The James Proclaims Brand Guarantee

James Proclaims (4)

Last updated March 14, 2021

Thank you for choosing to read this post. We are very proud of our posts here at James Proclaims and hope you are happy with your choice of reading material. However, if you are not completely satisfied with your purchase for any reason, you may return it to us for a full refund, blog credit, or an exchange. Please see below for more information on our return policy.

All returns must be postmarked within thirty (30) days of the reading date. All returned items must be in new and unused condition, with all original tags and categories attached.

To return a post, place the post securely in its original packaging, and mail your return to the following address:

James Proclaims
Attn: Returns
Proclaims Towers
Proclaims Street
Proclaims Town

After receiving your return and inspecting the condition of the post, we will process your return or exchange. Please allow at least three hundred sixty five (365) years from the receipt of your item to process your return or exchange. Refunds may take 1-2 billion cycles to appear on your credit card statement, depending on your credit card company. We will notify you by email when your return has been processed.

If you have any questions concerning our return policy, please contact us by telephone (0800 000 ZZZZ), by email ( or by telepathy. 

This one

  26 comments for “The James Proclaims Brand Guarantee

  1. March 14, 2021 at 8:10 am

    I think you should add words to the effect of, “nothing in this policy affects your statutory rights under the Consumer Credit Act and/or other applicable legislation”. Also, do I need to send my return by registered post and/or recorded delivery? Things do, as you know, have a habit of going astray in the mail ..

    Liked by 2 people

    • March 15, 2021 at 8:25 pm

      I shouldn’t worry too much about the recorded delivery, we can pretty much guarantee it will ‘get lost’ on arrival.

      Liked by 1 person

      • March 15, 2021 at 8:53 pm

        I hear a rumour, which is, I feel sure a vicious one, that Trading Standards are planning a midnight raid on Proclaim Towers ..

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Scribblans
    March 14, 2021 at 9:34 am

    Well done Proclaims Inc. Visitors have to know where they stand. That’s why my About page lists similar terms and conditions for reading, just so they know I’m not really on their side.

    Liked by 2 people

    • March 15, 2021 at 8:27 pm

      I’d hate for anyone to believe that this blog wasn’t fuelled by shameless narcissism.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. March 14, 2021 at 10:01 am

    You’re just a big generous softy.
    Clear, precise & concise.
    I wish other products could take a leaf from your book.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. March 14, 2021 at 1:44 pm

    I’ll drink to that.
    Is there money back on the bottle?

    Liked by 2 people

    • March 15, 2021 at 8:29 pm

      We’ll say yes, but don’t ask for any customer testimonials

      Liked by 2 people

  5. March 14, 2021 at 2:08 pm

    Oh, I’ve got a message for you, buddy. Read THIS telepathically and take your blog and…
    Oops. Sorry. I used to work the returns counter at Walmart and was channeling a large number of customers I’ve dealt with in the past.

    Liked by 2 people

    • March 15, 2021 at 8:31 pm

      Perfectly understandable and try not to tune in to the telepathic response

      Liked by 1 person

  6. March 14, 2021 at 2:26 pm

    I’ve always been completely satisfied with my James Proclaims products. Have you thought about additional incentives though: “Order now and receive this amazing set of Ginsu knives”?

    Liked by 2 people

    • March 15, 2021 at 8:40 pm

      I don’t think it would be wise to provide weapons to my readers


  7. March 14, 2021 at 2:53 pm

    Love the typo on the domain name in the ‘questions’ section 😉

    Liked by 3 people

    • March 15, 2021 at 8:41 pm

      It was, of course, a genuine typo, but I did spot it before publication and I thought it was funnier to leave it in

      Liked by 1 person

  8. March 14, 2021 at 3:26 pm

    Did you just dox yourself?

    Liked by 2 people

  9. March 14, 2021 at 6:19 pm

    This is bogus. I think it’s a long winded no-(prp)claims bonus scheme myself. And I already complained telepath-illogically. Or at least I thought you thought so. (Loved the tags intact bit.)

    Liked by 2 people

    • March 15, 2021 at 8:43 pm

      I was quite pleased with that

      Liked by 1 person

  10. March 16, 2021 at 3:23 am

    I have sent you several telepathic messages but have gotten no reply. Are you sure you are receiving??

    Laughter increases your face value

    Liked by 1 person

    • March 16, 2021 at 4:43 am

      All of our telepaths are currently very busy. Your call is important to us and we will answer you as soon as an agent becomes available

      Liked by 1 person

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