Always Read The Label

It’s Friday, which is the day that, when I can be bothered, I post something that I claim is art, even though it really isn’t.

Even accepting the notion that art is in the eye of the beholder, and that anything can therefore qualify as art, it would be a stretch to claim I’ve actually achieved anything remotely artistic with my ‘Artist’s Corner’ feature.

But today that’s about to change because, ladies and gentlemen of the blogosphere, I give you this masterpiece:

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Now you might claim that all I’ve done here is rip the label off a tin of tomatoes and replaced it with a white self adhesive label onto which I’ve written the word worms.

And you’d be right, that is all I’ve done.

It isn’t an actual can of worms and not even a particularly gullible small child would fall for it. Mrs Proclaims was, nonetheless, a tad apprehensive when I opened the above can earlier this week to make a sea food pasta dish. She ate it but she did eye the squid with a little more suspicion than usual.

But it is art nonetheless, because my ‘can of worms’ is representative of all of the metaphorical ‘cans of worms’ being opened at the moment, all over the world (but often by one man in particular…).

When you think about it I’ve been very very clever here.

Probably the most clever of all the artists.

 

You’ll be egg-static when you read this post – it’s full of egg-cellent yolks

Welcome to another ‘Artist’s Corner’, the regular feature on my blog, which imaginary critics are calling “absolutely pointless” and “the worst thing I’ve ever seen on any blog ever”.

Some pretty hurtful imaginary comments there but regardless I press on with my poor attempts at art.

Normally I’d unveil a fairly rubbish drawing at this point but this week I decided to use the camera bit on my phone to create some ‘concept’ art.

Actually there’ll be a few of these coming up in the next few weeks – I did get a little ‘snap-happy’ once I started.

To begin with though I drew a face on an egg. Hence the ‘egg-based’ puns which featured heavily in the title to this post but have been strangely absent in the post itself.

I expect there’ll be some in the comments though – and yes dear readers that is an invitation to make some egg-based puns in the comments. I’ll be disappointed if there aren’t any now.

Also, if you’re in the mood, you can come up with a name for my little friend.

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But not Eggy McEggface.

I think we’re all better than that.

And also it’s probably best to not get too attached – the morning after I took that photo he made a rather delicious omelette.

99

The number ’99’ is surprisingly ubiquitous. One shy of the more well-rounded ‘100’, ’99’ could well have been lost in the shadows of its more illustrious neighbour. After-all ‘100’ is a power of ten, that most noble of numeric families upon which the decimal system is entirely dependent. Our understanding of currency, measurements (presuming one uses the more sensible metric system over the perplexingly inconsistent imperial system) and even, to a certain extent, time (ok not really – seconds, minute, hours, days, weeks, months and years have little to do with decimalisation but when we get to the big measurements – decades, centuries and millennia – my point (sort of) stands) is all dependent on powers of ten.

For ’99’ to have carved out not one, but several identities, against that back drop, is pretty impressive. Ok there are occasions when the success of ’99’ is linked to its proximity to 100 – how many times are items priced at 99p, or £1.99, £2.99 (feel free to insert your own currency here if you don’t regularly use the rapidly diminishing pound as your money of choice) to create the illusion they’re cheaper than they really are (I’m not paying £3 for that mug when I can get this one for £2.99)? Continue reading 99

Free As A Bird

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Another Monday and another ‘Artists Corner’.

Except that I’m supposed to do these on a Friday according to my 2017 blogging schedule.

Monday is ‘long post day’.

But, after another week of stress in the world of work, I continue to be a little out of synch with the blogosphere.

In the greater scheme of things it doesn’t really matter. There are bigger things in this world to worry about.

Like the fact that tomorrow is my birthday and I have to go to work. I hate working on my birthday.

Anyway, I’ll probably post something tomorrow about that. And I’ll expect my comments section to be full of birthday wishes.

Back to today though and I’m belatedly posting my weekly contribution to Haylee’s Moodle Army.

This week she gave us free rein to do what we want.

So I was going to do something depicting a lion who had escaped from his cage (so ‘free’, but also ‘reign’ because the lion is the king of all the animals.), but upon his escape he was going to have set up a business selling spring water and he’d be selling the bottles as a ‘3 for 2’ offer (so ‘sort-of-free’ rain).

In the end that seemed like quite an ambitious proposal for someone with my artistic skills so I drew this pigeon instead.

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Outside The Comfort Zone

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It finally happened, after nearly three months of following a fairly consistent blogging schedule (longer posts on Monday, approximations of poetry on Wednesdays and a slightly rubbish doodle on Fridays) I’ve managed to fall behind.

I’m not worried, I regularly disappeared for weeks on end in 2016 and, nearly three full months in, 2017 is already looking like a significantly better blogging year. Not necessarily a better year in any other respect, although 2016 is oft much maligned as the ‘worst year ever’ and certainly Brexit and Trump made it a pretty bad year politically and lots of celebrities dying made it bad year for people who like celebrities, and I wouldn’t say 2016 was a vintage year for me personally because it wasn’t, but I’d be hard-pressed to say that it was manifestly worse than 2015 in that respect. So far 2017, while seemingly better on the ‘celebrities dying’ front (as far as I’m aware), is still suffering from the ridiculousness of Donald over there and the imminent triggering of Article 50 over here. On a personal level, there is much to be optimistic about but little in the way of the ‘realisation’ of any of that, so, while 2017 has not been significantly worse than 2015 or 2016, I’m not sure I could claim it’s been much better. But it’s early days and there’s the potential for some personal growth in the next few months.

