I only have one suit. It’s a really nice suit, though.

I got married in it, so I really pushed the boat out and had it tailor-made. It is literally the most expensive thing I own, apart from my house. Since getting married in it, I have worn it to numerous weddings, funerals, christenings, and job interviews. I’ve had it for almost five years and it still looks awesome.

I’ve been wearing it for the last two days at what can only be described as the most arduous job interview I’ve ever done. I didn’t get the job, but I was the sharpest-dressed candidate there. Clearly, they were looking for other qualities…

In my defence, I only applied on the off-chance. It would have been something like a 50% pay increase and moved me five years further on my career path than I have any right to be. And actually, the feedback I got was quite good. It was ultra-honest—I was told exactly what I did wrong and in great detail.

When my interviewer told me I was a good candidate in a strong field of candidates, just not the best on the day, I did feel inclined to believe her; her subsequent brutal honesty demonstrated that she wasn’t trying to make me feel better in any way. Also, there was a cull at the end of the first day and I survived, so I clearly wasn’t the worst candidate. In fact, out of the five who made it to interview, I came at least third.

Nonetheless, it’s never nice to give something your all and come up short. So I’m a bit down at the moment. I’ll get over it, though.

What I won’t get over is another suit-related moment I had recently.

This time, I was wearing my suit to a funeral. The funeral was in Kent and en route, my wife and I stopped off in Maidstone for a break. While there, we popped into Marks and Spencer—whereupon I was mistaken for an employee.

I was wearing my beautiful bespoke suit and someone thought I worked there. I’ve got nothing against people who work there, but I’m pretty sure that even the manager of Marks and Spencer wears a Marks and Spencer suit. And no disrespect to that particular retail outlet, but even their really nice suits aren’t as nice as mine.

Maybe I shouldn’t be that offended, though, because it seems the people of Maidstone have a history of thinking that I look like someone who works in retail. A few years back, when I actually lived in Kent and frequented Maidstone regularly, I was mistaken for an employee of (the now-defunct) JJB Sports.

Indeed, it appears as if the people of Maidstone think I have had quite a successful retail career, because manager of Marks and Spencer has to represent real progression from a shop assistant in JJB sports.

At least when I was in JJB Sports though, I was wearing trackie bottoms and a polo shirt, which, in fairness, might have made me look like an employee of a sports shop.

Whereas loads of people wear suits and don’t get mistaken for employees of Marks and Spencer.

And mine is a really nice suit.