Category: Humour
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As if oft the case, it is Saturday afternoon as I write this. Little Proclaims and I are sitting at the dining table, while Mrs…
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Most weekdays I’m not involved in the process of feeding my children. By the time I get home from work, Mrs Proclaims has taken care…
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It is February half term in the UK, and being an employee of an institution that allegedly provides education to young people, I have the…
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When I was a child, TV in the UK consisted of four channels. In England that would have been BBC1, BBC2, ITV and Channel 4.…
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As we said goodbye to JanuaryAnd associated fadsSuch as Veganuary(In which I did not participateOut of sympathy to vegetariansWho surely must feel a levelOf antipathy…
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In all likelihood this will be the last thing I post in January 2024 because January 2024 is almost over. As Januaries go, this has…
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Prior to becoming a parent, I had no idea what ‘soft play’ was. Indeed for quite some time after becoming a parent I was only…
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Every Saturday, during term time, I take Little Proclaims to French School. In spite of the fact that I, as a child, hated every second…
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It is Sunday afternoon as I write this. Mini Proclaims is napping, having recently covered herself and much of the dining table in my home-made sweet…
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Assuming that I finish writing this post and deem it worthy of publication (and the quality control on my blog is such that if I…
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Like most of its predecessors, 2024 is a year. Whether it is a good year or a bad year (or a blameless measurement of time…
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According to my understanding of the Gregorian calendar, today is the last day of the year that I have mainly been referring to as ‘2023’.…
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Old Christmas tree, Old Christmas tree!How are thy leaves so plastic!Old Christmas tree, Old Christmas tree,I’m not being sarcastic In the loft in the summertime,I…
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I’m not dreaming of a white ChristmasJust like the ones I’ve never knownWith my gas bill risingThere’s no disguisingThe last thing that I need is…
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Have yourself a calorific Christmas,Take another biteFrom now on,Our slippers will be out of sightHave yourself a lazy little Christmas,Eat the Yule-tide log,From now on,We’ll…
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Sirens blareAre you listeningIn the lanesDrivers bristlingA depressing sightIt’s crappy tonightSulking in a Christmas traffic jam Gone away is all hope nowHere to stay is…
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‘Twas the day after Christmas and all through the house, Not a calorie was burning, no-one would espouse, Any kind of activity, except watching telly,…
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As I write this, some potatoes are roasting in my oven. They are basking contently in olive oil, garlic and rosemary. I’m quietly confident they…
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It’s Christmas Eve once more and so once again the folly of my annual advent calendar of movies that are a bit Christmas(ish) must draw…
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I don’t know if 1990’s Home Alone is a good film or not. I honestly can’t be objective about it at all. I’m not sure…
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2008’s Step Brothers is very much the kind of movie you might expect a late 2000’s movie starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly to…
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2006’s Starter For Ten is a relatively undemanding coming-of-age comedy that is as quintessentially British as they come. It’s not massively original and a little…
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2021’s The Tomorrow War was denied a cinematic release due to the Covid 19 pandemic, which is a shame because it really is the kind…
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2007’s Alvin and the Chipmunks has, to date, spawned three sequels (the first of which was ingeniously entitled The Squeakquel). I haven’t seen any of…
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1997’s Boogie Nights is something of a genre-defying tour-de-force. Certainly it defied any expectations I had prior to watching it, and, for a movie that…
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I was a little bit too old for the Harry Potter novels when they first came out, but I’m always one to jump on a…
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1995’s Strange Days seems like it should have been a success. Directed by Kathryn Bigalow, co-written by James Cameron and starring Ralph Fiennes, Angela Bassett…
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Despite claiming to not be a fan of the genre, it has become apparent that rom-coms have featured multiple times in my annual Christmas countdowns…
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Michael Bay’s 2001 movie about the bombing of Pearl Harbor is exactly the kind of movie we’ve come to expect from Michael Bay. Spectacular special…
James Proclaims! 