James Proclaims!

I’m waiting in for a man
Who can fix my roof
Because I can’t fix my roof
I’m rather lacking in that skill
The man is now 45 minutes late
Of his revised ETA
An ETA he only told me about
When he was already 30 minutes late
For the original appointment
Which was at a time he suggested
And which, to accommodate him
I rearranged existing plans

I really need not to have a broken roof
At any time of year
But especially during
What has thus far
Been a fairly wet January
Albeit we’re only five days in

At this point
I might be inclined to suggest
That I’ll take my business elsewhere
But after frantically calling several roofers
All of whom profess to offer
An emergency 24/7 service
He was the only person who returned my call
With any kind of offer to come out

After a similar experience with plumbers
Over the years
I have turned my hand
To amateur plumbing
With varying degrees of success
And not too many spectacular failures
But I don’t think I possess the skills
Nor indeed the ladders
Required to fix a roof

And while one might question
The wisdom
Of my trial and error
Approach to plumbing
The worst that ever happened
Was a wet floor
Which required a lot of subsequent mopping

Were I to attempt to fix my roof
I would be unlikely to need
Any kind of mop
As I would more likely
Be the mess that would need cleaning up

So as annoying as it is
To sit around waiting for a roofer
I think on this occasion
That patience might be more than a virtue