James Proclaims!

I’m slightly obsessed with Black Friday. I don’t wait in anticipation for the amazing unbeatable deals on offer in the ‘events’ that various retailers claim are their ‘Biggest Black Friday Deals Ever!’

No, I find the whole thing preposterous, particularly living in a country, which does not celebrate Thanksgiving and where the concept didn’t exist until 2014. Black Friday itself and the accompanying Black Friday Week and indeed Black Friday Month are ridiculous notions at their best and fairly offensive at their worst. I have been particularly irked by a recent trend for referring to whole thing as Black Fri-Yay.

But I’m re-treading old ground. I wrote about this in 2015 and again in 2017 and though it’s been some time since those posts hit the blogosphere, I really have nothing new to bring to my arguments against the madness.

However, I seem to be in the minority. Black Friday and its accompanying precursors, appear to be here to stay and apparently something to celebrate.

Indeed I get the sense that to some purveyors of overpriced goods, we should now be viewing Black Friday in the same light as Christmas. To that end, I’ve repurposed the Christmas song The Twelve Days of Christmas to make a new Black Friday singalong. Obviously there are more than 12 days of Black Friday. I think we can count at least 40. But let’s pretend there are 12 for these purposes. It’s only a bit of fun after all.

You all know how the original goes and you’ll be aware the we start on the first day and go through quite a lot of repetition until we end up on day 12. But I’ve chosen only to share the twelfth day below, because if you are keen to adopt this as your Black Friday anthem, then you should have the requisite skills to extrapolate the whole song out of the material below. If you can’t do that, you might want to try a different blog, as this might be too advanced for you. I’m not here to judge, but I do expect my readers to do some of the work.

Anyway, without further ado, here is an excerpt from The Twelve Days Of Black Fridaymas:

On the twelfth day of Black Fridaymas, my true love (of bargains) sent to me:

Twelve drones with cameras
Eleven paper shredders
Ten Lego landmarks
Nine laptop desk stands
Eight decks for mixing
Seven Samsung speakers
Six games for playing
Five rose gold…er…things?
Four casual shirts
Three French presses
Two turtle necks
And a car fridge that I didn’t need