The Age Of Envy

I don’t know if it’s a modern phenomenon
Or just something that has become more evident
Thanks to the prevalence of social media
But I’ve noticed that some people apparently feel the need
To claim that their accomplishments
Are more impressive than they probably are
It’s the kind of thing that one might expect
From politicians and so-called celebrities
But I think it extends to many other sectors of society
And I find it puzzling
Because, surely an embellishment of one’s achievements
Can only lead to two responses
Either people will not believe the claims to be true
And consequently create their own, less flattering, interpretations
Interpretations, which may be more damning than the actual truth
Or, alternatively, they will believe the claims of unparalleled success
In which case the most likely reaction would be resentment
And ultimately I can’t see how either response is desirable
Nonetheless, I thought it might be fun
To come up with my own, wildly over-the-top, brag
Safe in the knowledge that anyone reading this
Would know that my claims are meant ironically
However, when it came to it
I struggled to think of an appropriate pretence
Because my own achievements are so overwhelmingly impressive
From my movie-star good looks
To my singular genius
And not forgetting my humbling modesty
I realised that I truly am #blessed
And when you are as perfect as I am
It really is hard to oversell yourself