Tag: blogging

No Tifications

I have no Tifications And that makes me sad Because life with no Tifications Is quite clearly bad There are no emojions That could ever quite convey The true depth of my FOMO At the lack of tificating on display I do not like the appsence Of likes upon my page And I really cannot…

A Post About Bubbles

As I write this I am sitting in my garden enjoying what can only be described as a glorious Saturday morning. The sun is shining, the birds are singing and the general tranquillity is punctuated only by the delighted sounds of Little Proclaims who is running around the garden making bubbles with a cheap plastic…

May The May Be With You

Long time readers will know that last May I spent the entire month blogging about nothing but Star Wars on the flimsy premise that people often regard the fourth of May as ‘Star Wars Day’ (because you can say ‘May the Fourth be with you’ on that day and only a few people will think…

A Sort Of Penultimate Post

Yesterday I posted a haiku that, as with all my haikus, failed to meet most of the criteria to qualify as a haiku, and might, instead, be more accurately described as a senryu. Indeed it might be even more accurate to describe it as a small collection of words. Irrespective of its credentials, however, the…

The Key Ingredients To A Good Blog Post

James Proclaims is made with the finest selection of high-quality verbs and suffixes, punctuated by a delicate array of commas, colons and apostrophes. We don’t use any artificial adjectives in any of our posts and all of our exclamations are free-range. James Proclaims can be enjoyed as part of a balanced reading diet but is…

An Exclusive Offer From James Proclaims

With the end of lockdown in sight it’s time to start making plans and at James Proclaims, we would like to help you to to make the most of the New Normal, with exclusive access to our new outdoor blogging club. Take advantage of our pre-opening offer and get your first month free and no joining…

The James Proclaims Brand Guarantee

RETURN POLICYLast updated March 14, 2021 Thank you for choosing to read this post. We are very proud of our posts here at James Proclaims and hope you are happy with your choice of reading material. However, if you are not completely satisfied with your purchase for any reason, you may return it to us for a…

A Formal Apology From James Proclaims

We at James Proclaims fully recognise our role in the continuing propagation of low-quality, ill-informed content that continues to plague the blogosphere. In particular, we cannot ignore our contribution to the unhelpful trend of publishing mediocre, and occasionally very bad poetry. Our continuing barbarism of the once elegant Haiku form is particularly troubling and does…

Little Proclaims Takes The Wheel

As I appear to still be plagued by writer’s block, I thought I’d let my two-year-old daughter, known to her fans as Little Proclaims, take responsibility for today’s post. Of course regular readers will be more familiar with her contributions to the art world, back when I used to post her drawings on this blog…

Another Rhyme That Serves A Purpose

I don’t know if the problem is that I’m uninspired Or if it’s just a case that I’m a little overtired But lately I’ve been struggling to locate my muse I’ve checked and it’s not hiding in either of my shoes I’m sure that other bloggers have experienced my plight It’s hard to keep on…

A Rhyme That Serves A Purpose

When you are a blogger That is plagued by writer’s block And you’re trying to post daily And you’re up against the clock It’s better not to worry That you’re running out of time Instead just phone it in With a facile little rhyme

A Token Post

Hello dear readers and welcome back to the multi-award nominated blog, James Proclaims. Since the end of March 2020 I have been posting on a daily basis but I almost didn’t manage to post anything today. As it is I’m already over twelve hours late in posting this, given that my usual arbitrary blogging time…

A Post That May Leave You Cold

These days I generally schedule my posts in advance, even the bad poetry, which means that I am guilty of committing those crimes against literature in cold blood. But this morning I woke up and realised I had no post scheduled. So this post is as close to a ‘live performance’ as I can get…