James Complains About Not Having Written Anything


It’s the first Monday in September and like many teachers I’m obliged to go back to work after a six-week hiatus.

Obviously, I expect very little sympathy from the non-teachers out there. Clearly, it’s hard, if you don’t get six weeks off, to sympathise with anyone who hasn’t had to go to work for the best part of the summer (I mean it was definitely the best part of my summer anyway).

Fortunately, I know there are quite lot of teachers who read this blog.

So, it’s perfectly fine for me to have a moan about having to go back into work.

And regular readers of these pages will know I’m not a huge fan of the whole work thing anyway.

I’d much rather sit around in my pants all day watching box-sets and eating ice-cream.

But there are bills to pay.

And no-one is prepared to pay me to sit around all day watching box-sets and eating ice-cream.

So, to work I must go.

And to be fair, the education profession does allow me numerous holidays throughout the year when I can sit around watching box-sets and eating ice-cream.

Obviously, I don’t spend all my holiday time doing that. Mrs Proclaims tends to frown upon that kind of behaviour.

Also, it’s apparently not good for your health to spend most of the day sedentary whilst consuming large volumes of frozen sugar and fat.

Anyway, after a six-week break in which I haven’t exclusively sat around watching box-sets and eating ice-cream, I’m back to work today.

Normally I’d be dreading it.

And today is no exception

But it’ll be fine. I’ll struggle through the first few hours, as I remember that I’m contractually obliged to do stuff and not all of that stuff will be interesting, or even worthwhile. Some of it will, frankly, be a complete waste of time. At first, I’ll want to resist, but eventually I’ll settle back into the same, slightly numb, reluctant acceptance that this is my life until Christmas.

And that’s fine, because they pay me just about enough to meet my mortgage commitments, pay my utility bills, and do all the other essential things I need to do to exist.

Like eat.

And pay my Netflix subscription.

So, while it’s fair to say I’m reluctant about going back to work today, I do understand why I have to do so, and on balance, I can’t complain too much about having to work when I’ve just had six weeks off.

But the trouble with having to work is that it tends to get in the way of blogging.

It’s hard to maintain a blogging schedule and do all the stuff I need to get done in work.

Sometimes I manage it, but there are often times when I go missing from the blogosphere for weeks, even months, on end because I’ve got too much to get done in work.

So you’d think, with six weeks off, and an unstated but implicit understanding with my lovely wife that I would not spend all of that time sitting around in my pants watching box-sets and eating ice-cream, that I might’ve had time to pen a few missives for this blog.

To get me ahead of schedule.

You’d think I’d have at least written today’s post in advance of today.

And although I did technically write this last night, it was so close to midnight as to barely count.

And I certainly haven’t written anything else in preparation for the coming weeks.

I meant to get ahead during my time off.

But I didn’t.

So, this could feasibly be the last thing I post for a while

Which, when you consider the quality of this post alone, would clearly be a tragedy for all humanity.

So let’s hope, for everyone’s sake, that I churn out another one of these soon.

  12 comments for “James Complains About Not Having Written Anything

  1. September 4, 2017 at 9:18 am

    Oh dear, James what a miserable blog.perhaps something a little more cheery next time. After all you chose the job and trust me I have done some dreadful jobs in my time, but now I am retired. I try and go out a bit, apart from shopping and I am trying to cut down on the pub! Hopefully back to your old blogging self at the weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

    • September 4, 2017 at 4:15 pm

      I’ll endeavour to be more cheery next time, but no promises.


  2. September 4, 2017 at 10:28 am

    The bit about being “contractually obliged to do stuff and not all of that stuff will be interesting, or even worthwhile. Some of it will, frankly, be a complete waste of time.” – that was a true ode to the teaching profession right there.(from a fellow teacher) So think of that misery, then think of the box sets and and bowls of Madagasan pecan vanilla and know that yin and yang exist to balance each other.

    You do like balance right?

    Liked by 1 person

    • September 4, 2017 at 4:17 pm

      I mean I prefer everything to be skewed in my favour really, but I’ll take balance over total misery if that’s the best offer I’m going to get…


  3. September 4, 2017 at 12:03 pm

    Excuse me for complaining about your complaint but I wish to complain about your complaint. Just hang on a goddam minute……..I thought you had a perfectly acceptable job ruling us all?

    What happened to that?

    Was it only yesterday, or maybe the day before?

    Whichever, I got very excited, very, very excited. I thought to myself, and even expostulated, that we were saved.

    Now you go and tell me you are swanning off teaching!

    OK, I know you have some some sort of get out that means you don’t have to fight the good fight with classes and all that, but really, I am deflated, let down, flat, my whole reason for being demolished.

    Need I go on?


    Some ruler you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • September 4, 2017 at 4:18 pm

      Apologies for any inconvenience caused. The situation is far from ideal but my hands are tied. Quite literally at the moment but that’s another story…

      Liked by 1 person

  4. September 4, 2017 at 8:26 pm

    Knot much of an excuse!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. September 4, 2017 at 9:43 pm

    I’m with you. This work malarky really gets in the way of life.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. September 4, 2017 at 10:13 pm

    Even worse than going back to work after 6 weeks is going back to work after 6 weeks at 8.30am and finding out training doesn’t actually start until 9.30am. Could have had more snoozes!!

    Totally with you on the lack of writing/ scheduling though. Maybe there was something in the air this summer. I’ve blogged less than ever. And as for Lacunae and my attempts to finish. Well, I’ll need to do a ‘previously on’ to jog people’s memory of the plot!

    Liked by 1 person

    • September 4, 2017 at 10:35 pm

      Just call what you’ve written so far Season 1. Then you can launch Season 2 to great fanfare when you’re ready. Don’t leave it too long though, I got pretty hooked on Season 1…

      Liked by 1 person

      • September 5, 2017 at 6:12 pm

        Haha, good thinking! Maybe I can employ you to do some promotional, Season 2 artwork. When you have time off at Christmas, of course 😉

        Liked by 1 person

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