Author: James

I'm a fairly nice bloke. You'd probably like me if you met me.

Pig

Welcome back to Artist’s Corner, the bit of my blog that, of late, has being playing host to some innovative collaborative art projects put together by me and my almost-two-year-old daughter. If you’ve not seen our previous efforts then I would urge you to reconsider your life choices, but I will also condescend to explain,…

Lost In A Bad Book

Oh paperback of little worth Why I bought you I do not know Within your plot there is a dearth Of a hint of narrative flow Clichés so bad they hurt my head Humour that leaves me without mirth I’ve gone as far as I can go And I will leave the rest unread

Snake

Welcome back to Artist’s Corner, the bit of my blog in which I try to pass off rudimentary doodles as art. For the last few weeks I’ve been posting the same kind of sub-standard drawings as was my way when I first started doing this back in 2017. But these days I have a collaborative…

James Complains About Seven Delicious Biscuits

  I enjoy a good biscuit as much as anyone. Pre-pandemic, when I used to have to attend meetings in person, I always felt slightly less hostile towards the meeting organiser if there were biscuits available. Not that biscuits could ever truly redeem any meeting, but when they were available they could help to ease…

We’re All On A Learning Journey

Lately I’ve noticed a tendency For so-called celebrities That I have never heard of To apologise for things That I didn’t know they’d done I can see at face value That it may seem appropriate To say sorry For insensitive choices Made when times were Supposedly less enlightened Even if the aforementioned times Weren’t actually…

James Explains Independence Day

Happy 4th July everyone! Today is officially Independence Day in the UK! What’s that? July 4th is Independence Day in the United States? No, that can’t be right. Unless you mean the time that Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum saved the world from aliens in 1996? Because I’m pretty sure that was a movie. And…

Throwing Stones

The other day I overheard two colleagues Disparaging another colleague (Behind that colleague’s back) For being overweight It irritated me For several reasons Not least because Although I’m not above The clandestine critiquing of others I would like to think That I would never do so For reasons so shallow And unkind As these people…

Dog

It’s that time of the week again, when I present one of my not-very-good doodles, which my almost-two-year-old daughter has subsequently embellished with her washable felt tips, and then I pretend it’s art. But the collaboration doesn’t end there, because by far the best bit of these posts for the last two weeks has been…

Ducks Versus Puddles (Round 2)

Last week we explored the efficacy of ducks (or more accurately geese, which aren’t ducks) at hindering my morning run, in comparison to puddles. That round went to puddles. Let’s see if ducks (and associated waterfowl) can level things up this week.   Prior to current world events, I would often take my daughter to…

Complacency

Of course I knew the dangers But, I’m pretty experienced And most of the time There isn’t anything to worry about Maybe I just got careless Assumed that the worst Could never happen to me A lazy assumption I now realise Based on the flimsy evidence That the worst hadn’t happened to me Not for…

Opinion Piece

Though it is accepted wisdom To equate success to fame I’m really not that sorry That nobody knows my name Yes, I’m glad that I’m not famous I’m happily unknown Anonymity quite suits me I’m sure I’m not alone Of course, I would admit that Fame might well have the odd perk Being wealthy would…

The Beautiful Game

Once in a while I like to put aside my own nonsense and compile the gibberish of others to make a ‘found poem’. In reality, I’ve only actually done this three times on my blog, and the last time was back in 2016, so it’s not a regular activity. The last one was in honour…

Cat

After the critical acclaim my daughter and I enjoyed last week with our debut collaboration, ‘Helicopter‘, we’re back this week with another of our artistic offerings. This week, Little Proclaims was keen to show another side of her, quite formidable, talents and has offered a more aggressive, almost brutal, palette to complement the elementary template…

An Homage To The Now Departed Daily Briefing

Hello and welcome to today’s update We haven’t got anything new to say Nothing’s really changed since yesterday But it’s important, nonetheless That we update you anyway Otherwise you’ll realise That we haven’t got any idea what we’re doing We’d rather give the impression That we do know what we’re doing Even though we don’t…

Ducks Versus Puddles (Round 1)

A couple of notes before I begin: This post is notionally about ducks, but really it’s more about geese. And a tiny bit about swans. Essentially it’s about the birds that live on the Thames, or the bit of the Thames that goes through the town of Reading. I think the collective name for such…