Category: Poetry
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I used to write poems a lotThen for a while I did notBut I thought I might try againAnd I have decided when Each Friday…
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Weeds are growing fastBut the grass won’t grow as allStill the lawn is green
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November virusSlightly worse than other coldsBecause November
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PhotocopierReliably deliversDaily paper jam
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Very bad morningOnly one real solutionA bacon sandwich
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Health advice asideSugar’s temporary highGets me through most days
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The anti-woke brigadeAre angry that a major UK supermarket chainHas cancelled ChristmasBy capitulating to the woke brigadeAnd ‘re-branding’ an artificial Christmas treeAs an ‘Evergreen Tree’And…
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Today is FridayBut it is not Black FridayThat is next FridayBut Black Friday Week is hereSo is today Grey Friday?
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Emails in inboxAlways generate more workUnless left unread
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Post-it notes are greatFor doodling on while busyProcrastinating
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Early Christmas cardA little bit prematureBut still brings a smile
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Lest we all forgetThe true meaning of ChristmasIs availableTo buy instore and onlineFor the whole of November
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Saturdays with kidsA little less assuasiveThan a box of frogs
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There is more to lifeThan a cold Friday night beerBut not on Friday
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There’s so much to doAnd lots of time to do itBut I don’t want to
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The daily commuteA perfect time to reflectOn daily commutes
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Alcohol-free beerHas all of the caloriesAnd none of the fun
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ProcrastinationDelayed gratificationWithout the delay
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I respect cyclistsAnd their right to use all roadsNot on my commute
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My children assertA sentence is less funnyWithout the word poo
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Children are asleepThe TV is mine at lastTo dose in front of
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I first drank a mochaccino in the late 1990sIt genuinely blew my mindUntil then I had been contentWith a middle-of-the rangeInstant coffee at homeBold Glend…
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This week I started wearing new clothes to workClothes largely in the style of my other work attireBut newer versions of themNew shoes, new trousers…
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Oh how we celebrateWhen our small child defecatesIn a plastic potty What makes us so happyIs the absence of a nappyAnd no poo on the…
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I don’t wish to sound ungratefulMy weekends are never hatefulBut sometimes they can be quite dullThough busy and quite often full Straightforward as weekends can…
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Sometimes I don’t pay attentionWhich may be a bone of contentionA potential source of tensionBeyond my own comprehensionIrrespective of my intentionBut perhaps it is worth…
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My house smells of binMuch to my chagrinIf my house were an innI would not check-inBecause it smells of bin The unpleasant scentNow ever-presentDoes not…
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Today I saw a fat ratNot a fat catOr a plump batOr a rotund gnatBut a ratThat was fat Perhaps I lack tactBut I think…
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As we said goodbye to JanuaryAnd associated fadsSuch as Veganuary(In which I did not participateOut of sympathy to vegetariansWho surely must feel a levelOf antipathy…
James Proclaims! 