Tag: toilet paper

A Poem About How Toilet Roll Went Away (Lest We Forget)

So rare once upon a timeNow in plentiful supplyYour absence was a real crime It never made much sense whyYou vanished from all the storesScarcity that made us cry And long queues outside shop doorsAfter panic most undueCaused multiple bog roll wars So it’s true that we missed youBecause many things may changeBut we’ll always…

Pandemical Positives

No-one loves a pandemic more than me. Then again, no-one loves a pandemic less than me. Because, presumably, no-one loves a pandemic. Except possibly toilet-paper manufacturers. But, on the whole, it’s fair to say that this whole pandemic malarkey is pretty bad news. Nevertheless, if you can shake off the never-ending panic and crippling fear…

Don’t Panic!

In these unusual times, you do start to reassess your values and priorities and begin to focus on what’s really important. And for the people of Britain, what’s really important appears to be toilet paper. It’s one of the cornerstones of our national identity apparently. I had eschewed the supermarkets in recent days but ventured…

Issues With Tissues (And Other Toiletries)

The world has gone mad and I, apparently, have joined them. For today I visited no less than nine supermarkets in a bid to get supplies for the seemingly inevitable period of self-isolation that awaits me. I have no symptoms of COVID-19 at the time of writing, and indeed know of no-one personally who does.…

James Reviews Sudoku Themed Toilet Paper

What do you get the man who has everything? Probably not Sudoku Loo Roll. He’ll already have some if he’s got everything and no-one needs two rolls of Sudoku themed toilet paper. But if you’re trying to buy a gift for the man who never really wants anything, then Sudoku Loo Roll could well be…