When the shoe is on the other footWhat happens to the shoe that was originally on the other foot?Does that move to the foot that the first shoe was on?And do these feet belong to the same person?A person who is now wearing their shoes on the wrong feet?Or have two people swapped a shoe…
Category: Humour
James Complains About A New Pair Of Shoes
Recently I purchased a new pair of shoes. This is not, in itself, an inherently unusual thing for me to do. I probably do it every 6-7 months. That’s generally how long a pair of shoes lasts in my experience. I buy my shoes for the purposes of work, being more inclined to wear trainers…
Blundi
As it is the third Monday in January, it is officially and indisputably Blue Monday – the most depressing day of the year. The rationale for attributing this label to an otherwise unassuming Monday was scientifically proven by a travel company in 2005, who, far from trying to sell more package holidays, were simply trying…
My 2023 Blogging Commitment
As it is January and thus still very much a time for making unrealistic pledges, I’m still fairly confident that I’m going to turn around my 2022 blogging slump and actually post quite regularly in 2023. However, my ambitions are tempered with a little reality – gone are the days of posting daily as I…
Children Of The Resolution
As it’s New Year’s Day I find myself, as I do most years, compiling a list of stuff that I need to start doing in the coming year in order to make myself somewhat less inadequate. Most years, fully aware that any genuine attempt at self-improvement will inevitably be doomed to failure within a few…
The Desultory James Proclaims New Year’s Eve Review Of The Year That Was
It is New Year’s Eve and as such I am bound by the international blogging code of ethics to review the year that is about to end. The year in question is 2022, which, not being a leap year, was made up of 365 days. Some of those days were quite interesting. Some were not…
A Boxing Day Post Of Sorts
As I write this I’m still enjoying a Christmas Day which has predominantly seen me sitting around in a festive onesie, drinking too much beer and eating too much festive food. But lest you accuse me of slothfulness, rest assured that I did cook the vast majority of the festive food, which was not without…
The Eighth Annual Christmas Message from James Proclaims
I’m wearing a onesie festooned with images of Christmas trees and reindeer. I’m a tad more inebriated than would be the norm mid-afternoon. The oven is full of delicious (and expensive) things roasting and coated in an elaborate range of herbs and condiments. And we’re halfway through our second tub of chocolates in as many…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 24
It’s Christmas Eve again, and therefore time once more to bring an end to my annual Christmas Countdown of films that are a bit Christmas(ish). You’d imagine that after six years of this pointless lunacy that I would finally have fun out of movies but, alas, I already have another 24 lined up for next…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 23
2019’s Jumanji: The Next Level is the sequel to 2017’s Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, which is, in itself, both a reboot and sequel of sorts to the original Jumanji. It may help to have seen the previous Jumanji movies to enjoy the 2019 offering, but it’s not really necessary. The Jumanji movies know who…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 22
2020’s Wonder Woman 1984 may not be as good as 2017’s Wonder Woman but it’s by no means the worst entry in the DC Extended Universe. Which may be faint praise, given some of the abominations that have been churned out under the umbrella of that particular franchise. But Wonder Woman was a great movie…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 21
Compared to the largely coherent Marvel Cinematic Universe, the DC Extended Universe has always seemed a bit shambolic and rushed. Which isn’t to say there haven’t been some good movies to come out of the project. My Christmas Eve entry for the 2019 iteration my advent calendar was the rather excellent Shazam, which is technically…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 20
It’s pretty much accepted wisdom that every even numbered Star Trek movie is good and every odd numbered Star Trek movie is bad. It’s not actually true anymore, though it is a little more true when you only consider the movies starring the cast from the original series. I still think that’s both a little…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 19
The original 1972 version of The Poseidon Adventure is infinitely better than the 2006 ‘reimagining’ of the story. It is still, fundamentally, a popcorn disaster movie, that requires a certain amount of suspended disbelief, and clearly the special effects are no match for the remake, but the advantage the original has over the subsequent version…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 18
Danny DeVito’s 1989 black comedy reunites him with Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner after their successful collaborations in Romancing the Stone and The Jewell of the Nile. The War of the Roses is quite a departure from those earlier movies but none the less enjoyable for it. Having absolutely nothing to do with the actual…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 17
