No Vembers Were Harmed In The Writing Of This Post

James Proclaims (4)

I don’t know what a vember is but it matters very little because we are officially in the one month of the year when they are scarce. At least I presume the lack of available vembers is the etymology behind the naming of the eleventh month of the year.

Although I obviously know that it isn’t.

But we haven’t got time to talk about the etymology of November. You can look that up on Wikipedia later on.

Today, being the first day of the month, means that we need to discuss, with some urgency, the state of the stats on my blog.

Because that’s what I apparently now do on the first day of the month. Although I won’t be doing it on the 1st of December because on that day I’ll be kicking off the much-celebrated (or, as is more often the case, much-ignored) annual James Proclaims Advent Calendar of Christmas(ish) Films.

But for the last few months I have started the month with a retrospective of the previous month’s stats, and this is mostly because 2020 has yielded some record-breaking numbers for this blog. And it’s hard to pin down exactly why this might be the case. What has been different about 2020 in comparison to other years (aside from a global pandemic, which would easily explain a mild increase in web traffic to an inconsequential blog)?

Anyway, you’ll be thrilled to know that October 2020 continued the trend of this blog being slightly more popular than it had previously been. Although the numbers do appear to have plateaued a bit. Even regressed slightly. But that is no cause for alarm. If the stats do begin to drop off significantly then I can always go back to pretending that I don’t care about stats. So I’ve got all bases covered.

The biggest highlight of October was really the fact that I managed to continue my daily blogging streak. Because traditionally October has tended to be a month of blogging slumps for me. So writing 31 posts in October was a genuine achievement, even if a lot of the posts were the seventeen syllable ditties that I claim are haikus but which are more akin to senryus. If indeed they are akin to anything at all. Anyway, it would be churlish not to celebrate my achievements just because they aren’t very impressive.

November is generally a different story in terms of productivity. I don’t need a global pandemic to find November depressing, so most years I manage to produce a lot of posts in a bid to fight off the winter woes. This year, the combination of a resurgent coronavirus and the general misery of cold weather and very little daylight ought to ensure that my blog continues to be full of updated content for many more weeks to come.

Some of that content might even be passable. And most of it will be short. Which is rarely a bad thing.

So you can safely assume that there will be something new, and of questionable value, to read on this blog tomorrow.

But until then I must depart. I’ve heard a rumour that there may be still be some vembers available in Tesco and I want to get there before they run out.

  18 comments for “No Vembers Were Harmed In The Writing Of This Post

  1. November 1, 2020 at 9:40 am

    there is the possibility that who or whatever is responsible for the absence of vembers is moving on to the removal of cembers. Perhaps its to do with decimalisation – perhaps we only need ten months?
    Might be that the month after April is at risk as well?

    Liked by 1 person

    • November 1, 2020 at 10:04 am

      I’ll be campaigning hard for the preservation of April, which has nothing to do with the fact that my birthday is in April. I’d say that we could easily do without November and January though.


    • November 1, 2020 at 10:05 am

      Sorry, I just realised that it was the month after April you were talking about. I’d agree that we need to see more certainty from that month if it is to endure.


  2. November 1, 2020 at 12:31 pm

    But November during a pandemic with the added joy of lockdown makes the month extra depressing, no? 😳🙃

    I need to wander over to the stats department. Might find some fodder there…😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • November 1, 2020 at 5:00 pm

      November does a good enough job being depressing on its own, it doesn’t need the embellishment of a pandemic. But yes, there is a never-ending source of content hiding within the stats. It’s not all gold admittedly…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. November 1, 2020 at 2:35 pm

    You know, James, when you talk about your stats, it might make some of your followers feel profoundly inadequate, despite their best efforts with rhyming words and pencil crayons. Naturally, I’m not talking about myself because my only goal is just to experience the pure joy of writing. Do I check my stats, daily, maybe even hourly? Absolutely not. In fact, I worry about your obsession with your stats. Even if your stats begin to sag, James, you’re still a worthwhile person. Never forget that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • November 1, 2020 at 5:02 pm

      Nope, I refuse to believe there is more to life than stats.


  4. November 1, 2020 at 3:01 pm

    T.S. Eliot was wrong–November is the real cruelest month, due to its definite lack of vembers and proliferation of scratchy Mo-staches.

    Liked by 1 person

    • November 1, 2020 at 5:04 pm

      Ah yes, I almost forgot about the facial hair bit of November. Always fun

      Liked by 1 person

  5. November 1, 2020 at 3:32 pm

    I too am worried about the month after April. It may, just may, be in jeopardy, although last time I looked there I couldn’t find it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • November 1, 2020 at 5:06 pm

      Jeopardy is the first month of the year no?

      Liked by 1 person

      • November 1, 2020 at 5:13 pm

        You have me there. I always thought it was weird people hiding things in rusty tins and putting candles on top. That’s where I was looking!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. November 1, 2020 at 3:45 pm

    Pretty sure vember is somehow related to vim and vigor. Or at least they sound like they’re all from the same family. Probably Norwegian brothers or something.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. November 1, 2020 at 5:31 pm

    I bet Kwik Trip has some Vembers.

    Liked by 1 person

    • November 1, 2020 at 5:33 pm

      Sadly for me it would not be a quick trip to get to a Kwik Trip due to their lack of prevalence in the UK, but they do indeed look like the kind of establishment that would be well stocked with Vembers, even out of season.

      Liked by 1 person

      • November 1, 2020 at 5:37 pm

        They’re a sight more likely to have them than Tesco’s or Piggly-Wiggly, that’s for sure.

        Liked by 1 person

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