To label the space in front of my house as a ‘garden’ would be somewhat overselling it. A tiny patch of gravel does not constitute a garden. Equally, a few years back, when the estate agent tried to convince me that it was suitable for ‘off-road’ parking, I was also a little sceptical. But my little car does just about fit onto the miniscule plot of land, and the kerb has been dropped, so for insurance purposes I can claim it to be such, and thus I do.

Garden, or undersized parking space, what is without doubt is that the land, however small, does belong to my lovely wife and I. It’s not much but it is ours.

So, in so far as it is possible, we like to keep it tidy. Not immaculate, you understand, I have neither the time nor the inclination to be outside on a daily basis maintaining a moderately functional patch of land. Indeed I spend less than sufficient time maintaining the actual garden at the back of the house, which has the potential to be something relatively pleasant one day, so anything more than a cursory ‘tidying up’ of the front would probably be overkill.

But occasionally I do feel the need to clear up the leaves and pick up any litter that has found it’s way onto my little bit of terrain.

We live on a fairly main road, with a lot of traffic going past on a daily basis, both vehicular and pedestrian. It does mean that a fair amount of litter does accumulate, which is not ideal, but I suppose it goes with the territory of living where we do. Main road aside, we like living where we do, so I suppose picking up litter is a small compromise that we have to endure.

And to a certain extent, picking up empty crisp packets and drinks cans is not an arduous chore. It’s usually a five minute job, that in truth, I don’t do quite as often as I should.

The other day however, as I was about to begin my morning commute, I discovered these next to my car.


Now it may not be obvious at first glance, what this a picture of. Even though I was ‘lucky’ enough to present at the scene, it took me a few moment s to discern what it was that I was looking at. But I’m fairly certain that ‘Exhibit A’ is a pair of disposable pants for a child. Training pants if you will, for when a child no longer needs nappies but isn’t quite ready for non-waterproof underwear.

No doubt a useful product and indeed a disposable one.

I don’t know if such a product comes with instructions, but I’m fairly certain that if it does, the guidance on disposal does not mention, in any capacity, my front ‘garden’

Because that would be inappropriate.

It’s pretty antisocial to drop litter anyway, but am I wrong in thinking that this might be a different level of antisocial to dropping a Twix wrapper?

It’s a moot point perhaps.

As it happens, right next to my car, on the tiny patch of land that is so abused, is a bin. Obviously I’d prefer it if the general public were not to use it, it is my bin and although I’m not one to become proprietorial over waste disposal facilities,  I manage to fill it reasonably well on my own during the two week cycle it takes for it to be emptied. Nonetheless, for the sake of clarity, if ever you do find yourself in front of my house with the urgent need to jettison a pair of disposable pants, I’m going to suggest that they be placed within the large bin, rather than on the ground next to the large bin.

Call me pedantic if you will, but that’s just how I feel on the matter.


9 thoughts on “James Complains About The Inappropriate Disposal Of Disposable Pants

  1. I work parking at the airshow, where I live. I usually tend a grass “lot” that is an overflow for the asphalt lots in the area. Invariably, there are multiple soiled diapers that creeps tossed under their car at some point. Yes, I get to pick them up. I’ve learned to bring disposable gloves. Worst thing about working parking.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Definitely not swimmers, which I think makes a small difference. and to be fair I don’t have to clean the ocean. But you’re right, it probably was the wind and it was only the work of thirty seconds to rectify the matter. But if I didn’t complain there would be no ‘James Complains’ and then where would we be?

      Liked by 1 person

  2. To complain is the God-given right to all who occupy this space we call home. I know I do more than my fair share of it. But you clearly had complaining rights for that little incident. Common courtesy is no more common than the proverbial common sense.

    Liked by 1 person

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