A Cynical Revision Of The British National Anthem Inspired By The Ever-Increasing Divide Between The Haves And Have-Nots

Yesterday was the coronation of King Charles III. Which you probably already know. It was kind of a big deal. Such a big deal that it inspired me to briefly come out of my blog exile (an exile imposed largely by the fact that I have been in a perpetual state of exhaustion since the arrival of my second child in April 2022).

I don’t really know if this is the beginning of a comeback or a one-off ‘coronation special’. Time will tell.

But I was genuinely inspired by the events of yesterday. Mainly by the sycophantic coverage of an event dripping in pomp and ceremony that, to me as least, seemed at odds with the more general state of the nation, a nation in which many well-qualified hardworking professionals have been driven to strike action on the basis that they can’t currently afford to make ends meet.

Don’t get me wrong, while I’m no ardent royalist, I’m not especially against the royal family (or not all of them anyway) and if we have to have a king, it may as well be Charles. And clearly quite a lot of people enjoyed the day and I wouldn’t want to take that enjoyment away from them. But while watching some of the coverage (because it was quite hard to avoid watching at least some of the coverage in spite of my overall indifference) I couldn’t help but feel that some of the people who were belting out the national anthem in Westminster Abbey, might be more inspired by their own self-interest, rather than a genuine love of the king. So I thought I might rewrite some of the lyrics in honour of that self-interest.

There are five verses to ‘God Save the King’, but it’s generally customary to only sing the first and last verses at official occasions. Which has made my task a little easier. Because it’s much easier to parody two verses than five.

Anyway, without further ceremony (one hopes), here is my updated national anthem for the overprivileged sycophants:

God Save Our Bling!

God save our gravy train
Long live ill-gotten gains
God save our bling!
Our wealth is notorious,
Not meritorious,
We are vainglorious
God save our bling!

The choicest gifts in store,
On us be pleased to pour,
Long may we gain!
May he defend our stash,
And ever give us cash,
To spend with decadence
God save our bling!

  8 comments for “A Cynical Revision Of The British National Anthem Inspired By The Ever-Increasing Divide Between The Haves And Have-Nots

  1. scribblans
    May 7, 2023 at 3:32 pm

    Seems to be a fair and even-handed modification that perhaps even Liverpool FC fans might allow themselves to sing.


  2. May 7, 2023 at 4:24 pm

    Nice to see you, as always, James. However beware, and expect a visit from the Spanish Inquisition!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. May 7, 2023 at 9:21 pm

    Nicely done; I always thought Pythons ‘Upper Class Twit’ skit had Charles as the template. Oops, there goes the Knighthood.


  4. May 7, 2023 at 10:37 pm

    I’m already humming it!
    It’s an ear dorm.


    • May 7, 2023 at 10:38 pm

      Ear worm….bloody autocorrect!


  5. May 7, 2023 at 10:39 pm

    Ear worm b***** autocorrect


  6. May 8, 2023 at 2:20 am

    God save our bling!


  7. May 8, 2023 at 7:26 am

    Perfect. You’ve nailed it.


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