Hello lovers of fiction and welcome to the fourth instalment of books I won’t be writing for this year’s NaNoWriMo. I won’t be writing them partly because I’m not participating in NaNoWriMo, but, in the case of these particular novels, I won’t be writing them because they are genuinely dreadful ideas.

That’s the  preamble over with. Now, without further ado, today’s disastrous notion for a novel is the following:

The Golden Socks

More of a children’s tale this one. Cos they often do well don’t they.

Magic and mystery, adventures galore, child protagonists that are possibly orphans but at the very least have some kind of parental difficulties that may or may not be central to the plot.

Is this a light-hearted ‘good versus evil’ romp, with cartoonish characters and an ill-judged notion of what constitutes poverty and privilege, with some gratuitous Latin thrown in from time to time in an effort to create the illusion that the derivative and clichéd plot (though still undeniably entertaining) is more intellectual than it actually is? Will there be some kind of wise mentor figure that dies? Will other peripheral characters occasionally meet their end in an attempt to create the an artificial air of darkness?

Yes, you can expect all that and more.

Plus, there will probably be a comedic talking animal. Or loveable goblin. Or maybe a talking shoe.