As I write this, Little Proclaims is in the process of ‘being put to bed’ by Mrs Proclaims. My eldest daughter was never a great sleeper, but has improved over the years, and now, incentivised by her new ‘rewards chart’ is beginning to turn in at a time of day which is quite reasonable. The rewards chart has been specifically designed to help Little Proclaims make positive choices. Because good behaviour can be purchased and I’m not above bribery.
However her younger sister comfortably fills the evening void she has left. Mini Proclaims is far more amenable to bedtime than her older sibling, but the Proclaims girls currently share a room. Mainly because we live in a house which only has two bedrooms.There is the potential to improve our abode via a loft conversion or similar, but finances are less than optimal at the moment due to the fact that I am the only member of my household in gainful employment. This is mainly down to my wife’s endeavours to obtain her PhD. Which she has been doing forever, because she elected to complete her doctoral studies alongside our venture into parenting. Two bouts of maternity leave can really eke out a PhD as it turns out.
Also, someone called Liz Truss claimed she would be a good Prime Minister last year, and it turns out she was overshooting and she broke the economy. So the mortgage is quite expensive at the moment. As is everything else.
So as things stand our daughters have to share a room. Which is mainly fine and something they are both happy about. But sometimes they are a little too happy about it and were we to try and send them to bed at the same time, we might as well remove all the bedroom furniture and install a bouncy castle.
There is, therefore a routine of sorts. Little Proclaims goes down first, and Mini Proclaims gets to enjoy an hour or so of ‘daddy-time’. I say enjoy. That may be overstating things. Little Proclaims has always been a ‘daddy’s girl’. Mini Proclaims is quite open about how much she prefers her mother. She doesn’t dislike me, but she is quite clear that I should not get ideas above my station.
Indeed, the current arrangement of Mrs Proclaims putting the older child to bed, while I occupy myself with the younger one, is specifically designed to convince our children that we’re both competent and they don’t need to have a favourite parent.
Any more that we would have a favourite child.
And I don’t have a favourite child. I love them both.
But as I watch Mini Proclaims filling my shoes with Rice Crispies, it’s hard not to take that a little personally. Little Proclaims has never put any food in my shoes.
James Proclaims! 
12 responses to “Children Of The Night”
Amazing metaphor skills shown by mini P…
…when it comes to the crunch, well, you can’t beat Rice Crispies. Favourite daughter? it’s a shoe-in.
Phd. Please help dad, it’s a long road!
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A long road indeed. And in very crunchy shoes
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LOL.
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“…good behaviour can be purchased and I’m not above bribery…” There’s wisdom in that. Your daughter sharing her Rice Krispies with you is wonderful. Wait until she adds the milk.
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She did add some yoghurt to my trousers earlier.
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Hey, you sound just like someone who used to blog here regularly!
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I think you’ll find that I’m much better than him
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Oh I do hope so!
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Room-sharing works till when the first of the Proclomations reach 12-13 when ‘I WANT MY SPACE’ literally kicks in. Trust me. (No, I didn’t say Truss me. You’ve already been burned there, by the sounds of it.)
I’m amazed your house hasn’t previously been lofted. Most of what I saw, at least in London on my last flying visit seems to have been done decades back. There’s little awkward looking flimsy aluminium windows and lifting-at-the-edge roof tiles ruining every skyline.
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Weirdly we do have the window but nothing else. But the Reading skyline is hard to ruin so in any case.
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EVERYBODY has a favourite child. It is usually somebody else’s…
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Hard to disagree with that.
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