It’s a lovely Sunday afternoon as I write this. The sun is shining , the birds are quite possibly singing (I can’t hear any but it would seem churlish to rule out the possibility), and all seems right with the world.
Which makes it really difficult to right a feature called ‘James Complains’.
I’ve got nothing to complain about.
But I’m nothing if not tenacious so I will dig deep and do my best to come up with something.
And the something I have come up with is that I own ‘the world’s most comfortable shorts’!
Which doesn’t seem like anything to complain about at face value.
But nonetheless it is my gripe of the week.
I shall add a little context. I’m aware this blog has an international audience, but here in the UK it is officially summer. And even though a British summer is no guarantee of good weather, from the beginning of July until mid-September I insist on wearing shorts whenever I possibly can. Which is all of the time I’m not at work, a wedding or a funeral.
I wear two kinds of shorts, I have my ‘smart’ shorts for if I go to a party (or on holiday so I can look nice in the photos) and I have my comfortable shorts for sitting around the house, or going to the gym.
This year I’m not going away anywhere, so I decided to treat myself to some new comfortable shorts. I bought them online, which is how I do most of my shopping so that I don’t have to actually be around people by going into shops. Also it tends to be more economical.
So, I bought three new pairs of shorts a few weeks ago. I only meant to buy two pairs, but I bought the third pair on a whim because they were really cheap.
They arrived in a timely enough fashion and I have enjoyed all three pairs in regular rotation for the last few weeks. But one pair has stood out as being ‘the most comfortable pair of shorts in the world’. Ironically enough, they were my ‘whim’ purchase.
They are so comfy I wish all of my clothes were made from the same material. When I’m wearing them I never want to take them off. If I dreamt about shorts, these would be the shorts of my dreams.
Obviously I never dream about shorts. Who dreams about shorts?
So why am I complaining?
Well they may be ‘the worlds most comfortable shorts’ but I can only wear them when I am in the house. If I need to go out, I have to change into a less comfortable pair.
Because despite being amazingly comfortable, they are also a garish green in colour and I just can’t carry that off.
It’s ever the hazard when you buy online, that the colour you think you’re buying is not, in fact, the colour that you get. Normally it’s of little consequence, but these are really bright. I can’t wear them in public. I will get funny looks from people.
So in summary, my complaint for this week is that I own a pair of shorts that are ideal to wear around the house, but a bit too bright to wear in public, lest I be judged by other people…
I’ll do better next week.