Category: Humour
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As I write this, I am sitting in the car waiting for Little Proclaims to finish her Saturday morning ‘French School’ session. Mini Proclaims is…
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Rain has stopped play once again at Proclaims Towers. The garden, so oft the location for my blog-writing of late, is off-limits due to inclement…
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As predicted in a recent post, writing this blog on my phone while supervising my children in the garden is becoming the norm. As I…
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Sometimes DIY can feel a little more like DI Why? I honestly don’t know why I put myself through it. The general lack of a…
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My success in returning to a weekly blogging schedule, and avoiding my boom and bust (if I’m honest, mainly bust) approach to blogging of recent…
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Last week’s post celebrated a glorious sunny day during half-term, which I’d hoped would be the start of summer after an inauspicious few days, in…
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Last Monday’s post was written on the preceding Tuesday when I was off work and trapped at home on a rainy day, with both of…
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It’s Tuesday afternoon as I write this. Which is unusual. I haven’t been the most prolific blogger of late, but when I have managed to…
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As I continue my attempt to embrace the modern world by writing this on one electronic hand-held device, Little Proclaims is asking another electronic hand-held…
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I’m sitting in my garden as I write this. Little Proclaims is entertaining herself with a Paw Patrol themed football and a plastic tennis racket.…
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As if oft the case, it is Saturday afternoon as I write this. Little Proclaims and I are sitting at the dining table, while Mrs…
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Most weekdays I’m not involved in the process of feeding my children. By the time I get home from work, Mrs Proclaims has taken care…
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It is February half term in the UK, and being an employee of an institution that allegedly provides education to young people, I have the…
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When I was a child, TV in the UK consisted of four channels. In England that would have been BBC1, BBC2, ITV and Channel 4.…
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As we said goodbye to JanuaryAnd associated fadsSuch as Veganuary(In which I did not participateOut of sympathy to vegetariansWho surely must feel a levelOf antipathy…
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In all likelihood this will be the last thing I post in January 2024 because January 2024 is almost over. As Januaries go, this has…
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Prior to becoming a parent, I had no idea what ‘soft play’ was. Indeed for quite some time after becoming a parent I was only…
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Every Saturday, during term time, I take Little Proclaims to French School. In spite of the fact that I, as a child, hated every second…
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It is Sunday afternoon as I write this. Mini Proclaims is napping, having recently covered herself and much of the dining table in my home-made sweet…
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Assuming that I finish writing this post and deem it worthy of publication (and the quality control on my blog is such that if I…
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Like most of its predecessors, 2024 is a year. Whether it is a good year or a bad year (or a blameless measurement of time…
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According to my understanding of the Gregorian calendar, today is the last day of the year that I have mainly been referring to as ‘2023’.…
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Old Christmas tree, Old Christmas tree!How are thy leaves so plastic!Old Christmas tree, Old Christmas tree,I’m not being sarcastic In the loft in the summertime,I…
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I’m not dreaming of a white ChristmasJust like the ones I’ve never knownWith my gas bill risingThere’s no disguisingThe last thing that I need is…
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Have yourself a calorific Christmas,Take another biteFrom now on,Our slippers will be out of sightHave yourself a lazy little Christmas,Eat the Yule-tide log,From now on,We’ll…
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Sirens blareAre you listeningIn the lanesDrivers bristlingA depressing sightIt’s crappy tonightSulking in a Christmas traffic jam Gone away is all hope nowHere to stay is…
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‘Twas the day after Christmas and all through the house, Not a calorie was burning, no-one would espouse, Any kind of activity, except watching telly,…
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As I write this, some potatoes are roasting in my oven. They are basking contently in olive oil, garlic and rosemary. I’m quietly confident they…
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It’s Christmas Eve once more and so once again the folly of my annual advent calendar of movies that are a bit Christmas(ish) must draw…
James Proclaims! 