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Welcome to another James Explains, the bit of my blog where I answer questions that other people have asked. I don’t necessarily answer them correctly but an inability to respond to enquiries accurately doesn’t seem to be the barrier to success that it once was.

Indeed professing to be an expert in things that one knows nothing about seems to be almost a prerequisite for career advancement these days.

And so let the alternative facts begin…

Glen poses the following brainteaser:

“Do our idyllic childhood memories set us up for a life of disappointment when inevitably many aspects of adult life do not measure up to how we first conceived of them from our cocooned viewpoint as ‘babes in the woods’ or… are we all really on our own Wizard of Oz ‘Peak behind the Curtain’ journeys where the ultimate goal is acquiring wisdom and understanding without being brought undone by the occupational hazards of accompanying bitterness and disillusionment?”

To be honsest Glen, by the time I got to the end of that question, I had pretty much forgotten how it all began. I find that my attention span isn’t what it once was. Or is it? I don’t know. I can’t remember if I ever had much of an attention span. Probably not. More to the point, am I actually answering your question at all? Let me revisit the question again…

(Musical interlude while James goes back to read the question)

Right, I think I’ve got this. Adult life is inherently disappointing, and we are definitely prone to reminiscing about better times. But they never happened. Life was always rubbish, and the only reason we might not have thought that when we were kids is because we were stupid. Although, even as an infant I was a little world weary in truth.

Pete has more of a gripe than a question this week:

I wish to complain that you failed to answer my last question! I am incensed, and I feel that you have abused my human rights.

I cannot remember what I asked, but I’m sure that it was really important.

What compensation am I entitled to?

Well, Pete, we at James Explains endeavour to provide the very best in question-answering services and we are sorry that we have not met your expectations on this occasion. We will be taking a good long look at ourselves after this. As to compensation, you will of course be entitled to a full refund, and a substantial discount on any future questions you may choose to ask.

Suze, who seems to have no genuine grievances but can’t resist a bandwagon when she sees one, has this to say:

I’m with Peter…how much money are you going to pay me to go away and/or start asking additional questions?

Suze, I feel you are being a tad opportunistic here, but I can’t fault you for that. I’m prepared to offer you an additional 30% on top of your usual fee.

These Were Humans has this divine enquiry:

Can you explain why my favourite deity is the ancient Babylonian god Nergal?

In truth I’m not overly familiar with Nergal’s work, but having quickly looked him up via the magic of the internet, it seems to me he was quite a cheeky chappy. So that’s probably why you like him.

Haylee is konfused and asks the following:

Kan you please explain Kanye?

In truth Haylee I kan’t explain Kanye. I’m not even really sure what a Kanye is. From my research, I understand that he might be a person if that helps. There might also be a link with something called a Kardashian? Which, as I recall were the bad guys on one of the Star Treks. To be honest I’m way out of my depth here.

Right, that’s enough explaining for this week. If you ask a question below I might explain it next week.

Admittedly I might not.

Only time will tell.

 

17 thoughts on “James Explains The Fundamental Disappointment Of Existence Amongst Other Things

  1. excellent responses….now for a hard one. The six year old next door, we shall call him Sam…of course we will as that is his name…anywho, Sam asks: “how comes you write silly stuff?” good luck with that.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Top notch advice James. My questions are many, confused as I am by adulthood. Having been one for such an extended period has only increased my perplexity. I have tried DRAWING my way out of the confusion and that HAS made a difference. Let me mull this over with some mulled mead or a Stella.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Here is one question that I answered myself. You know what they say, ask thyself, something or other and the answer will . . . something like that, Bernard Shaw probably already said it. The question was: is it acceptable to eat ramen with scissors at the table if no one else is around (esp the wife)? I decided that it WAS acceptable but to keep it a dirty little secret. Mum’s the word, James.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ah, I felt sure you would unravel the mystery that is Kanye but I guess he (if in fact we can attach such pronouns) will remain an enigma. So I totally understand that you felt out of your depth. Perhaps you touched on something with the Star Trek connection, I’m quite sure he’d like to assimilate us all to his way of thinking, given the chance!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Your response to the ‘idyllic childhood memories’ question was on point. The image of you as a world-weary infant was priceless. The links to each questioner’s own domains was a gentlelman act of the most generous order. But guess what? The adult vs child experiences ponderance was just your warm up. Now comes your real question. Ready?

    This time we’re venturing to the animal kingdom and no, it’s not ‘Do adult elephants compare life now to their idyllic childhoods and long for past happier days’ – that would be too damm obvious! Instead try this by no means original but more classic range inquiry – Do penguins topple over when they look up in fascination at a plane going overhead?

    Liked by 1 person

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