A Resolutionary Vision

It’s New Year’s Day and thus time to lift myself out of the pit of Christmas excess and make some empty promises about how much better I’m going to be moving forwards.

I like to make such annual pledges in the form of a blog post, so that I have a record to look back on at the end of the year. It’s helpful to see my failures in print when I’m reflecting on how badly I’ve let myself down again.

Not that I ever really take these things too seriously. My ‘resolutions’ in previous years have ranged from the ludicrously unachievable to the mundanely unambitious, but the point is that content is content and it would be foolish to eschew the opportunity to produce a post for my blog on the theme of New Year’s Resolutions. So please take this for the cynical filler post that it is.

That said, cynical or not, I should at least offer up some token resolutions in order to ensure that this post fulfils the minimal obligation of a New Year’s Resolution post. If I’m honest, my heart’s not really in it. I drank too much beer yesterday and passed out long before midnight. However, my daughter helpfully woke me up in the early hours of the morning because she wasn’t feeling well. So I managed to have hardly any sleep yet still miss the critical moment when 2021 ended and 2022 began. At least I missed it when it happened in the UK. I expect I was wide awake when the New Year arrived in other parts of the world, but it’s generally customary to see in the New Year in one’s own time-zone. Incidentally my daughter now appears to be perfectly well, so her night time woes may well have been an over-reaction, but it’s hard to hold grudges against a three-year-old. Particularly one that is currently pretending to be a cat.

Anyway, if for no other reason than to tick a box, here are my resolutions for 2022. They may or may not be inspired by a comment I received in response to last year’s resolutions, which accused me of plagiarising the movie Space Jam, even though I’ve never seen the movie Space Jam:

1. Watch the movie Space Jam – as mentioned above, I’ve never seen the 1996 original and never particularly wanted to, but then a sequel came out in 2021. And nothing piques my curiosity about a film I’ve never seen than a sequel getting made a quarter of a century later. Also the original movie is available on a streaming service that I subscribe to and is probably the kind of thing I can stick on while Little Proclaims is still awake. So I expect I’ll get around to righting the wrong of never having seen Space Jam soon enough.
2. Watch the movie Space Jam: A New Legacy – having ignored the original for over 25 years, I feel it only right to get on board with the critically-panned sequel as soon as possible. Fortunately I don’t have two and half decades of nostalgia established so I doubt I’ll be too wounded by any failings on the part of the newer film and perhaps I can even irritate fans of the original movie by claiming that I prefer the sequel.
3. Become a Space Jam superfan – Having ignored this pop-culture phenomenon for so long, it seems only right that I now become overly enthusiastic about it, buy any associated merchandise and dedicate all future posts on this blog to a series of essays on the cultural significance of Space Jam, alongside a series of badly-written Space Jam fan-fiction.
4. Release a series of fruit preserves called Space Jams – I might as well cash in on my soon-to-be-established love of Space Jam and what better way than creating an homage to the movies through fruit-based spreads.
5. Maybe do something that is unrelated to Space Jam – I doubt I’ll have too much time for this, but I don’t want to set the bar too low on day one.

And those are my New Year’s Resolutions for 2022. Why not share yours in the comments below? I’m not especially interested in your resolutions but you might find that my other reader would appreciate the opportunity to interact with you and I’m nothing if not a magnanimous host.