James Complains About Eggs-tremely Early Easter Eggs

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By anyone’s standards, Christmas is well and truly over for another year. I, alas, had to go back to work on the 3rd January, which seemed a little early given that it was very much within the 12 days of Christmas. I’m not sure it should really be legal to make people work while Christmas University Challenge is still being broadcast.

I watched that particular show avidly. Mrs Proclaims and I are fans of the main show anyway, although I find it perplexingly difficult to get the questions right. I find for the ‘celebrity’ Christmas edition though, they make the questions a bit easier so I’m able to feel artificially cleverer during the festive period.

It was with great pride that I saw my adopted town of Reading make it through to the final of the Christmas edition. It was with subsequent shame that I saw them fail to score a single point in said final. Technically I am both a current student and alumnus of Reading University (‘alumnus’ having already obtained a ‘professional’ accreditation from said institution and ‘current’ as I’m stumbling through my MA part time and at the slowest pace permissible) so the pride and shame of their success and ensuing failure was keenly felt. Continue reading James Complains About Eggs-tremely Early Easter Eggs

James Complains About The Perils Of Online Trouser Ordering

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Recently I ordered a pair of trousers from a well-known online retailer. I order lots of stuff online but very rarely trousers.

Normally I like to buy trousers in an actual shop because, in my experience, the various makers of trousers don’t seem to consult with each other when it comes to sizes and frankly, unless I try them on before I leave the shop, it’s something of a lottery as to whether they will fit or not. Continue reading James Complains About The Perils Of Online Trouser Ordering

James Complains About Stupid Retailers

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I do most of my shopping online. I’m not especially a cliché of masculinity that detests the idea of actually going into shops. I like going into shops and looking at stuff I might want to own. I’m very much a consumer in spirit and there are lots of things that I think, if I owned them, would make my life considerably better. Continue reading James Complains About Stupid Retailers

James Complains About ‘Black Friday – UK’

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I’ve been in work today. All day.

Because it is a normal working day in the UK.

Yet according to my email inbox and various media outlets, today is ‘Black Friday’, the ‘busiest shopping day of the year!’

Was it ever thus? Continue reading James Complains About ‘Black Friday – UK’

James Reviews – Fifty plastic money bags

Do you get really stressed when you’re at the checkout, and always pay with a note, even when you’ve got the exact change in your pocket?

Then these plastic money bags are absolutely essential!

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Because inevitably you’re going to have lots of loose change lying around.

And that can be annoying. Continue reading James Reviews – Fifty plastic money bags

Summer Wardrobe Essentials

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Early one morning
On a high street like any other
Before the retail giants had even begun to yawn
I saw a man asleep in a doorway

In the window of that same establishment
A well-known clothing outlet
Written in garish pink, were the words
‘Summer Wardrobe Essentials’ Continue reading Summer Wardrobe Essentials

Of Retail and Robins

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The walk to my local supermarket is eminently pleasant. It’s a twenty minute stroll through charming green parkland, alongside a canal, complete with lock and canal boats, and at one point a dramatic river crossing, which incorporates a stunning vista of the Thames in all its glory.

It makes me feel a little guilty that I tend to get my groceries delivered to my door. Not that guilty though – however pleasant the walk to the place, the actual experience of navigating around Tesco Extra, is never less than gruelling and the delivery service is very convenient. Continue reading Of Retail and Robins

Un-SUIT-able

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I only have one suit. It’s a really nice suit though.

I got married in it, so I really pushed the boat out and had it tailor-made. It is literally the most expensive thing I own apart from my house.

Since getting married in it I have worn it to numerous weddings, funerals, christenings and job interviews. I’ve had it for almost five years and it still looks awesome. Continue reading Un-SUIT-able