In January 2007 I got locked in a toilet. Not an actual toilet, that would be all kinds of weird. I’ve never seen fit to climb into an actual toilet. To be entirely accurate, I got locked in a room with a toilet in it. In the UK we often refer to that room…
Category: Anecdote
Going With The Flow
Though I allude to it rarely, I have stated elsewhere on this site that I am, by profession, a teacher. I don’t like to mention it often because this blog is meant to be a kind of escapism from the daily grind and though things happen at work, from time to time, that amuse me,…
A Tale Of Bowie, Gatecrashers And Too Much Vodka
A day after posting a poem that laments the fact that I’m too busy to blog, I find myself shirking my not inconsiderable workload in order to blog again. Which rather belies the message in my last post. In point of fact I am too busy to post regularly at the moment but I felt…
Say Hello To My Little Friend
This is Humpty. You might know him better as Mr Dumpty. But I call him Humpty, because we’re on first name terms. Humpty and I have been friends since I was but a small child. Humpty was made by my amazingly talented aunt. My Humpty is not the original Humpty. The original Humpty was an…
An Infusiasm For Tea
Unlike me, my other half is not a coffee drinker. When I first met her, she mostly consumed diet cola, but she’s moved on from that phase and will now indulge in hot drinks like a proper adult. Most often in polite company, she’ll go for an English Breakfast tea without milk (she doesn’t ask…
Way Of The Sloth
Last night I did Kung Fu. It’s not unusual for me to do this on a Thursday night. It’s when the class is. I say I did Kung Fu, the instructor may disagree with my assertion that what I did last night was Kung Fu. He may, in fact, suggest that what I was doing…
Nee Naw
Sometimes I find it difficult to motivate myself to do anything. It’s not depression or anything like that. It’s just hard to inspire yourself when you’ve already achieved everything you ever wanted to… Well maybe not everything, I still have ambitions, but anything that happens from now on will always pale into insignificance now that…
Baking Bad
As I’ve stated previously, I enjoy a coffee on my way into to work of a morning. I’ve also shared the fact that I enjoy breakfast. Sometimes I combine these two pleasures and purchase both at the same outlet. I’m quite astute like that. One of these outlets has a proprietor who reminds me quite…
Guitar Hero
My imitation Fender Stratocaster only has five strings. The ‘high’ E snapped about five years ago and I haven’t bothered to replace it. It’s also out of tune. I’ve had it since I was fifteen, which is now a scarily long time ago. Back when I was in secondary school I was briefly in a band.…
Livid Leprechaun
Reading’s local rugby team is called London Irish. It’s a strange name for a team that is evidently not based in London, and has limited links to Ireland. Historically it had both of those things going for it, originally being set up as a club for Irish people who were living in London. The name…
Glorious Gluttony
I went to the pub last night. I didn’t drink that much, but I ended up being a tiny bit drunk. Certainly I was drunk enough that when I went to the chip shop on the way home I bought a significantly larger amount of food than I would have had I not been imbibing…
Un-SUIT-able
I only have one suit. It’s a really nice suit though. I got married in it, so I really pushed the boat out and had it tailor-made. It is literally the most expensive thing I own apart from my house. Since getting married in it I have worn it to numerous weddings, funerals, christenings and…
Mug Mugging
This is no ordinary ceramic mug; this is a mug that I purchased from the Manchester Museum gift shop in November 2006. “Big Deal!” I hear you cry. Anyone could buy a mug from the Manchester Museum gift shop. Well anyone who pays a visit to the Manchester Museum could anyway. True enough and certainly…
James Proclaims! 