This is a great poem
With good words
The best words
It’s a great, great poem
And together we’re going to make poetry great again
I can tell you
The press will tell you it’s not a great poem
What do the press know about poetry?
I know about poems
I know about poetry
And this is a very great poem
The best poem
The best of all poems
But I have more words
Words our poetry richly deserves
And I promise you now
That the words I will use
Will be very
They will be the right words
To make the very best poetry
In the history…
To eliminate bad poetry
Because we deserve
And we cannot allow bad poetry
We must take steps
To demolish and destroy
And bad poets
They are the worst
They are losers
And we must eliminate them
And defend our right
To have the poetry
We all deserve
The very best poetry
Poems like this one
Which are very very good
And not at all bad
As some people would have you believe
Those people are wrong
They are liars
This is a great, great poem
The kind of poetry we deserve
All of us
You’d better believe it
And we will make poetry great again
It’s going to be beautiful
So apparently it’s on
Time for Corbyn versus May
Though I’m fairly sure that Farron
Will want to have his say
But will anybody listen
To Lib Dems this time around?
Have recent landscape changes caused
A resurgence newly found?
Will they reclaim their moral high ground?
Will they break the UKIP curse?
Now Farage has got his Brexit
Or will Nuttall make things worse?
Or is it Scottish nationals
Who will now reign supreme?
The most vocal opposition
To the hard Brexit regime
But they only fight in Scotland
So they can’t rule the rest
And it seems there’s no-one else
To put Theresa to the test
She’s called a snap election
To reinforce her strong position
As she leads us out of Europe
Against feeble opposition
But perhaps she’s got it wrong
And now cometh the hour
Jeremy will also cometh
And sweep Labour into power
It might seem unlikely
But if we learned anything last year
It’s that outcomes just might be
Both what we hope or what we fear
And does it really matter
Which leader we applaud
Since we said ‘f*** off’ to Europe
And bet our future on a fraud?
If the motto of the Brexiteers
Is ‘All For Us and None For You’
Then today they’ll tone it down
As we begin to say adieu
For though we complain about officials
Who were appointed, not elected
We’ll ignore that our Theresa
Was unopposed when then selected
To move to Number Ten
And be the preeminent figure
To guide us through this mess
And today to pull the trigger
For if all hope now seems lost
And we think things can’t get better
Theresa begs to differ
And today she sent a letter
The letter went to a Donald
But not the one called Trump
(Though he’ll no doubt have his say
As we prepare to make the jump)
To become once more an island
An isolated nation
No longer able to blame
Everything on immigration
We’re told things will improve
But they might be getting bleaker
As the prices all go up
And the pound is getting weaker
But fear not my fellow Brits
In the short-term we’ll be thrifty
But soon we’ll be in ‘dreamland’
Through article number fifty
The realities of a ‘post-truth’ world
Are hard to distinguish from those
Of the pre-truth world
Worlds where we are bombarded by images
Of things we neither want nor need
Maybe we might need them
And we do quite want them
In fact, we can’t live without them
But iThink iKnow what iNeed
Though Apples are not the only fruit
Just look in the Amazon
For a Galaxy of alternatives
An Xperiance like no other
Knock here to use the Windows
If you want to escape the Androids
What do you think Alexa?
Or should we ask Siri?
But no-one asks Cortana.
Any more than anyone ever asked Jeeves
WikiLeaks will show us the way
To the whole truth
Or at least to aspects of the truth
Or an interpretation of the truth
The truth that will sell the most papers Continue reading The Future Is Bright
Who is this ‘Will Of The People’
He that cannot be denied
And must be honoured, revered and obeyed?
I can think of many Wills
But none that strike me
As being ‘Of The People’
Not the Conqueror I’d wager
Or the one who liked Orange
And certainly neither Pitt Junior
Nor indeed Senior
And it really doesn’t seem
Like it was Wilberforce’s thing
I doubt very much it’s
Shakespeare or Wordsworth
Popular in their own way
But less influential to modern ears
Than perhaps they were in days gone by Continue reading The Will Of The People
I didn’t start this blog to discuss politics. I know nothing about politics really.
Aside from what you’d expect a really intelligent person to know. Who is also staggeringly handsome, athletic and charming. I know about as much as someone who’d fit that description. I’m not saying that I fit that description. That’s not for me to say.
But I do. And I’m also immensely modest.
But enough about me.
And more about politics.
Because even if I don’t want to talk about politics, the world just keeps on making me. Continue reading Shock News – Nothing Is Surprising Anymore
Four and half months on and Brexit is still very much the issue ‘du jour’ on this side of the Atlantic. Other things have, of course, happened. Some as a direct result of the cataclysmic decision by the British electorate on the 23rd June, others entirely unrelated. Some of these should have distracted us, at least momentarily from Brexit, but, for the most part, it remains the unsightly elephant in the room. Or perhaps I mean the opposite of that. The elephant in the room is of course something that we shouldn’t ignore but we all do. Brexit is pretty much the ‘anti-elephant’. At this point we should be ignoring it but we can’t quite manage it. There are other things at play and Brexit can, and in fact will, have to wait. Continue reading As Far As Ballot-Box Bombshells Go, What Could Possibly Trump Brexit?
Despite recent evidence to the contrary, this blog is not meant to be about political commentary. It’s meant to be a whimsical collection of bad poetry, rants about soup and toilet-based anecdotes.
But the fallout of Brexit continues to dominate the news and as a citizen of the soon-to-be-former EU member state, I feel I should comment on it. Continue reading Bregrets, I’ve Had A Few
The dust is starting to settle and apparently the apocalypse hasn’t happened.
But the post-Brexit UK does feel different and none of us are quite sure what to make of it.
For starters, my blog seems to have gone from random nonsense to political commentary. Perhaps I should rectify that, but then politics did just get very interesting again. It’s not necessarily for the right reasons but it’s hard to deny that the British people are engaged with political debate in a way that they haven’t been for some time.
There was definitely some interest and debate before the referendum took place but since the result was announced it’s all anyone is talking about.
Well that and football. Continue reading James Remains