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The Iron Man comic books and films would probably have captured the imagination of the public a little less if his main super power was removing the creases from clothes.

But if someone offered to do that for me they would certainly be my superhero of choice.

Given the options of battling the forces of evil or making sure that my shirts are neatly pressed, I know I’d much rather take on a crazed megalomaniac and several well armed henchmen over battling with my crumpled laundry.

Why is there this obsession with needing to look smart anyway?

It’s the weekend now and I’m wearing trackie bottoms and an old rugby shirt. And do you know what? I’m really comfortable.

Why does convention dictate that I have to be neatly pressed and presentable but ultimately less comfortable in order to do my job well?

I’d possibly be all for it if my work clothes were a bit more bespoke. I could totally get on board with the James Bond thing. We have the same first name after all, so why not the same tailor?

But my budget is distinctly ‘off the peg’ and thus ill fitting. So I don’t look especially good wearing my work clothes anyway.

And all I’m saying is that if I’ve got to wear clothes that don’t especially flatter me, then trackie bottoms and rugby shirts are a far more comfortable way of doing this.

But what especially irks me about my work clothes is the ironing. It’s so time consuming and boring.

I’ve lost most of Saturday to this accursed activity.

Admittedly that’s because I had a lot of ironing to do.

I’ve been avoiding it for weeks.

This week I plumbed the depths of my wardrobe and found myself pairing ties with ill-matched casual shirts in order to avoid the necessary pressing of my formal shirts.

Not that my work shirts should need ironing. They all purport to be ‘non-iron’ on the labels. But they come out of the washing machine as crumpled as everything else. Which leads me to believe that ‘non-iron’ just means ‘not as hard to iron’. Which isn’t the same thing at all.

If I were a litigious man then the CEO of Marks and Spencer would be trembling in his ‘Autograph’ boots right now (to non UK readers, that’s funny because ‘Autograph’ is one of the many own brand labels that Marks and Spencer stocks. To UK readers, I am aware that it isn’t really that funny).

I’ve not had any issues with my more casual attire this week, because apparently it’s ok to wear casual clothes to work if you pretend that you genuinely believe that they are formal. People then just think that you’re not very stylish. I’m prepared to have my fashion sense brought into question if it means I can avoid ironing for a little longer.

I really hate ironing.

15 thoughts on “James Complains About Ironing

  1. I know the feeling and its why I left the royal navy I got so fed up with getting told to get my haircut but I must admit that once I went to sea and James you will like this bit, there was a Chinese laundry on board. What bliss and we had a tot of rum and free beer in those halcyon days. No wonder there was a song, ‘What shall we do with the drunken sailor?’
    I was happy to leave though but yes I can and do iron my things just don’t let them pile up.

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  2. I avoided it for the entire summer holidays. Then did the same with the first half term – 14 weeks of ironing is pretty shameful. Plus it says we own far too many clothes. In my defence, if everything was ironed at once we’d have no wardrobe space!
    Been told I need to dress up as a superhero for Children in Need. Thinking of just having a t-shirt with ‘My name is Tony’ printed on it and taking the ever growing pile along with the board. I doubt the kids will get it…

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    1. You’re right – the kids would never get it. It would be awesome though. I like the idea that avoiding ironing conserves wardrobe space. I’m going to tell myself that one next time my ironing hits crisis stage.

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  3. HO! I’m not only off-the-peg, but “upcycled” when it comes to clothing. Ironing and dusting are both potentially bad for your health, you know (burns, and sneezing, all that.) But that’s not what I came in here for. Question: would I have permission to use some of your poetry on my new poetry category on my site??

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  4. Ah, it’s so much easier being a girl, and not having to wear a suit 🙂 I generally only buy stuff that won’t need ironed – and if it does, a wee pile gathers of unworn clothes. I used to iron the Kid’s school uniform, so that in public he looked cared for. Then I realised that if I hung his trousers up to dry with seam matched to seam, I didn’t have to iron. I stopped doing his polo shirts because I realised they were always covered with a sweatshirt – plus body heat would draw out the creases. And who irons sweatshirts?? I do however, have a thing about ironing the kitchen table cloth – a curious quirk in my otherwise undomesticated nature.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep I definitely wouldn’t iron a sweatshirt and the body heat thing does work on most clothes, but my work shirts won’t comply for some reason. Even the ones that claim to be ‘non-iron’. I think it’s a government conspiracy to keep me in my place…

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  5. The whole “non-iron” thing is most certainly a government conspiracy to keep all the peons in their place. You see if we all have to spend so much time ironing or finding an excuse for not doing so and explaining our non-actions to others and worrying about the others and what they think of us, why, there’s no time to complain about taxes and such. At least that’s my perspective.

    Liked by 1 person

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