James Explains Giraffes Amongst Other Things

James Explains


Welcome back to that bit of my blog where I pretend I’m going to explain stuff but then don’t explain anything much at all. This week, as ever, I’ll be answering the questions of other people.

People like Haylee who previously asked about lions and bears and hot dogs and jaffa cakes and is still from the UK but somewhere different in the UK to me. Haylee asks:

Do giraffes make a sound? And would they be the rudest animal if they could speak ‘human’?

Now this does seem like an obvious opportunity to promote the ‘Magic Penguin’ bit of my blog which features a character called Fat Giraffe, who speaks ‘human’ and has been known to be rude, but I’m really not into that kind of self-promotion.

Although you should totally check out the ‘Magic Penguin’ stories now.

But back to the question and whether giraffes make a sound. The answer is yes, yes they do. And I doubt they’re anything like as rude as a vole. I once met a vole who was just the rudest creature.

Ok that isn’t entirely true – I’ve never met a vole of any temperament but I can’t imagine a giraffe would be all that rude. They seem like they’d be quite polite as animals go.

Want to hear what a giraffe sounds like?

Then watch this video in which a giraffe makes a noise.

Jay from the USA asks:

Which is better, Godfather Part I or Godfather Part II? Follow up, why is there so much hatred for Godfather Part III?

Now it would genuinely help if I had seen any of the Godfather films and I haven’t. I should have done, I know I’d enjoy them, but I never seem to have got around to it.

Still, it does seem to be widely accepted that both of the first two Godfather films are pretty good – although according to Wikipedia (the place I go to learn everything), the first one was marginally more successful both critically and commercially. But in the end it’s all just a matter of opinion and as I’ve never seen either I’m not really entitled to have an opinion on this topic..

And why is there so much hatred for part III? Well I haven’t seen that either, but I’d imagine it’s because it isn’t a very good film, a fact which is made all the worse because the other two are supposedly very good.

But I haven’t seen any of them, so what do I know?

I was going to watch them in preparation for this, but frankly, they do seem to be a bit long.

gigglingfattie who previously asked about rubber duckies and is still from Canada asks:

Why, when challenging yourself to post 10 songs from your iTunes, will the most embarrassing ones always be played?!

I think anything that is likely to cause embarrassment is almost inevitable.

So the trick  is not to be embarrassed by anything.

I know that when I’m putting together playlists for my own amusement at home or in the car, they tend to be a mix of nineties and noughties indie classics.

But give me one too many tequilas on a night out and I’ll happily bounce around the dance floor to some ‘interesting’ choices.

Like the one below:


FInally, Pete, who previously asked about my name and ‘the point’ and is still from the UK but somewhere different in the UK to me and Haylee asks:

Will we all be rich after Brexit?

I think the answer to that is clearly no Pete. While I’m pretty sure that Brexit will neither be as bad as some of us fear nor anywhere near as good as some people would have us believe,  most of us will be as rich or as poor as we ever were.

But we will have our blue passports back so whatever the other consequences, it will all have been worth it.

And that’s it for another week of explaining stuff.

I expect I’ll do it all again next week if anyone posts a question or two in the comments section below.

  19 comments for “James Explains Giraffes Amongst Other Things

  1. January 30, 2018 at 10:00 pm

    On your 2nd video the blokes are wing walking. For some serious wing walking, check out Fred Astaire, Flying Down to Rio. Yes I know it’s an old film but you might be able to get the bits of just the wing walking!

    Liked by 2 people

    • February 4, 2018 at 6:39 pm

      I enjoy an old film – I’ll check it out


  2. January 30, 2018 at 10:06 pm

    Come on, who do you think you’re kidding?
    No, that is not a question.
    Well, actually it is, but it’s for now, not for later!
    That giraffe has wind, she’s not communicating, unless, that is, she’s speaking out of…….oh oh, baby giraffes present!

    Thank you James. You really are adding to my education, and that is only right. You are, after all, a teacher!

    So teacher, here’s a question for next time. When will we ever learn?

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 4, 2018 at 6:41 pm

      Good ‘actual’ question but I think I will tackle the ‘who am I kidding’ one too!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. January 31, 2018 at 9:22 am

    I’ve never watched any Godfather movies but I’ve read the book. People move away from me at parties when I tell them this. Maybe I need to work on my small talk!?

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 4, 2018 at 6:43 pm

      I’ve enjoyed similar ignominy at parties, although in this case I’ve neither seen the film nor read the book. But I am more inclined to read the book


  4. February 1, 2018 at 12:04 am

    Will you please proclaim something about Jammy Dodgers?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Bryntin
    February 1, 2018 at 12:07 pm

    James, my son asked me a question recently, I blogged about it but actually had no answer for him.

    He said ‘Dad, you know the film The Matrix right?’ Yes I did.
    He said ‘When Neo is offered a blue and a red pill, right?’ Yes I did.
    He said ‘What would happen if Neo took both pills from Morpheus, stuffed one up each nostril and sniffed really hard?’
    To be honest James, I was stumped. So I’m asking you, for him.

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 4, 2018 at 7:44 pm

      I love that question so much! Not sure if I can answer it to your son’s satisfaction but I’ll give it a go!


  6. February 3, 2018 at 12:58 am

    Do you think Schrodinger was probably more of a dog person… or could he only afford a small box?

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 4, 2018 at 7:46 pm

      A tricky one, but I’ll see what I can find out!


  7. February 4, 2018 at 2:25 pm

    This isn’t is genuinely fascinating – I did know that giraffe noises had recently been ‘discovered’ but I was too lazy to Google it. What’s the point when we have you like our resident Alexa?! (Perhaps you should release your own home-pod-know-it-all-box)

    I may be out of thought-provoking questions for now but I’ll give it considerable brain time to make sure your supply doesn’t disappear 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 4, 2018 at 8:45 pm

      Thanks, you’ve kept me in a good supply for the last few weeks, feel free to take some time off. Although I may still answer your question about where I find all the biscuits, as I’m currently enjoying some chocolate banoffee digestives.

      Liked by 1 person

      • February 4, 2018 at 9:11 pm

        Perhaps you should answer ‘Why am I incapable of typing accurately?’ Thanks for skimming over my nonsensical typo!

        Liked by 1 person

      • February 4, 2018 at 9:16 pm

        My pleasure. I’ve made more than a few nonsensical typos in my time…

        Liked by 1 person

  8. February 18, 2018 at 9:11 am

    Most embarrassing iTunes? Barbie Girl by Aqua. Tell NO ONE!

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 18, 2018 at 9:12 am

      I share your guilt on that one…


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