I enjoy a good biscuit as much as anyone. Pre-pandemic, when I used to have to attend meetings in person, I always felt slightly less hostile towards the meeting organiser if there were biscuits available. Not that biscuits could ever truly redeem any meeting, but when they were available they could help to ease…
Tag: rant
James Complains About Plumbers
Ok, it’s been a while since I did a ‘James Complains’, so just a reminder that nothing here is to be taken too seriously. There are bigger problems in the world than my relationship with plumbers. And if you are a plumber reading this, then please be aware that I am very much against the…
James Complains About January
I’m writing this in what can only be described as a foul mood. Christmas now seems but a distant memory and, although I’m sure I enjoyed it at the time, the net result of the recent festive period is that I’m now poor and fat. The return to the daily grind has left me so…
James Complains About Brexit
“The terrible irony is that the vast majority of the people who voted to leave are the ones who will be most adversely affected. The most extreme example of turkeys voting for Christmas I can recall.” This morning I was awoken gently by Mrs Proclaims who broke the news to me of Britain’s collective…
James Complains About People Who Complain About Stuff
I’ve done it this time – a title loaded with irony. A contradiction in terms. If that isn’t ‘click-bait’ to the internet browsing masses then I don’t know what is. Ok I probably don’t know what is. Or rather I do know, and indeed my title is not it. But I’d wager it’s a little…
James Complains About Stupid Retailers
I do most of my shopping online. I’m not especially a cliché of masculinity that detests the idea of actually going into shops. I like going into shops and looking at stuff I might want to own. I’m very much a consumer in spirit and there are lots of things that I think, if I owned…
James Complains About The Inappropriate Disposal Of Disposable Pants
To label the space in front of my house as a ‘garden’ would be somewhat overselling it. A tiny patch of gravel does not constitute a garden. Equally, a few years back, when the estate agent tried to convince me that it was suitable for ‘off-road’ parking, I was also a little sceptical. But my…
James Complains About Ironing
The Iron Man comic books and films would probably have captured the imagination of the public a little less if his main super power was removing the creases from clothes. But if someone offered to do that for me they would certainly be my superhero of choice. Given the options of battling the forces of…
James Complains About The Complexity Of Soup
Today’s diatribe is, as ever, about something trivial and unimportant that doesn’t really have any relevance to my daily existence. Nonetheless, it did dominate my thoughts for a whole thirty minutes or so earlier this week.
James Complains About Monkey Monkey Monkey
You’d never know it to look at me but I’m reasonably fit. Not athletic you understand. I have no actual ability when it comes to sport, but when it comes to taking part there are few people as gifted as me at ‘making up the numbers’. I’m even a member of a local gym. Sometimes…
James Complains – About An Unplanned Nap
No-one loves an afternoon nap more than me. It’s a fundamental part of the working day as far as I am concerned… I jest, of course- I’m a teacher, if I were to fall asleep at work I’d no doubt wake up with a very different hairstyle, a creatively drawn moustache and, in the same…
James Complains About People He Doesn’t Like
I think I’m often misrepresented as someone who doesn’t really like other people. I’m overly sarcastic and it’s been suggested more than once that I don’t suffer fools gladly. I suppose that’s true, I don’t ‘suffer’ anything gladly. Who suffers gladly? But I’ve got nothing against fools who don’t make me suffer. In actual fact…
James Complains – About A Sore Throat
Before I begin this particular diatribe, I need to point out that this is part of the, now regular, ‘James Complains’ feature of this blog, so even though I’m not really that ill and I’m bearing up quite well, this feature is very much focused on my ability to whinge about things that don’t really…
James Complains – About A Shouty Man
Friday’s post signalled an end to my Blogging 101 days. Technically there were some follow-up tasks to do on the weekend, but I’d already decided the course was over, so there was no going back. However the final task did lead me to contemplate what regular features I might run on this blog, and the…
James Proclaims! 