The Sixth Annual Christmas Message from James Proclaims

Merry Christmas!

Sorry, my mistake. I forgot that Christmas had been cancelled this year. Being an established misanthrope I would have no doubt chosen to spend today with my wife and child and absolutely no-one else, regardless of any pandemics, so here at Proclaims Towers it really is starting to look a lot like Christmas. Indeed, given that last year involved all three of us being quite ill for most of the duration of the holidays and included a Christmas morning trip to A&E for Little Proclaims, I’d say that this Christmas is actually looking a little more joyful than last year for my little family.

Obviously given that one of us is a toddler, we’ve already had an eventful day. There has been a lot of overexcitement and several tantrums. Then Little Proclaims woke up and the party really started.

We’ve been for a walk, as is our tradition. It appears to be the thing to do today. Either that or watch TV. Which to be fair has been the status quo for much of 2020. When Wizzard sang about wishing it could be Christmas every day I really don’t think they’d given enough consideration to the idea. After living through the last ten months, I think we can all agree that it’s better when some days aren’t like Christmas Day.

As you join me I’m preparing the Christmas dinner. As is the case most years, it is a side of salmon and some roasted veg. I generally do quite well, but I am currently drinking a ridiculously potent beer so there is scope to mess this up. Mrs Proclaims will still declare it to be the finest meal she has ever tasted, because she’s nice like that. Little Proclaims will probably throw most of it on the floor because she is two.

By the time you read this, the meal will have been long since consumed, as I generally schedule my Christmas Day posts to go live at 3pm so as to coincide with the Queen’s Speech. It’s been a running joke for several years now and it stopped being funny some time ago. If it ever was funny.

Anyway, if you happen to be reading this on Christmas Day, then I hope it’s as good as it can be, all things considered.

If you aren’t reading it on Christmas Day, I really need you to consider whether you are showing sufficient commitment to my blog, but I still hope you had quite a good day anyway, because I’m nice like that.