Few actors divide opinion as much as Nicholas Cage. Is he a gifted actor, as indicated by his numerous awards or is he, in fact, a really bad actor?. Those arguing the latter case need look no further than 1994’s abomination of a comedy Trapped In Paradise. Which is not a good movie. At all.…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 16
The Expendables franchise may not be everyone’s cup of tea but it could never be accused of pretending to be anything that it isn’t. An unashamed homage to the action movies of the 80s and 90s (with a cast that for the most part were the stars of those of movies and who had seen…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 15
1995 teen comedy Clueless just happened to come out when I was still a teenager, so I was quite possibly its target audience at the time. I tended to be more into action movies back then, but I did see this a few times and I quite liked it. It also meant that when I…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 14
I know, objectively, that 2012’s The Perks of being a Wallflower is not a bad film. Indeed there is quite a lot to recommend it, not least the performances of the lead actors. But I didn’t particularly enjoy it. I doubt it was aimed at me, and that’s fine, but actually ‘not being the target…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 13
2012’s DreamWorks feature Rise of the Guardians is a fun little adventure movie that doesn’t require a great deal of effort on the part of the viewer. Indeed, it’s all quite prosaic from a storytelling perspective, but it looks great, and has a voice-cast that is nothing short of stellar. Really its USP is the…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 11
2011’s Bad Teacher is not as funny as it promises to be and also boasts a fairly predictable plot. But if you lower your expectations enough, then it can be a fairly diverting, if unmemorable, 97 minutes. If nothing else, it’s worth watching for Cameron Diaz’ performance as the eponymous educator and it’s credit to…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 10
I didn’t really expect to enjoy 2015’s Daddy’s Home, but surprisingly didn’t hate it. It even made the cut for last year’s Christmas countdown. But I really only watched that movie to prepare myself for the sequel, the imaginatively named Daddy’s Home 2, which I knew would eventually find its way into an iteration of…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 9
1944’s The Curse of the Cat People is notionally a sequel to the 1942 horror movie Cat People. And it does help to have seen the first movie, to fully appreciate this one, but they are quite different, although equally bonkers. Cat People should really have been called Cat Person, given that the central character,…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 6
Of all the movies in the Rocky franchise, Rocky III is probably my third favourite. It’s hard to beat the original Rocky which is just a great film, while it’s also impossible to ignore the iconic status of Rocky IV, objectively bad though it may be. Rocky III definitely paves the way for the bombastic…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 5
Despite the fact that Arthurian legend seems to be the perfect source material for a Hollywood epic, there really aren’t too many King Arthur movies that spring to mind. At least not good ones. And much as I love Monty Python and The Holy Grail, it is a damning indictment of the general failure to…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 3
1996’s 101 Dalmatians is technically the second ‘live action’ remake of an earlier animated feature if you consider 1994’s The Jungle Book to be the original. Although that movie bears very little resemblance to the 1967 cartoon classic and Disney did do another live action version of The Jungle Book in 2016 that is far…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 2
2019’s ‘live action’ update of Disney’s Lady and the Tramp doesn’t have any offensive racial caricatures masquerading as cats, which is a notable improvement, but otherwise it’s generally inferior to the original. That is pretty much the case with all the Disney ‘live action’ remakes. So failing to live up to the original animated classic…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Door 1
2010’s The Kings Speech picked up its fair share of awards, not least Best Picture and Best Actor in a Leading Role at the 2011 Academy awards. So it’s reasonable to say that it’s a pretty good movie. Indeed any movie that can boast Michael Gambon, Guy Pearce, Dereck Jacobi, Jennifer Ehle and Timothy Spall…
The Sixth Annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films – Preamble
For much of 2022 I have been absent from this blog. This has predominantly been due to the fact that I became a dad for the second time in April and I have spent most of this year feeling pretty tired. It turns out that having two children is a bit more work than having…
A Post That Is Not Not About Being A Dad
It’s the afternoon of Saturday 25th June 2022, as I sit down to write this, and thus attempt to mark the end of a three month sabbatical from blogging. As with many of my previous absences, I had not intended to be away for quite so long but once I lapse into a state of…
James Complains About A Lamentable Trip To A Supermarket
It’s been a while since last I blogged and in that time the world has gone from being predominantly concerned with a pandemic to being predominantly concerned with a war. This is hardly an improvement all things considered. Indeed so horrendous is the current status quo, that I need to acknowledge, from the outset, that…
James Proclaims! 