A Rapid And Somewhat Cynical Rhyme About The Ending Of Covid Restrictions In The UK (That May Or May Not Be Happening In The Near Future)

You could say 2021
Has not really been much fun
But as we’re on month number three
It won’t be long until we’re free
For now that spring has almost sprung
We will soon all be back among
People that we’ve had to avoid
As our social lives were destroyed
By a globalish pandemic
That was really quite polemic

Our hands have never been so clean
While we awaited a vaccine
But now we can forget hygiene
And swap the hand soap for sunscreen
We’ll be at liberty to roam
Even if we’d rather stay at home
So wish away the gathered clouds
Get up and out and join the crowds
As soon as it is vaguely sunny
Go forth and spend all of your money

Give yourself a case of gout
As again you ‘Eat Out To Help Out’
Support every other government scheme
Counterintuitive though they often seem
Ensure that when you meet a friend
That both of you can spend spend spend
For when the virus is less of a threat
It behoves us all to get into debt
And step once more out the front door
To spend time with people we abhor

  21 comments for “A Rapid And Somewhat Cynical Rhyme About The Ending Of Covid Restrictions In The UK (That May Or May Not Be Happening In The Near Future)

  1. March 2, 2021 at 5:22 am

    Ha! Well done. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 2, 2021 at 3:47 pm

      Thank you, it kind of wrote itself

      Liked by 1 person

  2. March 2, 2021 at 5:43 am

    WELL said
    (if what’s ahead.
    makes us stay in bed).

    Liked by 2 people

    • March 2, 2021 at 3:48 pm

      I’m always happy to stay in bed

      Liked by 2 people

  3. March 2, 2021 at 7:17 am

    Spoken in that positive indomitable Welsh/English spirit.
    Ah, to be finally free of this grave affliction,
    As the Conservatives say ‘dunno where, dunno when,’
    But I’m breathlessly awaiting the eviction
    Of the blathering idiot squatting in Number Ten.

    Liked by 2 people

    • March 2, 2021 at 3:48 pm

      Sadly there are a whole load of blathering idiots in line to replace him when he goes

      Liked by 1 person

      • March 2, 2021 at 6:40 pm

        Surely none can descend the lows of the Golden One?

        Liked by 1 person

      • March 2, 2021 at 7:33 pm

        You’d hate to think so but there are a few who could quite easily do just that

        Liked by 1 person

  4. March 2, 2021 at 7:43 am

    sounded about right to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 2, 2021 at 3:49 pm

      I think it’s broadly accurate yes

      Liked by 1 person

  5. March 2, 2021 at 7:45 am

    As the government’s prone to say
    “it is your moral duty”
    the message is each day
    stay home, but spend your booty

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 2, 2021 at 3:49 pm

      That is definitely the message and quite possibly the actual words that Boris uses

      Like

  6. March 2, 2021 at 8:06 am

    It’s a bit grim thinking about it this way, and while like many I hope we do return to a place whee we can see people, go out etc, I feel somewhere along the line the government is going to screw up (again).

    Liked by 2 people

  7. March 2, 2021 at 10:04 am

    We should pleased to see these responsible irreversible measures, which of course will be reversed if the science says the reverse of what the irreversible measures we’ve put in place should be achieving is being achieved, then we will sensibly reverse them, if we can figure out how to install a reverse gear into our irreversible measures without looking like we’re reversing. But I’m glad we have a clear irreversible roadmap and cannot reverse, but have left plenty of places to u-turn and, very possibly, crash horribly.

    Liked by 2 people

    • March 2, 2021 at 3:50 pm

      Is that a direct quote from Number Ten?

      Like

      • March 2, 2021 at 5:26 pm

        Yes.
        No.
        Maybe.
        I refer the honourable gentleman to someone else’s previous answer.

        Liked by 1 person

    • March 2, 2021 at 10:57 pm

      Blind Corner. Blind Alley. Slippery When Wet. All safe options for Uber driving Boris.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. March 3, 2021 at 2:17 am

    I think this poem justifies
    the reason we all must be wise
    To see the reason we be rovers
    And to our governments just bend over

    Laughter is contagious. Start a pandemic

    Like

  9. March 3, 2021 at 3:48 am

    Makes sense to me.

    Like

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