But the last few weeks have been arduous and I’ve been maintaining a blogging schedule that is reasonably consistent against the backdrop of a job that is, at times, more than a little challenging. I like a challenge, I don’t want to be bored at work, but ‘challenging’ can be synonymous with ‘time-consuming’.

So missing a couple of scheduled blog posts is not the end of the world. Continue reading Outside The Comfort Zone

Super Moodles

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Just as the working week was getting a bit too much to handle, Friday has swooped in to save us.

Friday is my favourite day for many reasons.

Well one reason mainly.

Which is obviously the weekend, and all the ‘not-having-to-go-to-work’ that that entails.

But I also like Friday because that is the day I’ve chosen for my regular foray into the visual arts.

And this week, like for the last seven weeks, I’m participating in Haylee’s (off of Aloada Bobbins) regular Moodle Army challenge.

This week’s challenge was to BECOME THE HERO OF OUR OWN STORY!

I think this could be interpreted in so many ways. Maybe I could have drawn something that represents my greatest strengths. Or a moment when I was truly the hero of the hour. It has happened. And not just metaphorically.

Well mostly metaphorically.

However, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to draw myself as my favourite superhero.

But who to pick?

Superman was always one of my favourites as a small child. I used to have a Superman costume and I loved the Christopher Reeves films.

Well the first two anyway.

Then again, Spider-Man was also great. I didn’t have the costume but I really wanted the costume. And if my love of Superman waned a little as I got older, I still thought Spider-Man was pretty cool well into my teens.

These days, though, it’s hard to get past Batman. I think I’d make a brilliant Batman. If I was a billionaire. And good at fighting . And had led a significantly more tragic life.

So which hero to portray myself as for the Moodle Army Challenge?

In the end I couldn’t pick so I chose all three.

So here is a picture of SuperSpiderBatJames. Evildoers beware!

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Heralding Another Moodle

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Another Friday, another ‘Artist’s Corner’. Once again the inspiration for this week’s masterpiece comes from the marvellous Moodle Army Challenge from Haylee’s Aloada Bobbins.

This week the challenge was to ‘Blow your own trumpet’.

I don’t have a musical bone in my body. I own a five-stringed electric guitar. I’ve modified it from the usual six-stringed instrument through a dedicated lack of maintenance and care, which has taken me several years to perfect.

I sometimes still like to strum it but aside from muscle memory enabling me to remember how to play the first few chords of Green Day’s ‘Basket Case’, a perennial favourite from my teenage years, I can’t remember how to play very much at all.

I sometimes think I would like to learn to play again, but to what end I’m not sure. I’m unlikely to be headlining Glastonbury anytime soon.

Or ever.

And if I can’t play the guitar, I certainly can’t play the trumpet.

But I can blow my own ‘metaphorical’ trumpet rather well.

I know what I’m good at.

Which is no small amount of things.

For example I can differentiate between the various remote controls which form part of my TV viewing experience these days.

I can usually put together flat-pack furniture on my own, even when the instructions advise that two people should be involved.

I can cook a mean boil-in-the-bag rice.

However, one of the things in this world that I’m less good at is drawing.

But I’d never let something like a total lack of talent and ability stop me from doing anything.

And so here is a picture of me blowing my own trumpet:

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And here is Green Day with the aforementioned ‘Basket Case’:

 

 

So Sally Can Wait

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Welcome to another ‘Artist’s Corner’. Yet again the inspiration for this week’s oeuvre comes courtesy of the Moodle Army Challenge from Haylee’s Aloada Bobbins.

This weeks challenge was to ‘Look Back’.

I’ve been feeling quite nostalgic lately, not least because of the recent ‘Stuff I used to do but don’t do any more’ series of posts that I’ve been writing. Clearly the blogosphere enjoys a bit of nostalgia too because parts 1 and 2 are currently the most popular posts I’ve ever written for this blog.

Anyway, enough self-congratulating, (although clearly part 3 has a lot to live up to…) the point is that I have been ‘looking back’ quite a lot recently. Continue reading So Sally Can Wait

Jedi James

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Time again for another ‘Artist’s Corner’.

Once again I’m participating in the Moodle Army Challenge from Haylee’s Aloada Bobbins.

This week’s challenge is to PUT YOURSELF AT THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE!

I wasn’t really sure how to interpret this one to be honest. Disappointingly I couldn’t think of a clever play on words. I considered drawing a half man/half horse combination in space and dubbing it ‘The Centaur of the Universe’ but that seemed beyond my level of artistic skill and, also, I’m not sure it would have been that funny. We’ll never know though because I didn’t do that.

Instead I thought an appropriately tenuous link might be to just to draw something space-related. Continue reading Jedi James

The Luck Of The Drawing

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Friday is normally my favourite day of the week, but when it comes at the end of a week when I’ve been off work anyway, it’s less of a good thing.

Fortunately, Friday seems to be becoming the day I post my contribution to the ever growing Moodle Army – brought to you by Haylee from Aloada Bobbins. The entire point of the Moodle Army is to draw doodles that make you happy and I was certainly more upbeat once I’d completed this one.

This week’s challenge was to ‘Draw Your Lucky Charm’

I don’t really have a lucky charm but I pondered the theme nonetheless and my response is this:

Lucky Charms Aren’t ‘Lucky’ For Everyone…

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