Dear Internet, please stop showing me
All the stuff I could acquire
It’s not that I don’t want it
For you know that I aspire
To wear those funky trainers
And play with that new phone
But I’m sure I can’t afford
All these things I’d like to own
And while I do agree
That that discount is obscene
I’m certain I don’t need
A Karaoke Machine
And while I’m sorely tempted
To spend my hard-earned cash
To buy a robot vacuum
Does seem a little rash
I know it would be easy
It’s just one click to pay
But I should really save my money
For a rainy day
And no that doesn’t mean
I need a brand-new coat
Although that is rather fetching
The blue one gets my vote
But no, I must resist
I don’t need extra stuff
When it comes to useless junk
I already own more than enough
Oh Internet, I really hope
We can get past this blip
But you can keep your cookies
I prefer mine with chocolate chips
The realities of a ‘post-truth’ world
Are hard to distinguish from those
Of the pre-truth world
Worlds where we are bombarded by images
Of things we neither want nor need
Maybe we might need them
And we do quite want them
In fact, we can’t live without them
But iThink iKnow what iNeed
Though Apples are not the only fruit
Just look in the Amazon
For a Galaxy of alternatives
An Xperiance like no other
Knock here to use the Windows
If you want to escape the Androids
What do you think Alexa?
Or should we ask Siri?
But no-one asks Cortana.
Any more than anyone ever asked Jeeves
WikiLeaks will show us the way
To the whole truth
Or at least to aspects of the truth
Or an interpretation of the truth
The truth that will sell the most papers Continue reading The Future Is Bright
Robot alarm clock
Amusing gift to receive
Less fun this morning
Just over a year ago my phone decided to spontaneously combust.
Up until that point it had been a functional but nonetheless unglamorous model of smart phone. It was the best one I’d ever owned, but significantly less good than the phones most other people seemed to own. As I’ve mentioned in other posts, I’ve never really got on board with the whole digital revolution so I’ve generally gone down the ‘budget’ route when it comes to mobile technology.
Still it was light years ahead of the phone that Mrs Proclaims had, which was one of those phones that was, well, really just a phone. I mean you could text with it as well but not much else. If I was not a fan of digital media, then Mrs Proclaims might actually have been a little bit afraid of it all. She’s still not entirely sure what an ‘app’ is to this day.
Don’t judge her though – she knows an awful lot about eighteenth and nineteenth century French literature.
Which is rarely useful (but quite impressive?).
Also her phone never set fire to itself. Continue reading Double Digital Detox
I’m writing this on my phone. To me that is enough of a novelty for me to need no further content in this post.
For I am a man that eschews technology. Continue reading James Embraces The Modern World
If, like me, you realised about a year ago that this whole ‘iPad’ malarkey wasn’t just a fad and that maybe technology was starting to get away from you, then you too may have rushed in a mild state of panic, to your nearest Tesco, in order to rectify the situation.
Obviously not to buy an actual iPad – that would have been mental. Have you seen how much they cost? No, the supermarket ‘own-brand’ equivalent is more than good enough. It’s a thrifty and savvy purchase. Continue reading James Reviews The Tesco Hudl Replacment Charge Board Port Socket Micro USB Port