A Slightly Confusing Metaphor To Illustrate How Utterly Redundant Cyber Monday Is As A Concept.

James Proclaims (4)


Sometimes I like to think of Black Friday as the ‘bad guy’ in a second-rate action flick. He’s over-the-top and stupid, but poses a genuine threat to our hero – ‘Captain Common-Sense’.

Oh no! How will Captain Common-Sense survive that unbeatable deal on headphones? How will he remember that he already owns a perfectly good pair of headphones? Headphones that he barely uses anyway. With deals that good, surely, he’s going to be tempted to part with his hard-earned cash on another frivolous purchase. Curse you Black Friday!

Of course, if the movie runs true to form, Captain Common-Sense beats the temptations of Black Friday and wins the day.

And although it’s a genuinely dreadful film, the battle between Black Friday and Captain Common-Sense does well enough at the box office to merit a sequel.

And the sequel is vastly inferior to the already-bad original.

Because in an attempt to make a bigger, more compelling bad-guy, the studio massively misjudges what made the first film popular, which was that, although kind-of inane, Black Friday poses a genuine threat to the wallet of Captain Common-Sense because his deals are ‘for a limited time only’. That’s where the jeopardy is.

So, given that Captain Common-Sense has now prevailed, for any kind of sequel to work, the bad-guy needs to be a bit different.

Not exactly the same but with a different name.

And as far as I can see, the only difference between a ‘deal’ on Cyber Monday as opposed to a ‘deal’ on Black Friday, is that the Black Friday fake deals are available online and in-store, whereas Cyber Monday fake deals can only, by definition, be online. So Cyber Monday is exactly the same as Black Friday, only not as good.

And given that Black Friday is already pointless, Cyber Monday must therefore be worse than pointless.

And on that note…

Happy Cyber Monday everyone!

  10 comments for “A Slightly Confusing Metaphor To Illustrate How Utterly Redundant Cyber Monday Is As A Concept.

  1. November 27, 2017 at 8:57 am

    Brilliant as usual James

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 3, 2017 at 4:38 pm

      Thanks 🙂


  2. November 27, 2017 at 2:48 pm

    Thank you kindly sir. I’m just catching up on my blog reading in between frantic bouts of online bargain hunting! I may take time out to catch up on the “BREAKING NEWS”. It seems that Prince Harry may be getting married.

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 3, 2017 at 4:39 pm

      Really? I must have missed that story…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. November 27, 2017 at 3:53 pm

    You’ve forgotten one very important difference though – Cyber Monday shopping can be accomplished at home, in my pajamas, with a cup of coffee. Black Friday involves getting in the car and elbowing my way through the murderously obsessed hoards. <>


    • December 3, 2017 at 4:42 pm

      Over here Black Friday is already more of an online thing so it really is exactly the same as Cyber Monday. Black Friday doesn’t fall on a public holiday here so we’re all in work, rendering it utterly pointless as a concept except for online shopping, which means Cyber Monday really is less than pointless.


      • December 3, 2017 at 4:59 pm

        That IS silly. Friday isn’t a public holiday here, but the majority of businesses close for the 4 day weekend. Idiots (oops, I mean shoppers) line up at midnight to stampede in the doors to get “bargains.” Granted, good deals are probably available, but I’d rather pay a little more and stay home in bed. Some stores have gone so far as to open on Thanksgiving afternoon or evening. It’s sad because the workers have to be there instead of home with their families.

        Liked by 1 person

      • December 3, 2017 at 5:01 pm

        That is really sad. Surely there’s enough shopping time without the need to ruin a perfectly good holiday.

        Although our version of Black Friday is still stupider…

        Liked by 1 person

      • December 3, 2017 at 5:02 pm


        Liked by 1 person

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