
With the end of lockdown in sight it’s time to start making plans and at James Proclaims, we would like to help you to to make the most of the New Normal, with exclusive access to our new outdoor blogging club.
Take advantage of our pre-opening offer and get your first month free and no joining fee.*
Outdoor blogging is the perfect way to ease yourself back into a routine in the glorious fresh air. From high impact favourites such as HIIT posting and group re-blogs to relaxing clichés and even Personal Poetry Training for that extra motivation – now is the time to start over-sharing on the internet again.
And, when our bright, airy indoor spaces open you’ll have access to our state-of-the-art wifi, stunning indoor pencils, as well as our plastic chairs and vending machines.
Join today and get your first month free with no joining fee as long as you commit to paying our exorbitant fees for the ensuing twelve months. Hurry offer ends 28th March.
COVID PROMISE
Join in confidence with our COVID Promise.
If our Club is closed by Government due to a local or national lockdown, we will ignore your phone calls for the period we are closed without any shame.
*Terms and Conditions apply. Don’t bother reading them though. They use big words and you wouldn’t understand them.

But is it subject to the James Proclaims Brand Guarantee?
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I hope so
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Ahhh… I’ve so missed stunning people with pencils.
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It is very much an indoor sport
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I regret I am unable to take up your generous offer until my legacy from The Honourable Charles Johnson-Smythe comes through. I sent off the shipping fee last week.
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Just a matter of time then
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sounds a bit too good to be true. I do hope the fees are exhorbitant, I would hate to get ripped off by a cheap scam.
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I can assure you that this is a scam of the very highest quality
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Shame doesn’t seem to be an attribute you have in abundance anyway.
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It would certainly appear that I’m not overstocked with shame
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…I don’t understand…
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Which is why you are the perfect customer
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Gosh. Is that more expensive?
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Its’ a done deal. Or is it just me wots been done?
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You’ve taken your first step towards a new you
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Sign me up right away!! I will transfer my payment the second Tuesday of next week. If for some reason you don’t receive it, check your WiFi. It may have gotten tangled in the ethernet
Laughter increases your face value
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You have made a positive lifestyle choice today sir and we will take as many Tuesdays as necessary to extract payment.
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Unfortunately, I will not be able to partake at this time. I’m waiting for a Nigerian prince to return my — uh — emails. cheers
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He can be tricky to get hold of, that Nigerian prince.
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