows a code You only need comply With rules about the rhymes And it’s quite a simple scheme Though easy to get wrong Which we all do sometimes But the ode still reigns supreme When it can be sung like a song
A Haiku About When It Is Time To Stop Writing Even If All You Are Trying To Write Is A Haiku
Although I am tired I still managed to write this Perhaps unwisely
A Tanka About Tanks
When condemning tanks As just brutal war machines One often forgets The fact that tanks also make Some lovely homes for goldfish
The September Sessions – 2 of 9
Hello and welcome back to ‘Artist’s Corner’, the bit of my blog that is currently paying tribute to the peerless artistic talents of my 2-year-old daughter. I say peerless, but in all honesty I’ve never seen any of the art that her peers produce. If indeed she has peers. Can you have peers when you’re…
A Poem About How To Rhyme When Writing A Poem
When trying to rhyme, it isn’t a crime To use the same word twice Or thrice or quatrice Quatrice is not a real word But it isn’t all that absurd To make up words If you poetate with a valid license But never poetate without a license Otherwise people won’t be able to tell That…
