The Eighth Annual Christmas Message from James Proclaims

I’m wearing a onesie festooned with images of Christmas trees and reindeer. I’m a tad more inebriated than would be the norm mid-afternoon. The oven is full of delicious (and expensive) things roasting and coated in an elaborate range of herbs and condiments. And we’re halfway through our second tub of chocolates in as many days.

All the evidence would suggest that it is Christmas.

And compared to Christmases of recent years, it is a pretty good one. Although the bar was set pretty low in 2020 and 2021 thanks to a certain pandemic so I wouldn’t want to overstate how good this Christmas is.

The fact that we are allowed to see other people this year, hasn’t necessarily encouraged my family unit to alter our usual plans of staying at home and quietly overindulging. But we are planning on seeing other people on other days over the festive break which is an option that was not available in recent Christmases past.

This year our family unit is a little larger thanks to the arrival of my youngest child, who has taken on the moniker of Littler Proclaims for the purposes of this blog.

Littler Proclaims is enjoying her first Christmas insofar as an eight-month-old ever could. She generally seems to be a happy child anyway, so I’m not sure whether Christmas has factored into her mood. Unlike her older sister – Little Proclaims – who this morning declared herself to be a ‘Christmas expert’ and who is intent on educating her younger sibling to all the ways of the season.

Little Proclaims’ current thesis on the subject is that Christmas is mainly about opening presents and eating chocolate. And she truly is an expert at both of those things.

But I’m not too shabby at those things either, so I like to think she learned from the best. Plus I’m also really good at drinking too much alcohol, a skill I’ve yet to pass on to my offspring, because I’m led to believe that might constitute bad parenting.

Anyway, wherever you are and whatever you are doing, I hope this Christmas finds you well. And a little fatter than you were yesterday.