The Sixth Annual Christmas Message from James Proclaims

James Proclaims (4)

Merry Christmas!

Sorry, my mistake. I forgot that Christmas had been cancelled this year. Being an established misanthrope I would have no doubt chosen to spend today with my wife and child and absolutely no-one else, regardless of any pandemics, so here at Proclaims Towers it really is starting to look a lot like Christmas. Indeed, given that last year involved all three of us being quite ill for most of the duration of the holidays and included a Christmas morning trip to A&E for Little Proclaims, I’d say that this Christmas is actually looking a little more joyful than last year for my little family.

Obviously given that one of us is a toddler, we’ve already had an eventful day. There has been a lot of overexcitement and several tantrums. Then Little Proclaims woke up and the party really started.

We’ve been for a walk, as is our tradition. It appears to be the thing to do today. Either that or watch TV. Which to be fair has been the status quo for much of 2020. When Wizzard sang about wishing it could be Christmas every day I really don’t think they’d given enough consideration to the idea. After living through the last ten months, I think we can all agree that it’s better when some days aren’t like Christmas Day.

As you join me I’m preparing the Christmas dinner. As is the case most years, it is a side of salmon and some roasted veg. I generally do quite well, but I am currently drinking a ridiculously potent beer so there is scope to mess this up. Mrs Proclaims will still declare it to be the finest meal she has ever tasted, because she’s nice like that. Little Proclaims will probably throw most of it on the floor because she is two.

By the time you read this, the meal will have been long since consumed, as I generally schedule my Christmas Day posts to go live at 3pm so as to coincide with the Queen’s Speech. It’s been a running joke for several years now and it stopped being funny some time ago. If it ever was funny.

Anyway, if you happen to be reading this on Christmas Day, then I hope it’s as good as it can be, all things considered.

If you aren’t reading it on Christmas Day, I really need you to consider whether you are showing sufficient commitment to my blog, but I still hope you had quite a good day anyway, because I’m nice like that.

  15 comments for “The Sixth Annual Christmas Message from James Proclaims

  1. December 25, 2020 at 3:42 pm

    I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Mea Culpa! I set my alarm to make sure I was here to catch your message the very second it appeared and then got carried away listening to some old woman on the tele. I really do apologise.

    Liked by 3 people

    • December 25, 2020 at 6:25 pm

      A lot of people fall in to that trap

      Liked by 1 person

  2. December 25, 2020 at 4:00 pm

    Merry Christmas!

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 25, 2020 at 6:25 pm

      Merry Christmas to you!

      Like

  3. December 25, 2020 at 5:30 pm

    Sending best wishes to you and the family.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. December 25, 2020 at 7:12 pm

    Queenie got right on the ‘God in Heaven’ spiritual speech wagon today. Your proclamation remained rather more level, grounded, on the floor some might even say, like Little Proclaims salmon? Don’t take it as culinary criticism though. Would your wife lie to you? Never. Jokes aside, have the best Christmas you can.

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 25, 2020 at 8:05 pm

      Actually very little of the salmon made it to the floor. The veg on the other hand was discarded without a second thought but on that score my daughter and I are of the same mind. Missed the royal verbalising in favour of an underwhelming Christmas movie. Sounds like I made the right choice.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. December 25, 2020 at 10:10 pm

    I didn’t see the Queens speech, but I did read this on Christmas day. Do I get extra points for blog commitment?

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 25, 2020 at 10:31 pm

      I’ve always considered you one of the elite blog readers and this type of commitment is why you continue to thrive at the highest level

      Liked by 1 person

  6. December 26, 2020 at 4:03 am

    Merry Christmas to one and all from Mr. Ohh!
    Spread Holiday Laughter

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 26, 2020 at 3:09 pm

      Merry Christmas to you too!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. December 26, 2020 at 8:46 am

    I’m with you on the misanthropy. Apart from a forty-minute Zoom session, I didn’t speak to anyone outside my immediate family. I probably shouldn’t admit it, but it was great.

    I Hope your Christmas was a good one as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • December 26, 2020 at 10:37 am

      I didn’t even ‘turn up’ for the zoom call, although that was quite a last minute thing so it wasn’t entirely misanthropic, I was just unaware of it until it was ‘too late’ to join. But yes, a very pleasant day.

      Liked by 1 person

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